Posts Tagged ‘religion’

In Kentucky, They Really Believe in Marriage

September 3, 2015

In Kentucky, They Really Believe In Marriage

Rowan County Clerk Kimberly Jean Bailey Davis believes in marriage so much, she’s had four of them. She’s making news right now for denying same-sex couples the right to civil marriage, a violation of the U.S. Constitution she swore to uphold. Apparently God told Ms. Davis that it’s okay to violate her oath to Him as well as the 14th Amendment.

For Kim Davis, the Rowan County Clerk’s office must seem like the family business, since her Mom held it for 37 years. Like her daughter, she also swore not to “commit any malfeasance of office” and to “faithfully execute the duties of my office without favor, affection or partiality, so help me God.” The Deity will no doubt settle with Kim Davis later, but Federal District Court judge David L. Bunning will decide if she’ll be held in contempt of court.

As County Clerk, Ms. Davis is paid $80,000 a year to do her job; annual per capita income in Rowan County is $17,094. Unemployment is 6.3%, so there’s room for one more.

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Trump’s Favorite Book

August 31, 2015

Trump's Favorite Book

Donald J. Trump often says that the Bible is his favorite book, so interviewers were recently surprised when he could cite neither Chapter nor Verse. Of course, we already know that he’s not good with Numbers.

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The Pope’s Jumbotron

July 13, 2015

The Pope's Jumbotron

Pope Francis will address a Joint Session of Congress when he visits Washington DC on September 24, 2015. Since ticket demand greatly exceeds the capacity of the Capitol House Chamber, huge Jumbotron screens will be set up on the National Mall so tens of thousands of fans and the faithful can see and hear the Pope in real time.

After his Congressional speech, His Holiness will briefly address the crowds outside from the Capitol’s West Front while his Swiss Guards stand on the Capitol steps and fire T-Shirt Guns, pelting the throng with souvenir garb and  panini imbottito. Okay, they won’t, but they should, right?

After concluding his visit to Washington, Pope Francis will fly to New York so he can get a decent slice of pizza.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Santorum Crusade Commences

May 28, 2015

Santorum Crusade Commences

On Wednesday afternoon in the little Palestinian Pennsylvania town of Bethlehem Butler, a Republican savior was born. That’s right, Rick Santorum has declared that he’s running to be the 2016 GOP candidate for President.  He was accompanied by his well-heeled apostle, multi-millionaire Foster Friess.

“I’m really going to have an uphill battle ahead of me,” Mr. Santorum told the money changers in a Tuesday fundraising email, “All the way up Calvary.” Okay, maybe we imagined that last part, but the man sure felt martyred by the 2012 contest, and this Second Coming will be even more trying. This time around there are plenty of other contenders for the hearts, souls, wallets, and votes of the Theocratic Republican faithful.

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Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

April 23, 2015

Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is Bringing on the End Times

Former Congresscreature and born-again Tea Party loon Michele Bachmann foresees that the Rapture is nigh. Ms. Bachmann told radio host Jan Markell that the End Times are being ushered in by that Antichrist, Barack Obama.

“We need to realize how close this clock is to getting towards the midnight hour. It’s just like the Bible forewarned: in the last days it will be like the beginning of birth pangs. In my opinion, we are far beyond the beginning of birth pangs. We’re moving far down into the process. For women who are listening to this show today, you know what I’m talking about. What it’s like to deliver a baby at the very beginning stages and then at the very end before the baby is born. All I can tell you as a mom who has given birth to five babies, the birth pangs are very close together, they are very intense now and we are literally watching month by month the speed move up to a level we’ve never seen before with these events. Barack Obama is intent, it is his number one goal, to ensure that Iran has a nuclear weapon. Why? Why would you put the nuclear weapon in the hands of mad men?”

— “Michele Bachmann: Barack Obama is ushering in a baby called the Rapture,” Joanna Rothkopf, Salon

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Passover Seder: Greek Symposium?

April 3, 2015

Passover Seder: Greek Symposium?

The Haggadah (הַגָּדָה‎) is a Jewish text that sets forth the order of the Passover ritual meal, the Seder.

“There’s a reason the haggadah feels goyish: Formally speaking, it’s Greek. It’s a Judaicized version of a Greek genre called ‘symposium literature’. Plato loved the form. So did Xenophon. The symposium enshrined the most appealing traits of the Hellenic personality: conviviality, Epicureanism, a love of good conversation.”

–”Platonic Form,” Judith Shulevitz, Tablet Magazine

The ancient Greek symposium (συμπόσιον) was a drinking party; drinking four glasses of wine is a Passover obligation. Diners are supposed to recline while they do so, just like the Greeks.

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The Pope Loves Pizza

March 14, 2015

The Pope Loves Pizza

Pope Francis observed the second anniversary of his election on Friday by predicting he won’t be pope for long, just “four or five years.”  He doesn’t mind being pope, he told Mexico’s Noticieros Televisa, but he misses his freedom:

“The only thing I would like is to go out one day, without being recognized, and go to a pizzeria for a pizza.”

Attention American pizzaioli: His Holiness will visit the USA in September with stops in New York, Philadelphia, and DC, so clean out your ovens by the end of August.

There is speculation that Pope Francis has pizza on his mind since meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel last month, a year after she told him:

“Next time we will go into the piazza for a pizza.”

Frau Merkel, what a tease. She doesn’t call, doesn’t write ….

More:

“Pope Francis just wants to get pizza like a normal person,” Chris Perez, New York Post

Related:

“Pope Francis’ popularity extends beyond Catholics,” David Masci, Pew Research Center

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

March 6, 2015

Scott Walker Worships Ronald Reagan

Scott Walker worships Ronald Reagan, which must be disconcerting to Mr. Walker’s minister father. Anyway, each year, on President Reagan’s birthday, Governor Walker eats Mr. Reagan’s favorite foodsmacaroni and cheese casserole, and red, white, and blue Jelly Belly jelly beans.

Scott Walker even got married on Ronald Reagan’s birthday. This surely makes for a very romantic anniversary dinner.

Governor Walker thinks that the most important foreign policy move of his lifetime was Reagan busting the air traffic controllers’ union. What? Hey, maybe he was thinking about all those international flights.

More: 

“Scott Walker loves Ronald Reagan more than seems humanly possible,” Andrew Prokop, Vox

“Scott Walker: Records show Soviets treated Ronald Reagan more seriously after he fired controllers,” Tom Kertscher, Politifact

“Scott Walker is a giant fraud: Reagan worship, bizarre religious beliefs, and the real story of his long crusade for 2016,” Jud Lounsbury, Salon

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Shortlink: http://wp.me/p6sb6-l07

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Robot Religion

February 8, 2015

Robot Religion

“Artificial intelligence and autonomous robots should be encouraged to become religious, a US reverend has said.

Reverend Christopher Benek, associate pastor of Providence Presbyterian Church in Florida, believes advanced forms of artificial intelligence should be welcomed into the Christian faith.

‘I don’t see Christ’s redemption limited to human beings,’ Benek said in an interview with the futurist Zoltan Istvan. ‘It’s redemption to all of creation, even AI.’

‘If AI is autonomous, then we should encourage it to participate in Christ’s redemptive purposes in the world.'”

— “Florida pastor plans to convert robots to Christianity,” Anthony Cuthbertson, International Business Times

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Christmastime For the Jews

December 25, 2014

“Christmastime for the Jews,” a Robert Smigel stop-action animation featuring the voice of Darlene Love in a “Wall of Sound” production, from a  2005 Saturday Night Live episode (lyrics here).

Gut yom tov to all, and to all a good night.

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