Posts Tagged ‘presidential politics’

Scott Walker: Wall Off the Border with Canada

September 1, 2015

Scott: Wall Off the Border With Canada

On Sunday college dropout Scott Walker, Wisconsin governor and low-ranking GOP presidential candidate, told Chuck Todd that building a wall along the Canadian border is “a legitimate issue.” It certainly would be an issue to build a wall along the world’s longest international border, since the 5,525-mile-long structure would cost unknown trillions of dollars.

“Of course we would vigorously oppose any thickening of the border,” said Canadian Defence Minister Jason Kenny. Reaction from the Great White North has been fairly muted, since Canada has a big election of its own on October 19th.

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Trump’s Favorite Book

August 31, 2015

Trump's Favorite Book

Donald J. Trump often says that the Bible is his favorite book, so interviewers were recently surprised when he could cite neither Chapter nor Verse. Of course, we already know that he’s not good with Numbers.

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Trump’s Temperament: Temper-Bent

August 14, 2015

Trump's Temperament: Temper-Bent

“In the second grade…I punched my music teacher because I didn’t think he knew anything about music….I’m not proud of that, but it’s clear evidence that even early on I had a tendency to stand up and make my opinions known in a very forceful way.”

— Donald Trump, in Trump: The Art of the Deal (1987), quoted in “8 Skeletons in Donald Trump’s Closet That Reveal a Life-Long Dedication to Being the Biggest Jerk Possible,” Zaid Jilani, AlterNet

 By age 13 young Donny Trump had screwed up so often that his millionaire Dad pulled him out of Kew-Forest prep school and sent him away to New York Military Academy, a boarding school upstate. The way he’s been cutting up on the campaign trail, seems like it’s time for him to return for a refresher course.

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GOP TV Game Show on Fox

August 8, 2015

GOP TV Game Show on Fox

On Thursday night Fox News premiered its new game show, Last Clown Standing, with GOP celebrity contestants Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie, and John Kasich performing for a record audience. So who won? Probably Megyn Kelly. Certainly not the Republican Party.

Only 9 more exhausting exciting episodes before Election Day, November 8, 2016. Stay tuned for the next show, on September 16, 2015.

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Bernie Surges!

July 17, 2015

Bernie Surges!
Vermont’s Democratic Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders is drawing bigger crowds than any other 2016 presidential candidate, 2,500 in Iowa, 10,000 in one Wisconsin event alone. While some think his positions are too radical for America, others think they have more in common with Teddy Roosevelt than Eugene Debs.

Right now Senator Sanders’ grassroots effort is gaining on Hillary Clinton in the polls. All he needs now is some kind of campaign song ….

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TV Terminates Trump

July 2, 2015

NBC to Trump: 'You're Fired!'
Donald John Trump, Sr., reality television performer, real estate heirgolf course owner, beauty pageant producer, hotel and casino boss, chairman and president of Trump This n’ That, and really rich person, declared his candidacy for U.S. President two weeks ago. He also declared that Mexican immigrants are drug dealers, rapists, and killers.

Needless to say, this did not go over well with the USA’s largest ethnic group, Latinos, or with the Republic of Mexico. America’s largest Spanish-language broadcaster Univisión was the first to unplug Trump, dropping coverage of the Miss USA and Miss Universe beauty pageants he produces, and NBC followed suit. Understandably, Miss Mexico opted out of the Miss Universe competition, and so did Miss Costa Rica. NBC’s Miss USA co-hosts also bailed, Miss USA judges Zuleyka Rivera and Emmitt Smith recused themselves, and rapper Flo Rida won’t perform on the show, either.

New York City is reviewing its contracts with the Trump Organization, which manages Central Park’s skating rinks and carousel and golf links at Point Ferry Park in the Bronx. NASCAR won’t hold its awards ceremony at Trump’s hotel. Macy’s is discontinuing it’s Trump menswear line, but there’s been lots of interest in Donald Trump piñatas, hand-crafted in Mexico.

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Chris Christie Boards the GOP Clown Car

July 1, 2015

Chris Christie Boards the GOP Clown Car

Yesterday New Jersey Governor Chris Christie announced his bid for the Republican presidential candidacy at Livingston High School, where he once was Class President and catcher on the baseball team. A few weeks back the Gov was named MVP at a charity softball game in Yankee Stadium. He should have quit while he was ahead.

Mr. Christie is the 14th passenger in the GOP 2016 Presidential Primary clown car, which was already bulging at the seams.

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Trump Declares … Something or Other

June 17, 2015

Trump Declares . . . Something or Other

Donald John Trump, Sr., reality television performer, golf course owner, beauty pageant promoter, casino owner, and chairman and president of Trump This n’ That, has made a takeover bid for the 2016 Republican candidacy for the U.S. presidency. He outlined his platform Tuesday in a speech at the Trump Tower of Barad-dûr in midtown Mordor:

The Economy:

“I don’t need anybody’s money. It’s nice…I’m really rich.”

“I’m really rich. And by the way, I’m not even saying that to brag. That’s the kind of mindset, the kind of thinking, you need for this country… We have the opposite thinking: We have losers.”

Immigration:

“The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s problems.”

International Diplomacy:

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”

“I beat China all the time.”

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Pataki Joins the Umpteen Other Contenders for the 2016 GOP Nomination

May 31, 2015

Pataki Joins the Umpteen Other Contenders for the 2016 GOP Nomination
Last week former New York Governor George Pataki announced that he is running to be the 2016 Republican Presidential candidate. He’s got three big problems. Number three is the big crowd of contenders ahead of him. His second-biggest problem: Since he left office in 2006 the Republican Party has run away from his social positions, veering quite far to the Right. His number 1 problem? No one knows who he is anymore.

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Santorum Crusade Commences

May 28, 2015

Santorum Crusade Commences

On Wednesday afternoon in the little Palestinian Pennsylvania town of Bethlehem Butler, a Republican savior was born. That’s right, Rick Santorum has declared that he’s running to be the 2016 GOP candidate for President.  He was accompanied by his well-heeled apostle, multi-millionaire Foster Friess.

“I’m really going to have an uphill battle ahead of me,” Mr. Santorum told the money changers in a Tuesday fundraising email, “All the way up Calvary.” Okay, maybe we imagined that last part, but the man sure felt martyred by the 2012 contest, and this Second Coming will be even more trying. This time around there are plenty of other contenders for the hearts, souls, wallets, and votes of the Theocratic Republican faithful.

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