Pixels to Ponder, 22 January 2009

• Perhaps we could re-define disease as “Terrorism” and fight it under provisions of the PATRIOT Act.
• Baby boomers who had cosmetic surgery don’t go to the movies anymore. They hate looking at young film stars and seeing that their old noses are back in style.
• The new president should immediately abolish Gatorade. Why does the government support idle critters? Damn gators should get off their lazy butts, catch something, and eat it.
• Most Americans have changed their minds and believe the scientific evidence that Global Warming is real. Now they want the government to stop those space aliens from causing it.

Pixels to Ponder, 3 January 2009.

We begin 2009 with a new occasional offering in the spirit of the Greek Sages, King Solomon, Confucius, Voltaire, Mencken, S.J. Perlman, Lao Tsu, and Henny Youngman. If your New Year’s Resolution involves figuring out what (if anything) Twitter is good for, this may help.

• The most abused word in American English is “Affordable.”
• Associated Press says one out of four Americans didn’t read a book in 2007. Two out of four lied to AP or think TV Guide is a book.
• Celebrities are concerned about Global Warming. Brad and Angelina just adopted orphan polar bear cubs.
• Why Condi Rice  wears those boots: Skinny legs. There; we’ve said it. Cancel our subscription to GQ; we’re no gentlemen.
• The wages of sin is death (death-and-a-half for overtime).