Archive for the ‘Republicans’ Category

Fresh Fiorina Failure

February 11, 2016

Fresh Fiorina Failure
Carly Fiorina, the CEO who crashed Compaq and HP and laid off 30,000 employees, who campaigned for the Senate in 2010 with a herd of Demon Sheep and lost, has suspended her 2016 presidential campaign after finishing 7th in the New Hampshire GOP primary. Another failed tycoon finished first.

More:

“Fiorina Cheers Self Up by Firing Campaign Staff,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
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Chris Christie to Exit GOP Race?

February 10, 2016

Chris Christie to Exit GOP Race?
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is expected to suspend his presidential campaign after finishing 6th in the New Hampshire Republican Primary.  Andy Borowitz said it best: “Chris Christie Quits Race to Focus on Tormenting Rubio.”

Updates:

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie ends 2016 White House bid,” Jill Colvin, Associated Press

“Christie Leaves White House Race ‘Without An Ounce Of Regret,'” Sara Jerde, TPM Livewire

“Why Chris Christie Failed,” Nate Silver, Vox

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New Hampshire Fashion Statement

February 9, 2016

New Hampshire Fashion Statement

“Donald Trump Is a Loser in Iowa. Sad!” Jeremy Stahl, Slate

“Why Trump Lost Iowa,” John McCormack, Weekly Standard

“The Internet celebrates Trump’s humiliating Iowa loss,” Brad Reed, BGR

“NY tabloids mock Trump over Iowa loss,” Jesse Byrnes, The Hill

“In Iowa, the Emperor Has No Clothes,” Emily Arrowood, U.S. News & World Report

“All Donald Trump does is win – until he doesn’t. Now what happens?” Paul Lewis, The Guardian

“Loser.com redirects to Iowa nonwinner Donald Trump,” Chris Matyszczyk, CNET.com

“Rivals Look to New Hampshire for a Shot at Breaking Donald Trump’s Stride,” Alexander Burns, New York Times

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Marco Rubio is Not a Robot. Robots Are Smarter.

February 8, 2016

Marco Rubio is Not a Robot. Robots Are Smarter.
In the recent GOP debate in Manchester, New Hampshire, Chris Christie pointed out that Marco Rubio keeps mechanically repeating a few rehearsed phrases over and over. Critics and protesters are calling the Florida Senator “Robot Rubio,” “Marcobot,” Rubio Bot,” and “Robo-Rubio.” That’s unfair.

Marco Rubio is not a robot. Robots are smarter than that.

If you’re a registered Republican, you’re probably old enough to recognize what Mr. Rubio really is. He’s not a robot and not a broken record. He’s Chatty Marco.

In 1960, Mattel Inc. introduced the Chatty Cathy doll. It had a pull-string voicebox; when the string was pulled it “spoke”and played back one of a dozen pre-recorded phrases at random. Cathy was not designed to respond to changing circumstances with new utterances. Robots, however, can do that through AI, and they are constantly learning new responses.

See? Marco Rubio is not a robot.

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Quitter: Trump Debate No-Show

January 28, 2016

Quitter: Trump Debate No-Show

“Trump’s Misogynistic Meltdown,” Emily Arrowood, U.S. News & World Report

“Donald Trump Is Skipping the GOP Debate Because He Hates Women,” Jesse Berney, Rolling Stone

“CNN’s Carol Costello: If Trump ‘Cherishes Women,’ Why Does He Call Them Bimbos?” Alex Griswold, Mediaite

“Donald Trump has a problem with strong women,” Edward Luce, Financial Times

“Rand Paul: Donald Trump ‘Doesn’t Like A Strong, Assertive Woman,’” Andrew Kaczynski, BuzzFeed

“The sexism in Donald Trump’s latest swipe at Fox News’s Megyn Kelly,” Eric Wemple, Washington Post

“Fear of Women Is Key to Donald Trump’s Misogyny — and America’s,” Adele M. Stan, American Prospect

Related:

“Millions Resent Being Put in Horrible Position of Siding with Megyn Kelly,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

“How Donald Trump uses .political correctness. to make sexist bullying seem like heroism,” Amanda Taub, Vox

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‘Two Corinthians Walk Into a Bar ….’

January 27, 2016

'2 Corinthians Walk Into a Bar ....'

When Republican presidential hopeful, shady golfer and adulterer Donald Trump spoke at fundamentalist Liberty University recently, he quoted from his “favorite book,” the Bible, which someone else read for him (he “has people…”). Mr. Trump elicited ridicule by citing Second Corinthians as “Two Corinthians.” Oops.

Maybe The Donald would have been better off quoting from his “second favorite book,” Art of the Deal. That’s the autobiography he paid Tony Schwartz to write for him.

Really smartWharton grad Donnie Trump may have flunked Bible School, but that didn’t stop gun-totinlawyer and Liberty U. prez Jerry Falwell Jr. from endorsing him. Mr. Falwell, like his televangelist daddy, is a man of faith, facts and democracy be damned.

More:

“Trump Thumps Bible, Bible Thumps Back,” Monica Bauer, Huffington Post

“Trump’s Liberty U Performance Was Insulting to Christians Everywhere,” Tom DeLay, Christian Post

“Bible-thumping playboy: Associated Press explores faith, contradictions of Donald Trump,” Bobby Ross Jr., Get Religion

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Republican Debate: Race to the Bottom

January 15, 2016

Republican Debate: Race to the Bottom

At the 6th Republican Presidential Debate in Charleston, South Carolina, it was difficult to identify the real Donald Trump. All seven participants seemed to be angry and irrational, apparently the chief requirements for the GOP candidacy this year.

More:

“Fact Checker of Republican Debate Hospitalized for Exhaustion,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

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Ted Cruz, Senator from Goldman Sachs

January 14, 2016

Ted Cruz, Senator from Goldman Sachs
While running for his U.S. Senate seat in 2012, Texas Republican Ted Cruz failed to disclose a $500,000 campaign loan from Goldman Sachs, reports the New York Times. That’s especially awkward since Ted’s missus, Heidi Nelson Cruz, is a Managing Director at Goldman Sachs in Houston. In fact, Chad Sweet, Cruz 2016 presidential campaign manager, worked for Goldman Sachs for 10 years. Candidate Cruz has recently tried to distance himself from Goldman as part of his hardly credible populist pose.

Besides that sizeable low-interest loan from his wife’s bosses, Mr. Cruz apparently got one from Citibank, too. Other campaigns have been fined for failing to make such disclosures to the FEC. The Cruz campaign’s response to the Times story: “Ooops.”

More:

“Ted Cruz Hates ‘New York Values’ But Sure Loves New York Money,” Jon Schwarz, The Intercept

“Ted Cruz’s Loan from Goldman Sachs Was a Bullish Bet on the Obama Economy,” David Nir, AlterNet

Related:

“Goldman Sachs Will Pay $5 Billion To Settle Financial-Crisis Claims,” Jim Zarroli, NPR News

“The Great American Bubble Machine,” Matt Taibbi, Rolling Stone

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GOP Healthcare Plan

January 10, 2016

GOP Healthcare Plan

Before leaving DC for their usual four-day weekend, the Republican-dominated Congress voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) and replace it with … nothing. Don’t panic, you still have health insurance; the president quickly vetoed the GOP bill.

While this is the first time the Senate passed such a bill, the GOP-dominated House has voted to repeal the ACA sixty-two times.

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Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Birther

January 7, 2016

Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Birther

Donald Trump told an interviewer the issue of Ted Cruz’s Canadian birth could be “very precarious” for the GOP if Senator Cruz emerges as the Republican presidential nominee, since a U.S. president is required to be a “natural-born” U.S. citizen and Mr. Cruz was born in Canada. Since Mommy Cruz was a U.S. citizen, Calgary-born Ted is considered a natural U.S. citizen, but was automatically granted dual Canadian citizenship by accident of natal geography.

Ted Cruz forgot about that last fact until recently reminded by the Dallas Morning News. He finally renounced his Ottawa allegience and hasn’t been Canadian for the last 18 months. Even so, Senator Rand Paul thinks his Texan colleague is “without question … qualified … to be prime minister of Canada.”

Donald Trump, of course, was Obama-birther-in-chief in days gone by. He probably casts doubt on title claims when negotiating for real estate, too.

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