Posts Tagged ‘presidential politics’

Bernie vs Trump: Epic Kvetch-Fest Called Off

May 31, 2016

Bernie vs Trump: Epic Kvetch-Fest Called Off

Last Wednesday night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel goaded tax cheat, mob associate, and GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump into agreeing to debate the issues with Democratic contender Bernie Sanders. Trump later specified a condition: a $10 million contribution to charity. His bluff was called by Cenk Uygur of Young Turks and tech CEO Richie Hecker, who offered to donate the cash.

So much for “promises kept.” Trump reneged.

In a voluminous press release of 116 whole words — several of them over 2 syllables long — Mr. Trump declined to debate Senator Sanders, saying he won’t debate a loser.

More:

“Donald Trump Says He Won’t Debate Bernie Sanders,” Janet Hook, Wall Street Journal

“Trump says he’s no longer open to debating Bernie Sanders,” Sean Sullivan, Washington Post

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Hillary: Hot!

May 19, 2016

Hillary: Hot!

When Beyoncé  sang “got hot sauce in my bag, swag” white people asked black folks “is this a thing?” It is. When Hillary Clinton revealed the bottle of hot sauce in her own handbag, she was accused of pandering for the black vote. She wasn’t. She’s carried hot sauce around for years, and had 100 different brands in the White House when she was First Lady.  What brand is she packin’ these days? Ninja Squirrel Hot Sauce, from Whole Foods.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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John Kasich does … something-or-other. Who?

May 4, 2016

John Kasich does ... something-or-other. Who
Ohio Governor John Kasich (this guy) has suspended his secret campaign for the Republican Presidential candidacy. Mr. Kasich ran on a platform of being more nondescript and less hated than the other guys.

More:

“The Long, Weird Kasich Campaign Gives In To Reality,” Harry Enten, FiveThirtyEight

Kasich for America website. Click, before it melts.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Republicans: Welcome to Cleveland!

April 5, 2016

Republicans: Welcome to Cleveland!

The city of Cleveland is looking forward to hosting the 2016 Republican National Convention in July. The Cleveland Division of Police is buying snappy new uniforms, riot-control suits that look like samurai armor. Officers will wave hello to visitors with new 26-inch expandable steel batons with weighted tips, and 300 bicycle-riding armored cops will entertain the sidewalk throngs. Cleveland police will also decorate the streetscape with miles of interlocking steel crowd-control barriers.

Congress gave Cleveland $30 million for event security, so the Ohio town is really gearing up to greet the 50,000 visiting GOP conventioneers, including Donald Trump’s legion of goons, bikers, and KKK followers. Suburban law enforcement will lend officers to bring the Cleveland force up to 5,000, but maybe Governor Kasich can have his confetti bomber on call for emergency crowd immobilization, just in case.

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Dr. Ben Carson at CPAC

March 7, 2016

Dr. Ben Carson at CPAC

Ben Carson MD addressed the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) this weekend, formally announcing that his presidential campaign is definitely deceased, passed on, is no more, has ceased to be, has expired, is bereft of life, has kicked the bucket and shuffled off this mortal coil, has run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

Dr. Carson has accepted a job as chairman of a new group practice, the Christian Catatonic Conservative Congregation, and will urge inert evangelicals to go out and vote. And buy his books.

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Dr. Carson Declares His Campaign Dead

March 3, 2016

Dr. Carson Declares His Campaign Dead

“I do not see a political path forward in light of last evening’s Super Tuesday primary results,” said Dr. Ben Carson, retired neurosurgeon and comatose Republican presidential contender on Wednesday. He had already decided to skip Thursday’s GOP debate in Detroit since no one noticed that he attended last week’s debate in Houston.

The political pathologists of the press haven’t completed the autopsy, but it appears the Carson campaign died of neglect. In lieu of flowers, send condolences to the campaign donors.

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The Klan Backs Trump

March 1, 2016

The Klan Backs Trump
Republican presidential contender Donald Trump had already been endorsed by the white nationalist American Freedom Party, neo-nazi Daily Stormer, and white nationalist outfits including American Renaissance, Occidental Dissent, White Genocide Project, Council of Conservative Citizens, and the League of the South, but the racist endorsement that finally got the attention of the media — and rival GOP campaigns — was the endorsement of Trump’s candidacy by David Duke, former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. But Mr. Duke didn’t just endorse Donald Trump; he first did that last August.

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Bernie’s Spring Break

February 23, 2016

Bernie's Spring Break

Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign has been turbocharged by the energy of young people, particularly college students. But next month there’s a competing outlet for all that energy: Spring Break.

“This year’s spring break schedule clashes directly with a large swath of primaries and caucuses, a conflict that comes at the worst possible time for Sanders, who crushed his rival Hillary Clinton among young and first-time voters in the exit polls in Iowa, New Hampshire and Nevada. The Democratic race is about to enter a four-week stretch where more than half of the party’s delegates will be awarded. But as the voting gets under way, one campus after another is closing down for weeklong breaks. In all, more than half a million college students from 14 states will be on spring break at the same time that the presidential campaign train chugs onto their campuses, according to a Politico analysis of the March 5 to March 26 primary and caucus states.”

— “Bernie’s spring break blues,” Darren Samuelsohn, Politico

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Jeb Drops Out

February 21, 2016

Jeb Drops Out
John Ellis “Jeb” Bush, 3th Earl of Bush son of the 41st US president and brother of the 43rd, has suspended his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. The Republican Party establishment faces a grim choice: Hold its nose and back Rubio, pretend John Kasich can win, or move even more of its personal wealth to Cayman Island banks.

More:

“Jeb Bush never really had a chance in the 2016 presidential race,” Chris Cillizza, Washington Post

“Unforced errors and miscalculations end Bush’s White House hopes,” Steve Holland, Reuters

“Jeb Bush: The big campaign that just couldn’t,” Janelle Ross, Washington Post

“Fall of the house of Bush: how Jeb fell victim to hype, hysteria … and himself,” Sabrina Siddiqui and Adam Gabbatt, The Guardian

“The overhyped rise and spectacular fall of Jeb Bush, in 19 devastating quotes,” Becca Stanek, The Week

“Bush’s Befuddled Goodbye and the Risks of Trump Denialism,” Amy Davidson, The New Yorker

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Fresh Fiorina Failure

February 11, 2016

Fresh Fiorina Failure
Carly Fiorina, the CEO who crashed Compaq and HP and laid off 30,000 employees, who campaigned for the Senate in 2010 with a herd of Demon Sheep and lost, has suspended her 2016 presidential campaign after finishing 7th in the New Hampshire GOP primary. Another failed tycoon finished first.

More:

“Fiorina Cheers Self Up by Firing Campaign Staff,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker
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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-ncz

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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