Great Decisions 2009

Great Decisions 2009

In a bold move to fill the void in the news cycle left by Mark Sanford’s sudden attack of laryngitis, Sarah Palin announced her resignation as Alaska’s Governor.

As if we needed more proof  that she does not know the difference between campaigning and governing, Mrs. Palin explained she is quitting 18 months before the end of her term because she will not seek re-election. 18 months is more than seven times longer than it took her to lose the White House for the Republicans last year.

Theories on the real motivation for her resignation abound. Chief contenders:

She will host a new Surreality TV show in the fall and needs time to rehearse

Not having Sarah Palin to kick around anymore will reduce the high audience ratings she brought David Letterman and Saturday Night Live, punishing them

She will start a political communications consulting firm

Preparing to return to her first love, basketball

Five months of leadership by the nonentity she recruited as Lieutenant Governor will make Mrs. Palin’s dismal gubernatorial record look a bit better in comparison

More time to spend with her husband and attorneys, blocking investigations into the dubious funding of the construction of the Palin’s lakeside house

More time to spend with her husband and attorneys, blocking investigation into the dubious funding and construction of the Wasilla Sports Complex

More time to spend with her husband and attorneys, blocking investigation into abuses of power during her brief reign as Alaska’s Governor

 More time to spend with her husband and attorneys, blocking investigation into charges of witness tampering during her brief reign as Alaska’s Governor

More time to spend with her ghostwriters

More time to give chastity pledge training to Willow and Piper

Time to make lucrative personal appearences (Bob Shrum: ““She could make more in two weeks on just speaking fees than in the rest of her time as governor””). Mrs. Palin could even buy an  executive jet

More time to introduce and promote her personal fashion line, Feminine Fundamentals , and make cosmetics endorsement deals

More to come. 

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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2 Responses to “Great Decisions 2009”

  1. Sarah Palin’s Hamburger on the Hoof « NotionsCapital Says:

    [...] a wild game recipe from former Temp-Governor Sarah Palin: Caribou Hamburger. You know it’s fresh because you start grinding it while the [...]

  2. Palin Canceled by Fox News? « NotionsCapital Says:

    [...] Discovery Network canceled Sarah Palin’s Alaska after a single season, a half-season longer than she lasted as Alaska’s Governor. An attempt to sell another “reality” show [...]

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