Archive for the ‘celebrities’ Category

Trump on SNL: For Once, The Donald Isn’t Funny

November 9, 2015

Trump on SNL: For Once, The Donald Isn't Funny

Donald J. Trump — reality TV star, education scammer, overgrown trust-fund baby and Republican presidential candidate — is often unintentionaly hilarious, but he wasn’t funny at all when he hosted Saturday Night Live last weekend. Ratings were good but the show was not:

“Trump’s sorry night on SNL: An overhyped bummer for us all,” Hank Stuever, Washington Post

“Donald Trump on ‘Saturday Night Live’: Not Hugely Entertaining,” Maureen Ryan, Variety


Trump: Born on Third Base

October 28, 2015

Trump: Born on Third Base

“’It has not been easy for me. It has not been easy for me. I started off in Brooklyn. My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars,’ Trump remarked. ‘I came into Manhattan, and I had to pay him back, and I had to pay him back with interest.'”

— “Trump: My dad gave me a ‘small loan’ of a million dollars,” Nick Gass, Politico

Trump père, Fred, left an estate worth $200 million in 1999, and son Donald, self-made man, inherited about $40 million of it.

“I’m running for office in a country that’s essentially bankrupt, and it needs a successful businessman.” — Donald Trump in Rolling Stone.

Donald J. Trump was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple. He isn’t rich because he’s a great investor. He’s rich because his dad was rich, because he likes to spend other people’s money, and because he enjoyed government incentives. But given that head start, just how successful has he really been?


Yogi, 1925 — 2015

September 25, 2015

Yogi, 1925 -- 2015
Baseball’s Lawrence Peter “Yogi” Berra – slugger (lifetime .285, 358 home runs, 1,430 RBIs), catcher, coach and manager, man of words and soft drink salesmandied Tuesday at the age of 90. He had played in more World Series games than anyone else, earned three Most Valuable Player awards, and played to 10 World Series wins.


Another Temp Job for Sarah Palin?

September 13, 2015

Another Temp Jpb for Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate and failed Fox News commentator, told CNN’s Jake Tapper she’d like to be Secretary of Energy in President Trump’s cabinet so she could dismantle the agency. Mrs. Palin is pretty good at demolishing things — look at what she did to John McCain’s presidential campaign.

Despite lack of evidence, Senator McCain thought Mrs. Palin knew lots about energy. The “Energy Secretary Palin” idea was first mentioned by Newt Gingrich during his 2011 quest for the GOP presidential nomination, probably to quash talk of putting her in the VP slot. And while Mrs. Palin has occasionally opined about abolishing the agency, John McCain suggested it as far back as 1994.

Sarah Palin is, quite literally, in bed with Big Oil — her husband Todd worked for BP in the North Slope oil fields of Alaska for 18 years and only resigned after his wife left the governorship. And back in the days of high-priced oil, royalty payments from Alaska oil and gas producers kept her state’s government running despite Governor Palin’s budget disasters.

But perhaps Mrs. Palin wants to abolish an agency she heads simply due to her proclivity for short-term jobs. She was appointed to her first state job on the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission in 2003 and quit after 11 months; elected Governor of Alaska, she assumed office in December 2006 and resigned in July 2009 after serving 20 months, much of that time spent on her failed vice presidential campaign. Sarah Palin was hired as a Fox News Commentator in 2010, dropped in 2012re-hired, and dropped again in 2015, and had reality TV shows on TLC  and the Sportsman Channel, both cancelled after one season.

What Mrs. Palin really knows about energy policy would fit on a “Drill-Baby-Drill” bumper sticker. She has no idea what the job involves and confuses it with the Bureau of Land Management (BLM). But Sarah Palin does have one prerequisite to be Secretary of Energy: Good Hair.


Donald Trump, Promise Keeper

September 6, 2015

Donald Trump, Promise Keeper

GOP presidential hopeful Donald Trump signed a loyalty pledge that he will support the official Republican Party presidential candidate and, if it’s not himself, he won’t run as a third-party candidate. Party loyalty means a lot to former long-time Democrat Trump, and a signed contract like that is surely sacred and binding to a man with three marriages and four bankruptcies.

And don’t worry, he’ll really get around to learning about foreign policy after his inauguration. It’s a promise.


“Donald Trump’s empty loyalty vow: Man with three marriages, four bankruptcies reportedly pledging fidelity to GOP,” Joan Walsh, Salon

“Is Trump’s Republican Loyalty Oath Legally Enforceable?” Jacob Gershman, Wall Street Journal Law Blog

“Will the real Donald Trump please stand up?” Timothy Noah, Politico


Paula Deen, Dancing Queen?

August 27, 2015

Paula Deen, Dancing Queen?

Disgraced former Food Network star Paula Deen tried to make her comeback with an online video network last year, but no one noticed. Now the 68-year-old is trying the last hope of has-been celebs, appearing as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars. We hear her moves are smooth as butter.


“Paula Deen Is Joining Dancing With the Stars, Y’all!” Tierney Bricker, E! Online

“Paula Deen’s Gonna Bust a Move on Dancing With the Stars,” Yesha Callahan, The Root

“So, How Uncomfortable Will You Feel Watching Paula Deen on Dancing With the Stars?” Taylor Ferber, VH1+


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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

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Tonight on Fox: Last Clown Standing

August 6, 2015

Tonight on Fox: Last Clown Standing
There’s a full evening of entertainment tonight. Fox News is premiering the new game show Last Clown Standing with celebrity contestants Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie, and John Kasich at 9:00 PM EDT.

The 5:00 PM pregame show is an undercard match featuring Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, and Jim Gilmore.

Avoid the Fox post-match spin commentary by tuning in to Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show at 11:00 PM EDT on Comedy Central.


The Pope’s Jumbotron

July 13, 2015

The Pope's Jumbotron

Pope Francis will address a Joint Session of Congress when he visits Washington DC on September 24, 2015. Since ticket demand greatly exceeds the capacity of the Capitol House Chamber, huge Jumbotron screens will be set up on the National Mall so tens of thousands of fans and the faithful can see and hear the Pope in real time.

After his Congressional speech, His Holiness will briefly address the crowds outside from the Capitol’s West Front while his Swiss Guards stand on the Capitol steps and fire T-Shirt Guns, pelting the throng with souvenir garb and  panini imbottito. Okay, they won’t, but they should, right?

After concluding his visit to Washington, Pope Francis will fly to New York so he can get a decent slice of pizza.


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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

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Dr Cosby’s Prescription

July 7, 2015

Dr. Cosby's Prescription

Bill Cosby’s 1960s stand-up comedy act had a family-friendly reputation, but that overlooks a routine where he described a teenage fantasy about slipping Spanish Fly, a legendary aphrodisiac, into women’s drinks.

In sworn court testimony from 2005 recently obtained by AP, the comedian admitted obtaining seven Quaalude prescriptions in the 1970s:

”When you got the Quaaludes, was it in your mind that you were going to use these Quaaludes for young women that you wanted to have sex with?’ lawyer Dolores M. Troiani asked. ‘Yes,’ Cosby answered ….'”

— “APNewsBreak: Cosby said he got drugs to give women for sex,” Maryclaire Dale, Associated Press.

William Henry Cosby received a Doctorate in Education, but seems to have confused it with Cliff Huxtable’s medical degree.

Quaaludes, the “date-rape drug” of the Disco Era, were made a controlled Schedule 1 drug in 1985. Bill Cosby made a public service announcement for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids in 1990.


Where Does Donald Trump Make his Suits? ¡Mexico!

July 6, 2015

Where Does Donald Trump Make His Suits? ¡Mexico!

“Donald Trump has had some nasty things to say about Mexicans lately. In the announcement of his 2016 bid for the US presidency, he called Mexican immigrants to the US criminals and “rapists.” Later, on Twitter, he added, “Mexico is not our friend. They’re killing us at the border and they’re killing us on jobs and trade.”

It seems to follow that Trump would disapprove of American companies manufacturing their goods in Mexico too, except that Trump apparently does it himself. A photo circulated on Twitter by BuzzFeed political reporter Adrian Carrasquillo shows a jacket from Trump’s clothing line bearing a ‘made in Mexico’ label.”

— “Guess where Mexico-bashing Donald Trump makes his suits,” Marc Bain, Quartz

The astute Mary Cummins notes that Donald J. Trump Collection suits are made in Mexico for Sheldon Brody’s Marcraft Apparel Group, which has offices in Trump Plaza. The Wall Street Journal found that their fabric quality was less than advertised.



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