How to Fix Everything

Like any 21st Century city, Washington DC has  problems issues. City Paper asked some of our favorite local smartasses thinkers (including Lydia DePillis, Tyler Green, Elahe Izadi, Richard Layman, and Matthew Yglesias) how to resolve them.

“How to Fix Everything,” Washington City Paper

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-h7X

Image (“American Repair Kit”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Dan Snyder Stops Embarrassing the NFL

Dan Snyder, billionaire owner of DC’s professional football team, has withdrawn his harassing lawsuit against the Washington City Paper, which had the audacity to print facts leading to the inevitable conclusion that Mr. Snyder is a monumental jerk. The fact that his suit clearly violated the District of Columbia’s anti-SLAPP law might have had something to do with this action.

Now if Mr. Snyder would only change the racist name of his team, and they would win a few football games, the town might have a team it could be proud of.

Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-b6l

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Snyder Suit SLAPP-Down

The ACLU wants to slap Dan Snyder with a penalty. That’s Dan Snyder, millionaire owner of DC’s NFL team, and SLAPP, as in Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation. A SLAPP is a rich man’s bludgeon, used to suppress criticism or other actions by pesky peons who lack the financial resources to fight back. In this case, a critical sportswriter in DC’s weekly alternative newspaper. Mr. Snyder first filed his SLAPP in New York, then re-filed in the District of Columbia.

But DC has an anti-SLAPP law, as the ACLU just reminded him. Some other folks noted that, too, and signed on to the ACLU’s amicus brief: D.C. Councilmember Mary M. Cheh (a law professor), National Public Radio, Public Citizen, the American Society of News Editors, the Society of Professional Journalists, the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, WJLA-TV 7, and WUSA-TV (Channel 9).

Dan Snyder’s Favorite Sport

Anyone familiar with professional sports in the Nation’s Capital knows that Dan Snyder, millionaire owner of that losing NFL team with the racist name, obviously cares nothing for football.  So what does he like?  Suing the bejesus out of anyone who prints anything justifiably critical of his actions, even a little local weekly with a newstand price of zero.

Mr. Snyder has announced that he is re-filing his lawsuit:

“Why I am suing Washington City Paper,” Dan Snyder, Washington Post

Washington in Austin

The South By Southwest (SxSW) festival is over, so now it can be told: some Washington DC bands were actually there. Others stayed away, echoing Yogi Berra: “Nobody goes there, it’s too crowded.”

Meet the bands here. 

More: “Photos: What D.C. Looked Like at SXSW,” Erica Bruce, ArtsDesk, Washington City Paper.

 

Image (“Washington Band Crossing Lake Austin, after Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Team Embarrasses DC; Owner Shames NFL

Let’s say you are the billionnaire owner of a professional sports team in the Nations Capital and its name is a racial slur. Let’s say your ownership has been marked by losing seasons, bad personnel decisions, and ill-treatment of fans. So what do you do? Sue publications that point these things out. Channel 9 sportscaster Brett Haber reacts:

 

Flash: Online News Team Trade-Ups

Mike DeBonis, Washington City Paper’s “Loose Lips,” is moving to the Washington Post. His WCP farewell is here. Jason Cherkis is temporarily pinch-hitting at the LL position. Is Mr. Cherkis sufficiently compulsive to aggregate the Loose Lips Daily morning link-fest? Dunno. He only tweets a dozen times a day ….

Former temp-Washingtonian Alex Pareene is moving from Gawker to Salon.  Pareene (like Zorro, he goes by one name) spent 18 months as editor of Wonkette. Will he turn the snark down at Salon? Can he? Should he?

 

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Marion Barry Observes Cell Phone Courtesy Month

July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, and no one celebrates it like Ward Eight Councilmember Marion Barry. In conjunction with that paragon of proper deportment, Mike DeBonis of the Washington City Paper,  former DC  Mayor Barry provides us with suave strategies for tricky digital ettiquette in situations unforseen by Cell Phone Courtesy Month founder Jacqueline Whitmore.

Ms. Whitmore’s Protocol School of Palm Beach provides executive ettiquette coaching to enhance personal and business relationships, but only Mr. Barry can show how to finesse females by phone after you have locked them out of your hotel room for not coming across during the historic 2008 National Democratic Convention.  For while candidate Barack Obama was telling delegates “Yes We Can,”  Donna Watts-Brighthaupt told Mr. Barry “No I won’t!” so he locked her out of their room at the Denver Crowne Plaza.

How does a gentleman atone for such a faux pas? Mr. Barry suggests sending gifts of government contracts in lieu of flowers.

Ladies: Ms. Watts-Brighthaupt suggests archiving your cell phone recordings.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Finale

From Andrew Beaujon at Washington City Paper ‘s City Desk blog:

JazzTimes died last week, but none of us noticed because it is about jazz.

Howard Mandel adds a coda; read more here,  here, and here.

 

Image (with JazzTimes tm logo) by Mike Licht (in B Flat, natch).
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Speedy … but ‘Smart’?

Not only is DC Mayor Adrian Fenty still using his city-owned Lincoln Navigator luxury SUV, but his well-publicized city-owned “Smart Car” is just another perk tossed to a well-paid aide.

Mike DeBonis at Washington City Paper discovered that the Mayor’s fuel-efficient “Smart Car” got a speeding ticket (via an automatic speed camera) while Hizzoner was driving, but mayoral assistant Veronica Washington seems to drive the trendy buggy home fairly regularly. Ms. Washington’s salary: $107,635. Cost of the “Passion” Smart Car: $18,000. Seems like she could afford one of her own.

In the Fenty administration, “Green Initiatives” must refer to the color of public money and the privileges it buys, not the environment.

 

Satirical image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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