Son-In-Law-In-Chief Kushner Reassures Us About COVID-19

Back in April, the Secretary of Slim Suits, Trump son-in-law, and Senior Advisor to the President Jared Kushner, fresh from bringing peace to the Middle East, was running a shadow task force on COVID-19. He called the Trump Administration’s coronavirus response “a great success story” on MAGA-friendly Fox & Friends.

It turns out he also told Bob Woodward the reason for this great success:

“There were three phases. There’s the panic phase, the pain phase and then the comeback phase. That doesn’t mean there’s not still a lot of pain and there won’t be pain for a while, but that basically was, we’ve now put out rules to get back to work. Trump’s now back in charge. It’s not the doctors. They’ve kind of — we have, like, a negotiated settlement.”

The Moon Is Awash In Water

Two new studies indocate that there are “cold traps” on the moon full of water. NASA spied on Luna from a high-flying jet named SOFIA (Stratospheric Observatory for Infrared Astronomy) and found the unique signature of water all over the place on sunlit portions of the moon. A secord study finds that frozen water could be hiding in lunar shadows on 15,444 square miles of the moon’s real estate. Astronauts are probably planning lakeside chateaus as you read this.

Trump Plans Superspreader Election Night Watch Party

After successfully infecting the Republican leadership at the Rose Garden Amy Barrett reveal party, Donald Trump is planning a November 3rd COVID-Fest at the now-empty hotel he somehow leases from the federal government:

“President Donald Trump has his eye on hosting an election night party at his own hotel in the nation’s capital.

Over the past several days, the campaign has pushed out fundraising emails in the president’s name offering donors the chance to enter a drawing ‘to join Team Trump at the Election Night Party in my favorite hotel,’ in Washington, suggesting he will use his luxury hotel as the backdrop for reacting to election results. The campaign has also spotlighted plans for the party in fundraising blasts from the president’s son Donald Trump. Jr.”

—“Trump eyes hosting election night party at his DC hotel,” Aamer Madhani, Associated Press

More:

“No Dancing, No Live Music, No Standing: What an Election Night Party at the Trump Hotel Might Look Like,”Andrew Beaujon, Washingtonian

Related:

“How Trump Became the Pro-Infection Candidate,” Dhruv Khullar, The New Yorker

“America Is About to Choose How Bad the Pandemic Will Get,” Ed Yong, The Atlantic

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Zero Waste Restaurant

 Douglas McMaster opened the Silo Restaurant to demonstrate that dining can be environmentally sustainable. Video directed by Matt Hopkins.

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Judicial Maneuvers In the Dark

Late Monday, a week before Election Day, in the dead of night, Senate Republicans confirmed Amy Coney Barrett as Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. She was sworn in quickly, in the dark, behind the White House on the South Lawn. President Trump did most of the talking.

God save the Republic.

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The Haunted Mansion

The White House had a children’s Halloween party last weekend. That’s pretty frightening given the rate of COVID-19 infection at the White House. Thanks to Donald Trump’s ineptitude, the Executive Mansion is now haunted by the souls of 230,000 dead Americans. The Biden Transition Team better have a skilled exorcist on board.

More:

“Trumps celebrate Halloween at the White House,” Jean Lotus, UPI

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I Can’t Make It Alone

“I Can’t Make It Alone,” written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King, recorded by the Continental Drifters, 2001.

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There She Goes

“There She Goes,” written by Lee Mavers and recorded by him with The La’s, 1998. Lee Mavers (lead and backing vocals, acoustic guitar), John Power (bass, backing vocals), John Byrne (lead guitar), Chris Sharrock (drums, tambourine).

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Just Ain’t Enough Love

“Just Ain’t Enough Love,” written by Holland–Dozier–Holland, recorded by Eddie Holland, 1964.

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Passionate Kisses

“Passionate Kisses,” written by Lucinda Williams, recorded by Mary Chapin Carpenter, 1992. Music video by Markus Blunder.

Mary Chapin Carpenter website

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