Pixels to Ponder, 22 January 2009

• Perhaps we could re-define disease as “Terrorism” and fight it under provisions of the PATRIOT Act.
• Baby boomers who had cosmetic surgery don’t go to the movies anymore. They hate looking at young film stars and seeing that their old noses are back in style.
• The new president should immediately abolish Gatorade. Why does the government support idle critters? Damn gators should get off their lazy butts, catch something, and eat it.
• Most Americans have changed their minds and believe the scientific evidence that Global Warming is real. Now they want the government to stop those space aliens from causing it.

• A “Libertarian” is a moderate who has been audited by the IRS.
• Doctors can now prescribe an obesity patch. You put it over your mouth.
• Washington’s National Cathedral has an underground garage. Catholic churches have catacombs; Episcopalians have underground garages.
• The Toyota Prius hybrid has a new safety feature, pedals designed so Birkenstock sandals won’t get caught under them.
• Conclusive evidence of America’s need for publicly-funded mental health care: Talk Radio.

 

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