Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Santorum Crusade Commences

May 28, 2015

Santorum Crusade Commences

On Wednesday afternoon in the little Palestinian Pennsylvania town of Bethlehem Butler, a Republican savior was born. That’s right, Rick Santorum has declared that he’s running to be the 2016 GOP candidate for President.  He was accompanied by his well-heeled apostle, multi-millionaire Foster Friess.

“I’m really going to have an uphill battle ahead of me,” Mr. Santorum told the money changers in a Tuesday fundraising email, “All the way up Calvary.” Okay, maybe we imagined that last part, but the man sure felt martyred by the 2012 contest, and this Second Coming will be even more trying. This time around there are plenty of other contenders for the hearts, souls, wallets, and votes of the Theocratic Republican faithful.

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Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

April 23, 2015

Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

Former Congresscreature and born-again Tea Party loon Michele Bachmann foresees that the Rapture is nigh. Ms. Bachmann told radio host Jan Markell that the End Times are being ushered in by that Antichrist, Barack Obama.

“We need to realize how close this clock is to getting towards the midnight hour. It’s just like the Bible forewarned: in the last days it will be like the beginning of birth pangs. In my opinion, we are far beyond the beginning of birth pangs. We’re moving far down into the process. For women who are listening to this show today, you know what I’m talking about. What it’s like to deliver a baby at the very beginning stages and then at the very end before the baby is born. All I can tell you as a mom who has given birth to five babies, the birth pangs are very close together, they are very intense now and we are literally watching month by month the speed move up to a level we’ve never seen before with these events. Barack Obama is intent, it is his number one goal, to ensure that Iran has a nuclear weapon. Why? Why would you put the nuclear weapon in the hands of mad men?”

— “Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is ushering in a baby called the Rapture,” Joanna Rothkopf, Salon

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Passover Seder: Greek Symposium?

April 3, 2015

Passover Seder: Greek Symposium?

The Haggadah (הַגָּדָה‎) is a Jewish text that sets forth the order of the Passover ritual meal, the Seder.

“There’s a reason the haggadah feels goyish: Formally speaking, it’s Greek. It’s a Judaicized version of a Greek genre called ‘symposium literature’. Plato loved the form. So did Xenophon. The symposium enshrined the most appealing traits of the Hellenic personality: conviviality, Epicureanism, a love of good conversation.”

–”Platonic Form,” Judith Shulevitz, Tablet Magazine

The ancient Greek symposium (συμπόσιον) was a drinking party; drinking four glasses of wine is a Passover obligation. Diners are supposed to recline while they do so, just like the Greeks.

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The Pope Loves Pizza

March 14, 2015

The Pope Loves Pizza

Pope Francis observed the second anniversary of his election on Friday by predicting he won’t be pope for long, just “four or five years.”  He doesn’t mind being pope, he told Mexico’s Noticieros Televisa, but he misses his freedom:

“The only thing I would like is to go out one day, without being recognized, and go to a pizzeria for a pizza.”

Attention American pizzaioli: His Holiness will visit the USA in September with stops in New York, Philadelphia, and DC, so clean out your ovens by the end of August.

There is speculation that Pope Francis has pizza on his mind since meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel last month, a year after she told him:

“Next time we will go into the piazza for a pizza.”

Frau Merkel, what a tease. She doesn’t call, doesn’t write ….

More:

“Pope Francis just wants to get pizza like a normal person,” Chris Perez, New York Post

Related:

“Pope Francis’ popularity extends beyond Catholics,” David Masci, Pew Research Center

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Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

March 6, 2015

Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

Scott Walker worships Ronald Reagan, which must be disconcerting to Mr. Walker’s minister father. Anyway, each year, on President Reagan’s birthday, Governor Walker eats Mr. Reagan’s favorite foodsmacaroni and cheese casserole, and red, white, and blue Jelly Belly jelly beans.

Scott Walker even got married on Ronald Reagan’s birthday. This surely makes for a very romantic anniversary dinner.

Governor Walker thinks that the most important foreign policy move of his lifetime was Reagan busting the air traffic controllers’ union. What? Hey, maybe he was thinking about all those international flights.

More: 

“Scott Walker loves Ronald Reagan more than seems humanly possible,” Andrew Prokop, Vox

“Scott Walker: Records show Soviets treated Ronald Reagan more seriously after he fired controllers,” Tom Kertscher, Politifact

“Scott Walker is a giant fraud: Reagan worship, bizarre religious beliefs, and the real story of his long crusade for 2016,” Jud Lounsbury, Salon

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Shortlink: http://wp.me/p6sb6-l07

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

Robot Religion

February 8, 2015

Robot Religion

“Artificial intelligence and autonomous robots should be encouraged to become religious, a US reverend has said.

Reverend Christopher Benek, associate pastor of Providence Presbyterian Church in Florida, believes advanced forms of artificial intelligence should be welcomed into the Christian faith.

‘I don’t see Christ’s redemption limited to human beings,’ Benek said in an interview with the futurist Zoltan Istvan. ‘It’s redemption to all of creation, even AI.’

‘If AI is autonomous, then we should encourage it to participate in Christ’s redemptive purposes in the world.'”

— “Florida pastor plans to convert robots to Christianity,” Anthony Cuthbertson, International Business Times

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Christmastime For the Jews

December 25, 2014

“Christmastime for the Jews,” a Robert Smigel stop-action animation featuring the voice of Darlene Love in a “Wall of Sound” production, from a  2005 Saturday Night Live episode (lyrics here).

Gut yom tov to all, and to all a good night.

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Corporate Person Builds Bible Museum in Godless DC

September 18, 2014

Corporate Person Builds Bible Museum in Godless DC

A well-known Corporate Person, Hobby Lobby, is building a Museum of the Bible in a former warehouse near the railroad tracks in Southwest DC. Once the Washington Design Center, it was built as the Terminal Refrigeration and Warehouse Company in 1923.

Museum plans call for completion in 2017. Expect a ballroom modeled after Versailles (mentioned in the New Testament, maybe?), a theater, a replica of Westminster Abbey, holograms, and a restaurant serving biblically themed meals. Oh, and some historic books and 40,000 artifacts from the Green Family collection.  The museum has the same advisor as the Creation Museum, where dinosaurs romp with cavemen.

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McDonnell Trial Soap Opera Continues

August 28, 2014

McDonnell Trial Soap Opera Continues

“The more that he describes his wife as crazy, then it begs the question of well, if your wife was crazy, why didn’t you stop her?” — Andrew Cowan, former federal prosecutor.

“But the fact is, is the juror thinking this guy is a cad, or been-there-done-that, ‘I have a wife just like that, I come home and this is all I hear?'” —  Attorney Barbara Van Gelder.

Quoted in:

“McDonnell’s ‘Crazy Wife’ Defense Is Totally Unprecedented,” Catherine Thompson , Talking Points Memo

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Bob McDonnell: Cad or Rotter?

August 25, 2014

Bob McDonnell: Cad or Rotter?

Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell testified on his own behalf last week in his corruption and bribery trial. The devoted husband and father of five of the 2009 gubernatorial campaign explained that all the unfortunate events in question could be blamed on his screaming lunatic harridan of a wife, Maureen McDonnell.

There’s no real political downside for Mr. McDonnell, who already lost any chance of getting women’s votes when he backed a vaginal probe clause in a proposed Virginia bill. On the other hand, what Real American Guy wouldn’t want to drive a Ferrari and own a Rolex and doesn’t blame stuff on his wife?

Right before the trial, Mr. McDonnell moved out of the house he shared with his wife of 38 years. He’s been living with his priest at the rectory of St. Patrick’s Church in Richmond. He’s probably thinking that, if the couple are convicted, he can claim sanctuary and Maureen can plead insanity.

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