Posts Tagged ‘Republicans’

Santorum Crusade Commences

May 28, 2015

Santorum Crusade Commences

On Wednesday afternoon in the little Palestinian Pennsylvania town of Bethlehem Butler, a Republican savior was born. That’s right, Rick Santorum has declared that he’s running to be the 2016 GOP candidate for President.  He was accompanied by his well-heeled apostle, multi-millionaire Foster Friess.

“I’m really going to have an uphill battle ahead of me,” Mr. Santorum told the money changers in a Tuesday fundraising email, “All the way up Calvary.” Okay, maybe we imagined that last part, but the man sure felt martyred by the 2012 contest, and this Second Coming will be even more trying. This time around there are plenty of other contenders for the hearts, souls, wallets, and votes of the Theocratic Republican faithful.

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Jeb Bush is on the Paleo Diet

April 26, 2015

 Jeb Bush is on the Paleo Diet

While his rival Marco Rubio says we can’t go back to the ideas of the past, Jeb Bush is on the “Caveman Diet.”

Ex-Governor Bush is sticking to the Paleo diet on the campaign trail, and he’s lost 30 pounds.

Archaeologist Jean-Denis Vigne concludes that the Paleo diet is “more inspired by the myth of the noble savage than by the realities revealed by science.” That’s a pretty good description of the candidate’s economic policies, too.

More:

“How to Really Eat Like a Hunter-Gatherer: Why the Paleo Diet Is Half-Baked,” Ferris Jabr, Scientific American

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Image (“Paleo Diet, after V. T. Hamlin”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

April 23, 2015

Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

Former Congresscreature and born-again Tea Party loon Michele Bachmann foresees that the Rapture is nigh. Ms. Bachmann told radio host Jan Markell that the End Times are being ushered in by that Antichrist, Barack Obama.

“We need to realize how close this clock is to getting towards the midnight hour. It’s just like the Bible forewarned: in the last days it will be like the beginning of birth pangs. In my opinion, we are far beyond the beginning of birth pangs. We’re moving far down into the process. For women who are listening to this show today, you know what I’m talking about. What it’s like to deliver a baby at the very beginning stages and then at the very end before the baby is born. All I can tell you as a mom who has given birth to five babies, the birth pangs are very close together, they are very intense now and we are literally watching month by month the speed move up to a level we’ve never seen before with these events. Barack Obama is intent, it is his number one goal, to ensure that Iran has a nuclear weapon. Why? Why would you put the nuclear weapon in the hands of mad men?”

— “Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is ushering in a baby called the Rapture,” Joanna Rothkopf, Salon

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Hoosier Hospitality

March 30, 2015

Hoosier Hospitality

Indiana Governor Mike Pence, a formerly prominent Republican, is flabbergasted by the uproar about Indiana’s new Religious Freedom Restoration Act. After all, it has the same name as a Federal law and laws in 19 other states.

There are three main differences:

1.  Indiana’s law explicitly allows for-profit businesses to assert a right to “the free exercise of religion.”

2. Indiana’s law allows businesses to assert such rights as a defense against lawsuits by private individuals, not just against actions brought by government.

“So, let’s review the evidence: … there’s ‘nothing significant’ about this law that differs from the federal one, and other state ones—except that it has been carefully written to make clear that 1) businesses can use it against 2) civil-rights suits brought by individuals.”

— “What Makes Indiana’s Religious-Freedom Law Different?” Garrett Epps, The Atlantic

3. Timing. Public opinion in America has swung in favor of same-sex marriage, and Indiana Republicans are out of step with their “freedom to discriminate” legislation.

More:

“Indiana’s Mike Pence is starting to look like Lester Maddox — without the spine,” Joan Walsh, Salon

Legal types can see a letter by 30 law school professors here.

Related:

“When ‘Religious Liberty’ Was Used To Justify Racism Instead Of Homophobia,” Ian Millhiser, Think Progress

“Disciples Of Christ Cancels 2017 Convention In Protest Of Religious Freedom Law,” Daniel Strauss, TPM Livewire

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-l8f

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

Indiana Welcomes … Some of You!

March 28, 2015

Indiana Welcomes ... Some of You!

The Indiana legislature passed a law, and Republican Governor Mike Pence is so proud of it that he boldly signed it when no one was looking. The so-called ‘Religious Freedom Restoraction Act‘ grants individuals and businesses the right to discriminate against people unlike them and claim their religion mandates their bigotry.

Wholesome, honest-to-goodness Hoosier intolerance. Who could be against that?

Everyone. The ACLU. The Disciples of Christ. The NCAA. The Indianapolis Chamber of CommerceUSA Track & Field. NASCAR. Corporations like YelpSalesforce, Ennis Communications, Cummins, Angie’s List, Twitter, Subaru, General Electric and Indianapolis-based pharma giant Eli Lilly & Company. The mayors of Indianapolis, South Bend, Evansville, Washington DC, Seattle and San Francisco. The governors of Connecticut, New York, and Washington. U.S. Senator Mark Kirk (R-IL). Annual conventions like the AFSCME Conference and the $50 million Gen Con. The editors of the Indianapolis StarTim Cook. Audra McDonaldMiley Cyrus. Larry KingCharles BarkleyNick Offerman. David LettermanWilcoAshton Kutcher. Arnold Schwarzenegger. And many more.

There’s a petition, a boycott movement, and this:

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Honest Abe Schock Says Farewell

March 27, 2015

Honest Abe Schock Says Farewell

Disgraced Congressman Aaron Schock (R, IL-18), who resigned to forestall an Office of Congressional Ethics investigation, compared himself to Abraham Lincoln in a farewell speech on the House floor on Thursday:

“Abraham Lincoln held this seat in Congress for one term. But few faced as many defeats in his personal business and public life as he did. His continual perseverance in the face of these trials, never giving up, is something all of us Americans should be inspired by, especially when going through a valley in life.”

Of course President Lincoln didn’t have the FBI and a grand jury investigating his possible misuse of campaign funds and taxpayer dollars.

Congressman Schock’s resignation is effective March 31st. He will be returning to his humble log cabin somewhere in the wilds of Illinois. Near a golf course, perhaps.

Related:

“Aaron Schock leaving Congress with $3.3M in campaign funds,” Chicago Tribune

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-l74

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length

Ted Cruz Declares Holy War

March 23, 2015

Ted Cruz Declares Holy War

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) declared his presidential candidacy Monday at Liberty University, invoking the Deity (who seems to have endorsed him), Jesus Christ, Rafael Cruz (his own preacher daddy), GOP saint Ronald Reagan and, oddly, Thomas Jefferson (who re-wrote the Bible, omitting the miracles of Jesus) and ultimate Big Government champ FDR.

Excerpts from Monday’s address by Mr. Cruz (links added):

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Ted Cruz: The Cruzade Begins

March 22, 2015

Ted Cruz: The Cruzade Begins

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) will announce that he is a candidate for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination today. The venue? Liberty University (“Training Champions for Christ since 1971“), founded by the late televangelist Jerry Falwell, not known for religious tolerance or compassion. Mr. Cruz should feel right at home. His Dad, Rafael Cruz, is a Texas evangelical pastor who makes Jerry Falwell look like Mister Rogers.

There should be a substantial crowd for the senator’s appearance at the Vines Center, since the event is a Liberty University Convocation. All LU students who live on campus are required to attend these convocations, which occur three times a week.

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God, Guns, Grits and Snake Oil

March 22, 2015

God, Guns, Grits and Snake Oil

Now that Mike Huckabee has left Fox News, he’s financing his presidential campaign in an unconventional way.  He sent out an email pitch for a dubious diabetes cure based on ingredients found in cinnamon buns.

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Schock & Awe

March 17, 2015

Schock & Awe

Aaron Schock, Earl of Peoria and the Viscount Sangamon, has retired from the Imperial Government and will return to his country estates. Lord Aaron was aghast to discover he was sitting in the House of Commons, not the House of Lords.

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