Gaetz Ex-Girlfriend Talks to Federal Grand Jury

The ex-girlfiend of Florida Man and well-known congressional sleazebag Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1) testified to a federal grand jury investigating him on underage sex-trafficking and other charges. The young woman has been in talks for months with prosecutors about an immunity deal, NBC reports, hoping to avoid prosecution for obstruction of justice in return for testifying as to whether Gaetz paid a 17-year-old female for sex and violated a federal law prohibiting people for paying for prostitutes overseas. This testimony is seen as a sign that the grand jury is moving closer to indicting Trump idolator Gaetz.

More:

“Matt Gaetz’s ex-girlfriend testifies to grand jury in sex trafficking probe,” Marc Caputo, NBC News

Update:

“Matt Gaetz’s ex-girlfriend granted immunity before testifying in sex trafficking probe,” Michael Kaplan, CBS News

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Maria Butina Elected to Russian Parliament

Maria Butina — ex-convict,  NRA Lifetime Member, unregistered Russian foreign agent, AU grad student, Tai Chi fan, GOP sexy-time associate, and deportee — has been elected to Russia’s national legislature, the Duma. She’s not representing her Siberian hometown, but Kirov, presumably because it’s known as the City of Redheads.

While we do not know if she’s been congratulated by her US pals, who include GOP operative Paul Erickson, Trump campaign aide J.D. Gordon, NRA officials David Keene and Peter Brownell, she did get campaign donations from her American ex-lover, Trump-supporting former Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne.

More:

“After 15 Months in U.S. Prisons, She Now Sits in Russia’s Parliament,” Valerie Hopkins, New York Times

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Top image (“Maria ‘Natasha Fatale’ Butina, after Jay Ward and Alex Anderson“) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Shocker: Matt Gaetz Marries Adult Woman

Florida Man and well-known congressional sleazebag Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1) took a break from dodging a Justice Department inquiry into underage sex trafficking and traveling across state lines with a married woman to wed 26-year-old Ginger Luckey, merely 13 years his junior, in California. The couple met last year at Mar-a-Lago, of course. The bride markets preservatives you spray on fruits and veggies, and the goateed Gaetz brother-in-law founded a virtual reality company. As to the rest of family, his new sister-in-law called Mr. Gaetz a weird and creepy pedophile.

Congressman Gaetz wanted an Elvis imitator to officiate, but settled for former Rand Paul staffer and Trump fundraiser Sergio Gor, who has the power to marry people because he’s a Libertarian minister or something. It was a small ceremony on Catalina Island. In lieu of gifts, send weird conspiracy theories via Twitter, if you’re not banned.

More:

“Matt Gaetz, Republican in sex-trafficking investigation, marries in California,” AP via The Guardian

“’Trump Was an Inspiration for Me’: Matt Gaetz Tries to Shift the Focus With a MAGA Romance,” Abigail Tracy, Vanity Fair

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Matt Gaetz Youth Outreach

Last week saw reports that Congressman Matt Gaetz (R, FL-1) is being investigated by the Department of Justice for transporting a 17-year-old woman across state lines for purposes of sex, and conveniently paying for it by cellphone. There are receipts. No doubt Mr. Gaetz will justify his actions as a triumph of Free Market Capitalism. Luke Ball, the Gaetz communication director, resigned on Friday.

Here’s a list of fellow Republicans defending Matt Gaetz:

1.
2.
3.

You get the idea. Matt Gaetz is a well-known creep, even among fellow Trumpian bottom feeders, known for showing nude photos of his sexual conquests on the floor of Congress. One of his videos depicted a nude young lady with a hula hoop. There are reports he participated in similar acts when he was a member of Florida’s legislature,

Fact: Matt Gaetz was the only “no” vote on the 2017 human trafficking bill.

More:

“Matt Gaetz Is Said to Face Justice Dept. Inquiry Over Sex With an Underage Girl,” Michael S. Schmidt, Katie Benner and Nicholas Fandos, New York Times

“‘A 10ft pole is not long enough’: Matt Gaetz isolated in sex-trafficking scandal,” The Guardian

“Republicans Have Been Waiting for a Matt Gaetz Scandal to Break,” Matt Fuller and Sam Brodey, Daily Beast

“The Matt Gaetz Sex Scandal Has It All!” Ryan Bort, Rolling Stone

“Matt Gaetz Is Maybe Even More of a Creep Than We Knew,” Vivian Kane, The Mary Sue

“8 Wild Things You May Have Forgotten About the Florida Man Ensnared in Congress’s Latest Sex Scandal,” Daniella Byck, Washingtonian

Updates:

“Gaetz Desperately Fought to Keep Sharing ‘Revenge Porn’ Legal, Says Ex-Colleague,” Jamie Ross, Daily Beast

“Katie Hill: Matt Gaetz backed me but he must quit if nude-photo reports are true,” Martin Pengelly, The Guardian

“Stelter: After elevating Gaetz, Fox News barely covering scandal,” CNN

“John Oliver calls Matt Gaetz ‘the one white man on Earth that Tucker Carlson won’t defend’ during ‘Last Week Tonight’ segment,” Sarah K. Burris, Raw Story, via Orlando Weekly

“Rep. Matt Gaetz Fundraises Off Teen Sex-Trafficking Probe,” Sam Brodey, Daily Beast

“Trump and his allies abandon Gaetz,” Gabby Orr, Meridith McGraw, and Sam Stein, Politico

“Republicans Seem to Have Lost Matt Gaetz’s Number,”  Reic Lutz, Vanity Fair

“Women’s Group Taps ‘Fearless Leader’ Matt Gaetz to Headline Upcoming Event,” Blake Montgomery, Daily Beast

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Jerry Falwell Jr. Sues Liberty U. for Damaging His Non-Existant Reputation

Trump-backing, pistol packing attorney Jerry Falwell Jr., once President of Liberty University by grace of God being fathered by university founder Jerry Falwell Sr., recently stepped down as head of LU, world’s largest evangelical diploma mill, following revelations of sexual scandal involving Falwell Jr., his wife, and a hotel pool boy. Liberty University’s code of honor holds that sex outside of “biblically-ordained marriage” is a ticket to Hell, and the disgraced Mr. Falwell slunk away with a mere $10.5 million separation package. 

His sexual shenanigans shredded what was left of Liberty University’s reputation after his shady real estate deals, low-quality online courses, and 2016 endorsement of Donald Trump, but Junior now says he is the injured party after the seamy sex scandal and the university board’s independent investigation of his dubious business operations. Mr. Falwell claims this reputational damage means he can no longer pose as a righteous Christian on the holier-than-thou circuit, or even on morally-challenged Fox News. He’s suing the university for alleged damages.

Fiddlesticks. It’s not as if Mr. Falwell’s current situation leaves him with no viable career alternatives. Liberty U is in Lynchburg, Virginia, an area short on entertainment alternatives, and “Jerry Junior’s” would be a great name for a topless bar.

More:

“Falwell sues Liberty, saying school damaged his reputation,” Sarah Rankin and Elana Schor, Associated Press

“Jerry Falwell Jr. sues Liberty University over reputation damage,” Justine Coleman, Thr Hill

Related:

“How Falwell Kept His Grip on Liberty Amid Sexual ‘Games,’ Self-Dealing,” Maggie Severns, Brandon Ambrosino, and Michael Stratford,, Politico

“Sex, Lies, And Regret: Giancarlo Granda Reels From Eight Years With The Falwells,” Josh Kovensky, Talking Points Memo

“A Trump executive order set the stage for Falwell’s political activities,” Maggie Severns, Politico

Updates:

“Falwell drops defamation lawsuit against Liberty University,” Associated Press

“Jerry Falwell Drops Lawsuit Against Liberty University,” TalkingPointsMemo

“Jerry Falwell Jr. spent heavily on Trump, GOP causes with funds from nonprofit Liberty University,” Peter Weber, The Week

“‘They All Got Careless’: How Falwell Kept His Grip on Liberty Amid Sexual ‘Games,’ Self-Dealing,” Maggie Severns, Brandon Ambrosino, and Michael Stratford, Politico

“Falwell’s Liberty University-Funded Think Tank Relentlessly Pushing Trump Fraud Claims, Says Report,” Jamie Ross, Daily Beast

“In final years at Liberty, Falwell spent millions on pro-Trump causes,” Maggie Severns, Politico

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Anthony Weiner Gets Top Job

Disgraced sleazoid and former congressman Anthony Weiner (aka Carlos Danger) has a new top job. That’s right, he’s working for a Brooklyn kitchen countertop company. Wait, you’re gonna eat off of that? Like Mr. Weiner, the countertop materials are recycled.

In case you forgot, Donald Trump, a great judge of character, donated to Anthony Wiener’s 1997 city council campaign and 2007 and 2010 congressional campaigns.

More:

“Anthony Weiner piecing together shattered life as CEO of broken glass factory,” Reuven Fenton and Bruce Golding, NY Post

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The Falwell Legacy at Liberty University

Trump-backing, pistol packing attorney Jerry Falwell Jr., President of Liberty University by grace of God being fathered by university founder Jerry Falwell Sr., has stepped down as head of LU, the world’s largest evangelical Christian diploma mill. His exit last month followed revelation of sexual scandal involving Falwell Jr., his wife, and a hotel pool boy. Liberty University’s code of honor holds that sex outside of “biblically-ordained marriage” is a ticket to Hell, and students who practice it are automatically expelled. Mr. Falwell Jr. slinks away in disgrace with a mere $10.5 million separation package. 

An early endorser of Donald Trump in the 2016 campaign, Jerry Falwell Jr. forgave him for his adultery and other transgressions. “We’re all sinners, every one of us,” he said. “We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t.”

Under Junior’s leadership, LU prospered through shady real estate deals, low-quality online courses, and untold hundreds of millions in federal student loans. The university board has started an independent investigation of business operations under Falwell Jr.’s tenure.

More:

“Business partner of Falwells says affair with evangelical power couple spanned seven years,” Aram Rosten, Reuters

“‘She was the aggressor’: Former Liberty student alleges sexual encounter with Becki Falwell,” Brandon Ambrosino, Politico

“Jerry Falwell Jr., Trump’s early and effusive evangelical champion, lifted a president before his own fall,” Eugene Scott, Washington Post

“Liberty University investigating fallen president Jerry Falwell Jr.’s entire tenure,” Theresa Braine, NY Daily News

“My Final Farewell to the Falwells,” Larry Flynt, Daily Beast

Updates:

“Liberty tells staff to refrain from interacting with Falwell,” AP via WTOP News

“The Falwells, the pool attendant and the double life that brought them all down,” By Michael E. Miller and Sarah Pulliam Bailey, Washington Post

Related:

“A Trump executive order set the stage for Falwell’s political activities,” Maggie Severns, Politico

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Roy Moore Loses In Alabama

Roy Moore, defrocked judge, gun-slinging, theocratic, racist homophobe, and alleged child molester, came in 4th in Alabama’s GOP senatorial primary on Super Tuesday, losing his bid for a general election rematch with Democrat Doug Jones. So you won’t find Judge Moore in the U.S. Capitol in 2021, but he might be hanging out near Claire’s in Gadsden Mall.

More:

“Accused pedophile Roy Moore flames out in Alabama GOP Senate primary,” Matthew Rozsa, Salon

“At Least Roy Moore Won’t Be a U.S. Senator,” Zak Cheney-Rice, New York Magazine

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What Men Think About

“By means of a golf tally counter, 283 college students kept track of their thoughts pertaining to food, sleep, or sex for one week. Males reported significantly more need-based cognitions overall, but there was no significant interaction between sex of participant and type of cognition recorded. Therefore, although these young men did think more about sex than did young women, they also thought more about food and sleep.”

— “Sex on the brain?: an examination of frequency of sexual cognitions as a function of gender, erotophilia, and social desirability,” Fisher, Moore, Pittenger,  Journal of Sex Research 2012, via NCBI

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GOP-Boosting NRA Member Maria Butina Deported to Siberia

After spending 15 months at Florida’a least-luxurious resort, Trump Doral Tallahassee Federal Correctional Institution, the NRA Lifetime Member, unregistered Russian foreign agent, AU grad student, and GOP sexy-time associate Maria Butina was deported to Russia, landing at Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport en route to her hometown, Siberia’s Barnaul. At this time we cannot confirm the deportation and Siberian exile of Butina’s US pals, who include GOP operative Paul Erickson, Trump campaign aide J.D. Gordon, NRA officials David Keene and Peter Brownell, and Overstock CEO Patrick Byrne.

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Top image (“Maria ‘Natasha Fatale’ Butina, after Jay Ward and Alex Anderson“) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.