Nuts! The Threat to Our Nation’s Infrastructure

For years now we’ve told you, and told you, and told you yet again about a persistent threat to America’s infrastructure. Now that the New York Times has caught up, maybe now you’ll listen.

This year there have been stealth attacks on the electric power grid in Virginia, Illinois, Delaware, Virginia, Oregon, Ohio, Maryland, and dozens of places across the country, and they continue. These attacks on electrical substations are predictable and avoidable, yet nothing is done to avert them. Perhaps if we claim they are caused by Iranian hackers we can get relief.

More:

“Squirrel Power!” Jon Mooallem, New York Times

“Squirrels and electricity: A shocking problem,” Bruce Kennedy, MSN Money

“How squirrels are screwing with America’s power grid,” Katie Drummond, The Verge

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la guerra allo scoiattolo grigio

In Italy, the brave people of Liguria, Piemonte and Lombardia are taking arms against a tough invader. An American invader, Sciurus carolinensis, the gray squirrel. Gray squirrels came to Italy after WWII, and are stealing food and habitat from their smaller European cousins, red squirrels (Sciurus vulgaris). Those ruthless, bushy-tailed Yanks have even resorted to germ warfare, carrying diseases lethal to local rodents.

“Basta!” said the Italians, mounting a 2 million Euro defense. Under the leadership of zoologist Andrea Balduzzi they’re trapping and sterilizing squirrels in their parks. And squirrels caught outside park borders? Firing squad. War is Hell.

More:

“Parte la guerra allo scoiattolo grigio,” Alessandra Pieracci, La Stampa

English-language summary:

“Squirrel Wars: Italy Vows To Eliminate Its American Invaders,” Worldcrunch

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Squirrel Meat, Again?

Washington Post columnist Joihn Kelly brought his week-long examination of squirrels to a logical conclusion by writing about hunting and eating the varmints. Alas, no recipes.

“I’ll have the squirrel pot pie with barbecued squirrel on the side,” John Kelly, Washington Post

Related:

“Squirrel: It’s Not Just for Breakfast Anymore!” Mike West’s Squirrel Stuff

“Al rodente: Could squirrel meat come back into vogue? ” Heather Smith, Grist

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Meat. With a Fluffy Tail.

Squirrel meat. Who eats it? Hillbillies, Hmong, and now hipsters:

“Al rodente: Could squirrel meat come back into vogue?” Heather Smith, Grist

That’s right, squirrel. It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

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Terrorists Attack U.S. Power Grid

The assault is on. Raiders from the extremist Sciurus carolinensis group are attacking the vulnerable U.S. electric power infrastructure, paralyzing the nation and plunging Americans into darkness. In Virginia. In New Jersey. In Nebraska and Washington State. 

Mass evacuation in Trenton. Terror in Tennessee. Services severed in North Carolina. Arson in Idaho.

Can nothing be done? Is no one safe? When will it end?

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Terrorists Strike U.S. Infrastructure

Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes to defending America’s vital power grid from home-grown terrorists. Known to experts as Sciurus carolinensis, these sly, suicidal saboteurs infiltrate transformer stations at will, denying thousands of loyal Americans their God-given right to power up their Chinese-made flat-screen TVs.

October 24, 2009, Fulton, MO: “”Squirrel causes power failure in Fulton on Saturday,” Fulton Sun. 

October 19, 2009, Ogdensburg, NY: “Squirrel causes 8-hour outage,” Watertown Daily Times.

October 10, 2009, Chico CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Chico Enterprise-Record.

October 7, 2009, Anderson IN: “Squirrel blamed for power outage to southwest Anderson,”  The Herald Bulletin.

October 7, 2009, Fredericksburg VA: “Squirrel Sparks Power Outage,” University of Mary Washington Bullet.

October 2, 2009, Glendale, CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Glendale News Press

September 30, 2009, Pekin, IL:  “Squirrel causes power outage,” Pekin Daily Times.

Terrorists Struck USA Despite Bush Claim

Before his exile to the barren wastelands of the Texas wilderness, disgraced ex-President George W. Bush told one last lie:

“There can be little debate about the results. America has gone more than seven years without another terrorist attack on our soil.”

Hah! Billions spent by the Amerikanische Heimat Sicherheit Abteilung but terrorists still stage blazing attacks in the United States with impunity! We warned you before, but you didn’t listen. Now MeanLouise reports more Bush-era outrages:

Shocking Terror Attacks, New Security Measures

Terrorists have struck again at electrical transmission lines and transformer stations, the soft underbelly of America’s power grid. Shocking suicide attacks have caused four power outages in the last two months at the peaceful campus of the University of Kentucky at Lexington, according to the Kentucky Kernel.

The university has budgeted $100,000 for security measures, according to Richard McClure, physical plant division manager. “We’ve had that problem on and off for several years,” he said.

Shocking Midwestern Terror Attacks

Terrorist squirrels attacked the vulnerable infrastructure of Wisconsin and Michigan Monday. Electrical transmission lines and transformer stations, the soft underbelly of America’s power grid, were the targets of the furious furry fighters.