Posts Tagged ‘zombie flu’

The New Terrorism: Zombies

October 16, 2010

When Zombies Attack!

U.S. Homeland Security forces are severely strained this weekend as zombies coordinate attacks across the country. The cause of this annual seasonal outbreak may be weaponized biohazards, caution epidemiologists, as they redouble their search to isolate a “Zombie Flu” virus.

This month saw attacks on Traverse City, Normal, Salt Lake City, Shreveport, Oakland, East Peoria, and Pittsburgh. Zombie Code Red alerts are posted for Morgantown, Dallas, Merced, Seattle, Panama City, and other U.S. cities. The global crisis threatens Glasgow, Rotorua, Toronto, and Sault Ste. Marie. Many cities observed World Zombie Day on October 10th to remember those killed by the Undead, and a commemorative opera has been commissioned.


Seasonal Health Threat: Zombies

October 30, 2009

Seasonal Health Threat: Zombies

This weekend will see a nationwide public health menace. 

Swine flu? Avian flu? No.

Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder, ZBSD. Zombie flu.

Don’t panic. The University of Florida has an emergency response plan.