Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes to defending America’s vital power grid from home-grown terrorists. Known to experts as Sciurus carolinensis, these sly, suicidal saboteurs infiltrate transformer stations at will, denying thousands of loyal Americans their God-given right to power up their Chinese-made flat-screen TVs.
October 24, 2009, Fulton, MO: “”Squirrel causes power failure in Fulton on Saturday,” Fulton Sun.
October 19, 2009, Ogdensburg, NY: “Squirrel causes 8-hour outage,” Watertown Daily Times.
October 10, 2009, Chico CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Chico Enterprise-Record.
October 7, 2009, Anderson IN: “Squirrel blamed for power outage to southwest Anderson,” The Herald Bulletin.
October 7, 2009, Fredericksburg VA: “Squirrel Sparks Power Outage,” University of Mary Washington Bullet.
October 2, 2009, Glendale, CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Glendale News Press
September 30, 2009, Pekin, IL: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Pekin Daily Times.
September 29, 2009, Flint MI: “Power outage forces Flint hospital to outsource surgery Monday night,” MLive.com
September 17, 2009, Westfield, IN : “Squirrel causes power failure at Westfield substation,” Westfield Star.
September 15, 2009, Oak Ridge, TN: “”Squirrel causes Oak Ridge power outage,” Knoxville News Sentinel.
September 14 2009, Dickinson ND: “Power outage affects 828 MDU customers: Squirrel gets caught in electrical equipment.” Dickinson Press
September 3, 2009, Fort Gordon [Augusta], GA: “Squirrel causes post power outage, fire,” The Signal. (This U.S. Army base is “the largest communications-electronics facility in the free world”)
August 8, 2009, East Lansing, MI: “Squirrel deemed culprit in local power outages,” MSU State News.
June 13, 2009. Los Angeles (Hollywood!), CA: “Squirrel knocks out power to thousands,” L.A. Now.
June 1, 2009, Wilmington, NC: “”Squirrel gets blame for Wilmington power failure,” Wilmington Star News.
May 11, 2009, Erie Township, OH: “Erie Township power failure is blamed on a squirrel,” Toledo Blade.
March 25, 2009, Scappoose, OR: “Squirrel Disregards Electrical Safety, Causes Outage in Scappoose,” Columbia River PUD Newsletter
These anonymous terrorists have no respect for our flag or our traditions. They even stopped the NASDAQ Stock Exchange. What drives them? What is their motivation? We will probably never understand. But we have plenty of tactical and intellegence information on these home-grown monsters, and we certainly know what to do with them.
All we lack is the political will.
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
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