Posts Tagged ‘GOP’

Honest Abe Schock Says Farewell

March 27, 2015

Honest Abe Schock Says Farewell

Disgraced Congressman Aaron Schock (R, IL-18), who resigned to forestall an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation, compared himself to Abraham Lincoln in a farewell speech on the House floor on Thursday:

“Abraham Lincoln held this seat in Congress for one term. But few faced as many defeats in his personal business and public life as he did. His continual perseverance in the face of these trials, never giving up, is something all of us Americans should be inspired by, especially when going through a valley in life.”

Of course President Lincoln didn’t have the FBI and a grand jury investigating his possible misuse of campaign funds and taxpayer dollars.

Congressman Schock’s resignation is effective March 31st. He will be returning to his humble log cabin  somewhere in the wilds of Illinois. Near a golf course, perhaps.

Related:

“Aaron Schock leaving Congress with $3.3M in campaign funds,” Chicago Tribune

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Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length

Ted Cruz Declares Holy War

March 23, 2015

Ted Cruz Declares Holy War

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) declared his presidential candidacy Monday at Liberty University, invoking the Deity (who seems to have endorsed him), Jesus Christ, Rafael Cruz (his own preacher daddy), GOP saint Ronald Reagan and, oddly, Thomas Jefferson (who re-wrote the Bible, omitting the miracles of Jesus) and ultimate Big Government champ FDR.

Excerpts from Monday’s address by Mr. Cruz (links added):

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Ted Cruz: The Cruzade Begins

March 22, 2015

Ted Cruz: The Cruzade Begins

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) will announce that he is a candidate for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination today. The venue? Liberty University (“Training Champions for Christ since 1971“), founded by the late televangelist Jerry Falwell, not known for religious tolerance or compassion. Mr. Cruz should feel right at home. His Dad, Rafael Cruz, is a Texas evangelical pastor who makes Jerry Falwell look like Mister Rogers.

There should be a substantial crowd for the senator’s appearance at the Vines Center, since the event is a Liberty University Convocation. All LU students who live on campus are required to attend these convocations, which occur three times a week.

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God, Guns, Grits and Snake Oil

March 22, 2015

God, Guns, Grits and Snake Oil

Now that Mike Huckabee has left Fox News, he’s financing his presidential campaign in an unconventional way.  He sent out an email pitch for a dubious diabetes cure based on ingredients found in cinnamon buns.

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Schock & Awe

March 17, 2015

Schock & Awe

Aaron Schock, Earl of Peoria and the Viscount Sangamon, has retired from the Imperial Government and will return to his country estates. Lord Aaron was aghast to discover he was sitting in the House of Commons, not the House of Lords.

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Kid Senator Pens ‘Cheeky’ Letter to Iran; International Crisis Ensues

March 11, 2015

Kid Senator Pens 'Cheeky' Letter to Iran; International Crisis Ensues

In office for a couple of months, young freshman Senator Tom Cotton (AR-R) wrote an open letter to the leaders of Iran, saying that any nuclear agreement they sign with the current administration won’t be worth a bucket of warm spit in two years when the Tea Party takes over the White House. That’s misleading, but 46 other GOP senators signed on anyway, some of them older guys who really don’t know what they’re signing. These political pen pals are being hailed as … traitors, reckless, dumb, dangerous and irresponsible, trolls, saboteurs, and so on.

Secretaries of State past and present denounced the letter as a dangerous political stunt. Iran blew it off, but there’s been a strong, substantial public backlash in the USA. Now the GOP letter writers claim it was all a joke, that they were just being “cheeky.” After all, what’s more fun than jeopardizing a critical nuclear weapons agreement?

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Texas Legislator: ‘Get That Fetus a Lawyer!’

March 9, 2015

Texas Legislator: 'Get That Fetus a Lawyer!'

Texas State Representative Matt Krause (R-District 93, Tarrant County) wants legal representation for fetuses, and has introduced a bill to that effect in the Texas House of Representatives. Rep. Krause was one of the first graduates of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University School of Law, and ran the Texas branch of Liberty Counsel, a “legal ministry” which, by a remarkable coincidence, is headed by a professor from the Liberty University School of Law.

More:

“New Texas Plan Would Assign Lawyers To Fetuses,” Tara Culp-Ressler, Think Progress

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

March 6, 2015

Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

Scott Walker worships Ronald Reagan, which must be disconcerting to Mr. Walker’s minister father. Anyway, each year, on President Reagan’s birthday, Governor Walker eats Mr. Reagan’s favorite foodsmacaroni and cheese casserole, and red, white, and blue Jelly Belly jelly beans.

Scott Walker even got married on Ronald Reagan’s birthday. This surely makes for a very romantic anniversary dinner.

Governor Walker thinks that the most important foreign policy move of his lifetime was Reagan busting the air traffic controllers’ union. What? Hey, maybe he was thinking about all those international flights.

More: 

“Scott Walker loves Ronald Reagan more than seems humanly possible,” Andrew Prokop, Vox

“Scott Walker: Records show Soviets treated Ronald Reagan more seriously after he fired controllers,” Tom Kertscher, Politifact

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Alabama Supreme Court Secedes From Union Over Same-Sex Marriage

March 5, 2015

Alabama Supreme Court Secedes From Union Over Same-Sex Marriage

On Tuesday the Alabama Supreme Court ordered the state’s probate judges to stop issuing marriage licenses for same-sex couples, adding yet another wrinkle to a messy situation. The story so far:

On January 23rd Federal District Judge Callie Granade struck down two Alabama state laws banning same-sex marriage.

On February 8th Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore ordered state probate judges to ignore the Federal court ruling.

On February 9th the U.S. Supreme Court refused to stay the District Court’s decision, and on February 12th Judge Granade ordered the Mobile County Probate Judge to issue licenses to same-sex couples, and he and most Alabama judges complied.

On March 3rd, on a 7-1 ruling, with Chief Justice Roy Moore recusing himself, the Alabama Supreme Court issued a 138-page order for probate judges to cease granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

So why are Alabama judges standing in the courthouse door to prevent same-sex marriage, in defiance of a Federal court order? Is it … Jesus? Is it the Klan? Is this an echo of Alabama’s 33-year refusal to allow interracial marriage or some kind of nostalgia for the Confederacy?

Maybe. Mostly, it’s just politics. Alabama Supreme Court Judges are elected partisans, and their election depends on symbolic appeals to the state’s Republican Party base.

 More:

“Alabama Supreme Court Throws Tantrum, Defies Federal Judge, Halts Gay Marriages,” Mark Joseph Stern, Slate

Related:

“I Was Alabama’s Top Judge. I’m Ashamed by What I Had to Do to Get There.” Sue Bell Cobb, Politico Magazine

“John Oliver digs into the ‘horrifying spectacle’ of judicial elections,” Sarah Gray, Salon

UPDATE: 

“Alabama GOP proposes bill to let judges opt out of marrying gay couples — and Jews and Muslims too!” Jenny Kutner, Salon

“Ala. Bill Would Let Judges Opt Out Of Performing Gay Marriages,” Caitlin MacNeal, TPM Livewire

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-l0d

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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CPAC 2015

March 1, 2015

CPAC 2015

The 2015 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) is underway at National Harbor, near the casino construction site, and would-be GOP presidential candidates are trying their luck. CPAC is sometimes called Comic-Con for Conservatives, and there’s certainly lots of fantasy-and-science-fiction role-playing:

John Bolton: “I feel I have a civic obligation to escort Hillary and Bill Clinton to the exit door of American politics.”

Brent Bozell: “Cultural fascism has arrived in America.”

Jeb Bush:  “Our position needs to be to re-engage with a strong military and a strong presence. We can’t disengage in the world and expect a good result. As we pull back, voids are filled. Iraq is the best example of that.”

Ben Carson: “What am I ready for? I’m not ready for Hillary. But what am I ready for? I’m ready for a country who puts our constitution on the top shelf.”

Chris Christie: “Sometimes people have to be told to sit down and shut up.”

Ted Cruz: “We all know that in a campaign, every candidate comes up and tells you, ‘I’m the most conservative guy that’s ever lived,’ that’s just what they say. I’m pretty confident you haven’t seen any speakers come up yet to say, ‘I’m a squishy moderate who stands for nothing.’ … Every one of them will say, ‘You betcha, hoo diddly, I’m as conservative as all get-out.’”

Nigel Farage: “Every time we do these things we’re told by our leaders that it’s to make the streets of London and New York safer. I would claim that we’ve actually enflamed and stoked the fires of militant Islam.”

Carly Fiorina: “Hillary may like hashtags — but she does not know what leadership means.” “I know Bibi Netanyahu” “I know King Abdullah of Jordan”

Sean Hannity: “I can look out in the crowd, I kinda have Fox X-ray vision, and I can see that some of you women, you don’t even know it yet, but you’re pregnant. It’s not your fault. It’s not his fault.”

Laura Ingraham: “Why don’t we just call it quits, and Jeb and Hillary can run on the same ticket.”

Bobby Jindal: “We must repeal every single word of Obamacare.”

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