Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes to defending America’s vital power grid from home-grown terrorists. Known to experts as Sciurus carolinensis, these sly, suicidal saboteurs infiltrate transformer stations at will, denying thousands of loyal Americans their God-given right to power up their Chinese-made flat-screen TVs.
October 24, 2009, Fulton, MO: “”Squirrel causes power failure in Fulton on Saturday,” Fulton Sun.
October 19, 2009, Ogdensburg, NY: “Squirrel causes 8-hour outage,” Watertown Daily Times.
October 10, 2009, Chico CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Chico Enterprise-Record.
October 7, 2009, Anderson IN: “Squirrel blamed for power outage to southwest Anderson,” The Herald Bulletin.
October 7, 2009, Fredericksburg VA: “Squirrel Sparks Power Outage,” University of Mary Washington Bullet.
October 2, 2009, Glendale, CA: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Glendale News Press
September 30, 2009, Pekin, IL: “Squirrel causes power outage,” Pekin Daily Times.
September 29, 2009, Flint MI: “Power outage forces Flint hospital to outsource surgery Monday night,” MLive.com
September 17, 2009, Westfield, IN : “Squirrel causes power failure at Westfield substation,” Westfield Star.
September 15, 2009, Oak Ridge, TN: “”Squirrel causes Oak Ridge power outage,” Knoxville News Sentinel.
September 14 2009, Dickinson ND: “Power outage affects 828 MDU customers: Squirrel gets caught in electrical equipment.” Dickinson Press
September 3, 2009, Fort Gordon [Augusta], GA: “Squirrel causes post power outage, fire,” The Signal. (This U.S. Army base is “the largest communications-electronics facility in the free world”)
August 8, 2009, East Lansing, MI: “Squirrel deemed culprit in local power outages,” MSU State News.
June 13, 2009. Los Angeles (Hollywood!), CA: “Squirrel knocks out power to thousands,” L.A. Now.
June 1, 2009, Wilmington, NC: “”Squirrel gets blame for Wilmington power failure,” Wilmington Star News.
May 11, 2009, Erie Township, OH: “Erie Township power failure is blamed on a squirrel,” Toledo Blade.
March 25, 2009, Scappoose, OR: “Squirrel Disregards Electrical Safety, Causes Outage in Scappoose,” Columbia River PUD Newsletter
These anonymous terrorists have no respect for our flag or our traditions. They even stopped the NASDAQ Stock Exchange. What drives them? What is their motivation? We will probably never understand. But we have plenty of tactical and intellegence information on these home-grown monsters, and we certainly know what to do with them.
All we lack is the political will.
Are you listening, Mr. President, or has the power gone out at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com
Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.
Tags: electric power, environment, Homeland Security, humor, power grid, satire, squirrels, terrorism, utililities
NotionsCapital 
October 27, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Demand is one half of the universal economic equation. Fortunately the demand for intelligent energy change is greater the supply of unemployment benefits.
October 27, 2009 at 5:15 pm
[…] Mike Licht over at Notions Capital was kind enough to send me a link to a recent post of his that contains links to some amazing stories. Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it comes t… […]
October 30, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Great post! There’s clearly a pattern …
Maybe THIS is what they’ve been showing Congress during those classified Patriot Act hearings? “National Security Letters are a particularly vital tool against ‘lone squirrel’ terrorists….”
jon
October 30, 2009 at 3:28 pm
[…] Tip: NotionsCapital 0 Share and […]
October 30, 2009 at 11:01 pm
[…] Mike Licht, Terrorists Strike and U.S. Infrastruture, NotionsCapital (Oct. 24, 2009); Patrick Cronin, Mystery of Disappearing Flags Solved, […]
October 31, 2009 at 3:51 am
Their Partners in Crime are also attacking our Legal System in Goldsboro North Carolina ! ; A buck being chased by a pack of stray dogs caused trouble at the Wayne County Courthouse this morning, law enforcement officials say.
Blood splatter on the court- house atrium doors was the first thing some early visitors saw this morning, authorities said.
In the early morning hours, a pack of dogs had been chasing the male deer through the streets of Goldsboro, Sheriff Carey Winders said.
The dogs finally pinned the deer just outside the courthouse atrium doors facing John Street, where the buck was crippled by attacking dogs, Winders said.
Deputies arrived to find the male deer badly injured, and had to shoot the animal with a service revolver.
Because it was so near the courthouse doors, the buck’s blood splattered against the entranceway when the deer was shot, authorities said.
The sheriff said Animal Control officers with the Goldsboro Police Department responded early this morning to get the deer’s corpse.
Courthouse workers cleaned up the mess.
Winders said he did not know if the dogs chasing the deer had owners or were a pack of strays.
“We don’t know if they (the dogs) had owners,” Winders said. “They were just dogs running loose in the city.”October 28 2009
November 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm
[…] expert Bruce Schneier asks if cognitive bias conceals from us our real enemies? He refers us to Mike Licht, who writes: Despite billions spent on homeland security, the Obama Administration is Bush-league when it […]
November 2, 2009 at 3:14 pm
[…] just can’t seem to stop those darn terrorists. Category: Amusing, Interesting, or Appalling | Comment (RSS) […]
November 3, 2009 at 5:12 pm
[…] But alas we’re not targeting the actual terrorists. The ones who damage of power infrastructure and deny American citizen’s their God given right to life, liberty, and television. That’s right I’m talking about squirrels. […]
November 6, 2009 at 4:44 pm
[…] Full story here. […]
November 13, 2009 at 5:29 pm
[…] Terrorists Strike U.S. Infrastructure « NotionsCapital a few seconds ago from Gwibber […]
November 16, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Very funny. And very true. Great example of focusing on what we want and ignoring what’s staring us in the face. Like the guy who lost his contacts in the living room but looked for them in the kitchen – “because the light was better there”. Thanks for all the work compiling these links.
November 29, 2009 at 11:35 am
[…] air traffic control systems“, „cyber-intruders have probed our electrical grid“ (no, not the squirrel terrorists), “we’d have cadres of people who’d know how to do that”, “Military […]
September 23, 2013 at 12:04 am
[…] years now we’ve told you, and told you, and told you yet again about a repeated threat to America’s infrastructure. Now that the New York Times has caught […]