John Ensign, U.S. Senator from Nevada (“The Whores & Gambling State”) has announced his resignation from Congress, despite earlier promises to see out the remainder of his term. The Evangelical Christian Republican, a confessed adulterer who slept with His Neighbor’s Wife, resigned to avoid an ethics investigation into the $96,000 payment of hush money he made to said Neighbor’s Wife, an employee and the wife of an employee.