Pixels to Ponder, 22 January 2009

Pixels to Ponder

  • Perhaps we could re-define disease as “Terrorism” and fight it under provisions of the PATRIOT Act.
  • Baby boomers who had cosmetic surgery don’t go to the movies anymore. They hate looking at young film stars and seeing that their old noses are back in style.
  • The new president should immediately abolish Gatorade. Why does the government support idle critters? Damn gators should get off their lazy butts, catch something, and eat it.
  • Most Americans have changed their minds and believe the scientific evidence that Global Warming is real. Now they want the government to stop those space aliens from causing it.

  • A “Libertarian” is a moderate who has been audited by the IRS.
  • Doctors can now prescribe an obesity patch. You put it over your mouth.
  • Washington’s National Cathedral has an underground garage. Catholic churches have catacombs; Episcopalians have underground garages.
  • The Toyota Prius hybrid has a new safety feature, pedals designed so Birkenstock sandals won’t get caught under them.
  • Conclusive evidence of America’s need for publicly-funded mental health care: Talk Radio.


Image by Mike Licht, who claims ownership of the phrase “Pixels to Ponder,” so hands off. Cite “Mike Licht, NotionsCapitol.com” in quotations. “Pixels to Ponder” is an occasional feature of NotionsCapital. The previous issue is here.

 Got adages, aphorisms, apophthegms, axioms, bywords, catch phrases, Delphic wisdom. dicta, epigrams, gnomic devices, maxims, mottoes, platitudes, precepts, proverbs, sententious statements and witticisms of you own? Keep ‘em. We got plenty. Otherwise, comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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