Paula Abdul Appointed to Obama Death Panel

Paula Abdul Appointed to Obama Death Panel

Entertainer Paula Abdul has been named to the Death Panel mandated under the new U.S. Healthcare Reform bill. We have been unable to confirm either of the facts in that last sentence, but that hasn’t stopped anyone else from making statements on the healthcare reform issue, either, so we’re going with it.

“Ms. Abdul is the perfect choice for this job,” said an unidentified government source. “She is leaving her prior post on the American Idol panel at considerable sacrifice due to her strong personal commitment to public service.”

According to the well-known medico-legal authority Mrs. Sarah Palin of Wasilla, Alaska, the Obama Death Panel will decide how she will next exploit her own family for the sake of publicity which “special needs” children and senior citizens will live or die.  This will lower medical bills for surviving Americans. Cast members of “Survivor” were unavailable for comment.

Looking through the legislation, however, we find no “Death Panel.” All we find is conventional language allowing patients to voluntarily decide on Advance Care options while they are well, and to discuss this matter with their own physicians if they wish. The only change is that Medicare would cover the costs of this counseling. Advanced Care Directives (Living Wills, Medical Power of Attorney) are legal in every state and the District of Columbia, but this can be made to sound really creepy by non-medical people of ill will.

Why would anybody confuse and distract public discussion with talk of nonexistent “Death Panels” and delay implementation of health system reform? You’ll have to discuss that with the controller of your own medical care, your health insurance company.

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here (unidentified government source picture here). Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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9 Responses to “Paula Abdul Appointed to Obama Death Panel”

  1. Lawrence E. Rafferty Says:

    Hilarious!
    Paula Abdul might have to decide her own fate when she gets on the “death panel”! She has been trending to the wacky side these last few years.

  2. Desidero Says:

    Go read Jake Tapper and you can figure out what the issue is – some of the writings of Rahm Emanuel’s brother. Now, I like Paula Abdul as a selection too (hope she doesn’t sleep with any of the contestants), but really, you don’t have to pretend you don’t know the issue.

  3. Mike Licht Says:

    Desidero wrote: you don’t have to pretend you don’t know the issue.

    The issue is fear-mongering. The doc’s articles (try the more recent ones) are about how to avoid giving people expensive treaments they don’t want, treatments that just prolong their suffering and bankrupt their families.

    That is why people should choose their own care options while they are still in good health, as reccomended under this 2003 (Bush era) federal report – nobody pretended the same policy was euthanasia then.

    The fear-monger is part of a “disinformation” campaign to confuse the public and delay passage of health reform legislation, so the destructive status quo, where your healthcare is decided by faceless insurance company bureaucrats, is stretched out as long as possible to maximize profits. The by-product of the Big Lie — people who should see their doctors for Advance Care Counseling but now will not. Who is being “evil” here? You decide.

  4. Source of “Death Panels” and Euthanasia Fears in Health Reform « The Daily HIT Says:

    [...] a less serious take on this most serious issue, click here. Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)British Medical Journal: Lifestyle Changes Could [...]

  5. Mike Licht Says:

    UPDATE: Sarah Palin’s “Death Panel” claim was examined by Pulitzer Prize winning PolitiFact and achieved their “PANTS ON FIRE!” rating.

  6. KVNU’s For The People » Paula Abdul Appointed to Obama Death Panel Says:

    [...] Notion’s Capital: [...]

  7. Jason Says:

    Well, I for one am glad that Paula will have work after American Idol. I was wondering what she was going to do. I feared she’d have to go on QVC and sell jewelry of perfume. But now she has a real job!

    If you’re interested in a series discussion about what’s really in the bill go here http://voices.washingtonpost.com/ezra-klein/2009/08/is_the_government_going_to_eut.html?hpid=topnews

    It’s a very interesting interview with Johnny Isakson, a Republican Senator from Georgia.

  8. snave Says:

    Well, I think it is sheer death to sit through any part of American Idol, so in my book, this appointment is perfect!

    And yes, that Politifact rating is indeed true! A good friend alerted me to that one today! And they are a fairly objective site (even if they seem to scrutinize the Dems about twice as hard as the Republicans… the GOP guys are shown to be telling half the truth only about half as much as the Dems are shown to.)

  9. Meeg Says:

    Oh! That’s why she quit Idol

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