Bird Watching

Dr. Miyoko Chu, an ornithologist at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, observed the behavior of Angry Birds and other mobile game avifauna at the behest of writer Jess Zimmerman. It turns out that real birds and swine are in conflict in Hawaii and Texas as well as in Angry Birds, more than 200 million birds a year are killed by US vehicles as in Crossy Road, and birds face challenges with the man-made environment like in Flappy Bird.

Naturally Ms. Zimmerman asked Dr. Chu why chickens cross roads. Her reply:

“I assure you, ornithologists don’t know the answer to that question, any more than they know the answer to why humans spend hours getting chickens to cross the road on our phones.”

More:

“We asked an Ornithologist to Factcheck Angry Birds — And the Results Might Surprise You,” Jess Zimmerman, Atlas Obscura

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Image (“Field Guide to Angry Birds”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Feathered Heroes of D-Day

On D-Day, June 6, 1944, the Allied forces invading Nazi-occupied Normandy made use of the latest electronic technology. So how did the Allies learn of the invasion’s progress? Carrier pigeon.

Gustav (pigeon ­NPS.42.31066) flew 230 miles across the English Channel from a ship off Normandy to carry home the first D-Day news. Paddy (pigeon number NPS.43.9451), an Irish-born RAF messenger pigeon, flew 230 miles across the Channel in four hours and fifty minutes with updates. Both birds were later awarded the Dinkin Medal for bravery, the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross. 32 birds received the Dinkin, an indication of the importance of these sturdy birds to the war effort. Try and remember that the next time their civilian cousins decorate your car.

Killer Kittycats

Domestic cats kill as many as 3.7 billion birds a year, according to a study led by a Smithsonian biologist. That’s about 15 percent of the bird population. They kill about half as many mice, voles and other small mammals annually. Not everyone is confident about these numbers, however, and it’s unclear how many of these killer cats are actually feral and aren’t anyone’s pets.

Clearly, our sweet house kitties are natural-born hunters, “snakes with fur.”  No need to kill them off, but letting pet pussycats roam outdoors is another matter. There are health reasons to keep cats indoors; now there are ecological ones, too.

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Cars Birds Love

A study commissioned by the British car service firm Halford’s has determined that birds prefer to poop on red cars. Want the cleanest car? Buy a green one or use this:

Bambi Must DIE!

“. . . wildlife managers slice intact forests into sunny woodlots that maximize the number of deer and the frequency of encounters between deer and hunters. Private landowners are encouraged by wildlife agencies to crisscross their forest acreage with tasty plantings of clover and wheat in support of what is now a burgeoning population of perhaps 50 million white-tailed deer — in some places as many as 75 deer per square mile.

Geese and Airplanes

Why do geese and airplanes collide?

“The biggest problem … has to do with the land surrounding airports. As a buffer to urban centers, most airports include a lot of undeveloped land around them. Hearty birds find this and use it as a refuge, depending on what plant, water and other natural resources are available.”

–“Why Do Geese and Airplanes Collide?” Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

And you thought it was because they’re both big things that fly around in the sky at the same time.

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When Penguins Attack!

While alleged Republican presidential candidate and disgraced former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich was in St. Louis pandering to the Gun Lobby, he visited the local zoo, as is his wont. He loves wild creatures, but apparently the feeling is not mutual. Mr. Gingrich was attacked by at least one savage Magellanic penguin (Spheniscus magellanicus), a fierce South American breed that stands a towering 24 inches tall and weighs a hefty dozen pounds, a mere 300 200 pounds less than Mr. Gingrich. We cannot confirm the rumor that the attacker was wrestled to the ground by an enraged Callista Gingrich.

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Government Grounds Migratory Mercenaries

American skies are safe once more after the U.S. Government stopped sorties of soaring mercenaries. Paid pilots, cross-dressing interspecies impersonators all, have been barred from the airways by the Federal Aviation Administration.

The pilots from the so-called Occupy Birdland Operation Migration Air Force have been grounded and forced to stop transporting helpless Grus Americana youngsters across state lines for breeding purposes. Nine of the sexual captives are being held incommunicado at Alabama’s Chassahowitzka Federal Detention Facility.

Turkeys of Doom!

Next Thursday, a turkey will be a welcome guest in most American homes, but don’t be fooled. Alive and free-range, Meleagris gallopavo is a danger to life, limb, and giblets. Wild turkeys are flying into windshields and killing motorcyclists on roads across the country. In Canada, too. A bird even tried to take out a sixteen-wheeler on I-75 in Kentucky.

And the big birds have politics. Turkeys hate the media as much as any Tea Party loon:

 

Pigeons: Smarter Than You Think

Pigeons are smarter than you think. Feral urban pigeons. Rock Doves, Columbia livia, aka “rats with feathers.”

French pigeons, anyway, les pigeons sauvages française de Paris.