Posts Tagged ‘White House’

White House Staff Vacancies

June 14, 2018

White House Staff Vacancies

The understaffed Trump White House keeps losing employees. There’s been a steady exodus ( Steven Cheung is the latest), and now we hear talk that Sarah Huckabee SandersRaj Shah, and even John Kelly are eyeing the exit.

But it’s getting harder to find experienced people to work in the Trump Administration. That’s why the White House HR Department is going to be at a Capital Hill Job Fair on Friday. Greetings, interns!

More:

“Trump White House advertises at a Hill job fair amid staff exodus,” Annie Karni, Politico

Related:

“Nation Not Sure How Many Ex-Trump Staffers It Can Safely Reabsorb,” The Onion

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Trump White House: Exit Only

March 14, 2018

Trump White House Staff Stampedes for the Exit

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was dismissed over Twitter. Over three dozen Trump staffers that have resigned, been fired, or been reassigned since Trump took office, an attrition rate of 43%, more than five times the rate of recent administrations. One-third of the White House staff has left. Add to that the countless holdover appointees who have left and the career diplomats and civil servants who escaped the chaos, and you have a government that’s been hollowed out. And you can guess the kind of people who would want to work for such a capricious and studiously uniformed (and uninformable) Chief Executive.

And remember, Trump only fired 15 people each year on The Apprentice.

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Obsequious Factotum Stephen Miller

January 10, 2018

Obsequious Factotum Stephen Miller

Right-Wing ideologue and Trump staffer Stephen Miller took umbrage last weekend  when CNN’s Jake Tapper wouldn’t let him hijack an interview to give a big, televised, wet kiss to a single viewer, Donald Trump. Mr. Tapper cut him off and called him “obsequious,” a “factotum.” Millions reached for Merriam-Webster. After years as a fawning neo-fascist toady, Stephen Miller (Steve Bannon’s typist) was recently promoted to obsequious factotum after writing the sulfurous Trump Convention speech.

Mr. Miller denied being escorted out of the CNN studios by security after the aborted interview,, despite evidence suggesting otherwise.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Moochy We Hardly Knew Ye

August 1, 2017

Moochy We Hardly Knew Ye
President Trump appointed Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci as his new Communications Director 12 days ago. A few days later the slick New York finance guy communicated to The New Yorker‘s Ryan Lizza by phone in an expletive-laced rant threatening other White House staff, especially Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, who soon resigned. Yesterday Anthony Scaramucci was fired by the new White House Chief of Staff, General John Kelly (Matt Taibbi had predicted this).

Mr. Scaramucci looks forward to spending more time with his … um, no.

Mrs. Scaramucci, 9 months pregnant, filed for divorce three weeks ago, citing her husband’s obsession with politics and Donald Trump as a factor contributing to their alienation. When she gave birth to his son last Monday, The Mooch was at the Boy Scout Jamboree in West Virginia with his true love, Donald Trump. In his defense, he did text his congratulations.

But don’t cry for The Mooch. He’s selling his 44% share in SkyBridge Capital, a move that will earn him $80 million. He’s selling the dubious outfit to a mysterious Chinese corporation.

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‘The Mooch’ Isn’t So Tough On White House Leakers

July 27, 2017

'The Mooch' Isn't So Tough On White House Leakers
Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci, President Trump’s new Communications Director, fired White House Senior Assistant Press Secretary Michael Short, the first shot in The Mooch’s campaign to fire all leakers. Mr. Short learned about his dismissal through a post on the Politico website. Politico learned about the matter through a leak from a guy named  Anthony Scaramucci who, as of this date, has not fired himself.

Of course, the biggest White House leaker is someone The Mooch can’t fire: Donald Trump, his boss.

A new government hire and a stickler for ethics, Mr. Scaramucci will divest his 44% share in SkyBridge Capital, a “sacrifice” that will earn him $80 million. He’s selling it to a mysterious Chinese corporation. Welcome to the Trump Administration.

More:

“Anthony Scaramucci leaked that he would fire a press aide, then complained about the leak,” Garet Williams, Vox

“Scaramucci Rails Against ‘Leaking’ Of Info That He Told A Reporter,” Matt Shuham, TPM Livewire

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Image (apologies to Matt Groening) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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The White House Lawyers Up

June 21, 2017

The White House Lawyers Up

President Trump hired a lawyer to help him with Trump-Russia investigations. In fact, he hired a whole bunch of lawyers. His vice president and son-in-law are hiring lawyers. Even the president’s lawyer has hired a lawyer.

Though four top law firms turned down the chance to represent Team Trump, this administration is creating lots of high paying jobs for DC lawyers.

Job Creation. Another campaign promise met.

More:

“White-collar lawyers see opportunity in Trump scandals,” Darren Samuelsohn and Andrew Restuccia, Politico

Update:

“Sessions Hires Attorney as Russia Probe Expands,” Daily Beast

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Trump White House: ‘Get Off the Sidewalk!’

May 4, 2017

Trump White House: 'Get Off the Sidewalk!
The sidewalk in front of America’s Executive Mansion, site of centuries of political dissent, has been permanently closed by the Trump Administration. That section of Pennsylvania Avenue was closed to traffic by a reluctant Bill Clinton after the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995.

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Trump’s Next Crisis: White House Easter Egg Roll

April 13, 2017

Trump's Next Crisis: White House Easter Egg Roll

The West Wing is in crisis mode. An absentee First Lady (and a Jewish First Daughter) means that the White House is woefully unprepared for the annual White House Easter Egg Roll next Monday. There are not enough event volunteers or enough commemorative wooden Easter eggs for the number of kids expected, and military bands will have to entertain the throngs since no celebrities have been booked. Come to think of it, military bands are a good idea. With more kids than eggs, having a few extra soldiers on the White House lawn may be an asset.

More:

“The Coming White House Egg Roll Catastrophe,” Martin Longman, Washington Monthly

“The Latest Test for the White House? Pulling Off Its Easter Egg Roll,” Julie Hirschfeld Davis, New York Times

Post-Egg Roll Update:

“Donald Trump’s White House Easter Egg Roll Was a Crazed Fever Dream of Awful,” Jack Moore, GQ

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Trump White House Seder

April 11, 2017

Trump White House Seder

On Monday night the Trump Administration held a last-minute Passover Seder at Mar-a-Lago the White House. The holiday commemorates the desperate flight of Jewish refugees from Egypt to Palestine with a symbolic meal of steak with ketchup. Attendees read from the Breitbart Haggadah, which surrounds the names of Moses and Aaron with triple parentheses. Guests of honor included Steve Bannon and Sebastian Gorka, and the Four Questions were read by Pepe the Frog. It was all very amazing, classy, fantastic, big-league, huge, super-luxurious, terrific, tremendous and unbelievable, and made Passover great again.

Update:

“Donald Trump Skips White House Passover Seder,” Alana Horowitz Satlin, Huffington Post

Related:

“The Kushner Family Passover Haggadah,” Terry Heyman, McSweeney’s

“The president as pharaoh? Trump is turning up in Passover seders.” Julie Zauzmer, Washington Post

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Alt-Right’s Bannon Ousted From National Security Council

April 5, 2017

Alt-Right's Bannon Ousted From National Security Council

Far-Right culture warrior Steve Bannon was bounced off the National Security Council yesterday as national intelligence director Dan Coats and Joint Chiefs chair General Joseph Dunford were to rejoin the grownups on the NSC principals committee. One rumor says Mr. Bannon was only on the NSC to babysit fellow lunatic Michael Flynn, who has since resigned. This move probably means a cleansing apocalyptic nuclear war is less likely the top US security strategy.

General H.R. McMaster, who replaced Mr. Flynn as national security adviser, is said to be behind the change. In a more puzzling move, two former Republican governors with no defense or foreign relations experience, U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley and Energy Secretary Rick Perry, were added to the principals committee. A sobering thought: Mr. Perry, who wanted to abolish the department he now heads, is in charge of the country’s nuclear arsenal.

Mr. Bannon still skulks through the corridors of power and may head a shady outfit called the Strategic Initiatives Group.

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