Pixels to Ponder, 3 January 2009.

We begin 2009 with a new occasional offering in the spirit of the Greek Sages, King Solomon, Confucius, Voltaire, Mencken, S.J. Perlman, Lao Tsu, and Henny Youngman. If your New Year’s Resolution involves figuring out what (if anything) Twitter is good for, this may help.

• The most abused word in American English is “Affordable.”
• Associated Press says one out of four Americans didn’t read a book in 2007. Two out of four lied to AP or think TV Guide is a book.
• Celebrities are concerned about Global Warming. Brad and Angelina just adopted orphan polar bear cubs.
• Why Condi Rice  wears those boots: Skinny legs. There; we’ve said it. Cancel our subscription to GQ; we’re no gentlemen.
• The wages of sin is death (death-and-a-half for overtime).

• Stop all the blather about illegal aliens depressing wages; it’s the so-called “interns” who cause unemployment. Why aren’t all those trust-fund babies working  jobs without pay ostracized by people who need to earn a living? 
• The Department of Homeland Security should redefine disease as “Terrorism” and fund the US healthcare system. We need better healthcare; DHS needs a real mission.
•  Why doesn’t God give Reverend Ernest Angley a better toupee?

 

Image by Mike Licht, who claims ownership of the phrase “Pixels to Ponder,” so hands off. Cite Mike Licht, NotionsCapitol.com in quotations. Pixels to Ponder is an occasional series, so check back.

Got adages, aphorisms, apophthegms, axioms, bywords, catch phrases, Delphic wisdom. dicta, epigrams, gnomic devices, maxims, mottoes, platitudes, precepts, proverbs, sententious statements and witticisms of you own? Keep ‘em. We got plenty. Otherwise, comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.