Here Comes Donald Trump’s Personal Military Parade

Since impeachment proceedings have not yet commenced, a Joint Chiefs of Staff team is finally getting around to planning President Trump’s personal vanity military parade, now scheduled for Saturday, November 10th. It will be executed by the U.S. Military District of Washington, the Army command in charge of state funerals for former presidents, who are no doubt rolling in their graves.

November 10th is not quite Veteran’s Day, perhaps because Mr. Trump is not quite a veteran. He is a former New York Military Academy High School Cadet Captain, though he was removed from actual command duties due to shirking. Anyway, he wants a military parade, just like his best bud Kim Jong-un. There are still bone spurs snags remaining, since expenses like Secret Service and police overtime and risers, stands and barriers cannot be paid through the military budget, and the White House hasn’t made provision for them. As a money-saving measure, perhaps the reviewing stand can be limited to a single seat, since only one person wants this parade. 89 percent of Military Times readers think it’s a waste of time and money.

More:

“Planning for Trump’s military parade finally getting underway,” Courtney Kube, NBC News

“Trump’s military parade expected to cost nearly as much as ‘tremendously expensive’ canceled war games,” Ryan Browne, CNN

“For the cost of Trump’s military parade, we could get eight months of Mueller’s probe,” Philip Bump, Washington Post

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Top image (after Cadet Capt. Trump’s high school picture) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Pentagon May Solicit Funds For Trump’s Military Parade

President Trump has ordered a military parade in Washington DC on Veteran’s Day, one with “lots of military flyovers.” Since such a diversion of troops and equipment will cost up to $30 million that isn’t in the defense budget, the Pentagon is considering shaking down soliciting donations from patriotic citizens like, you know, Lockheed Martin, Boeing, and  Northrop Grumman.

More:

“Trump directs Pentagon to schedule military parade for Veterans Day,” Eliana Johnson, Politico

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Image (based on a 1964 yearbook photo) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Trump Wants His Own Parade

President Donald Trump (Capt., New York Military Academy High School, retired), who calls the U.S. military leadership “my generals,” has given those leaders their “marching orders.” He wants a parade. A big, magnificent military parade, bigger than the one in Paris on Bastille Day, with thousands of marching troops, flags and bands and military pomp, cannons and missiles and fighter jet overflights, with humvees and tanks and stuff. The parade would go down Pennsylvania Avenue, right past the Trump International Hotel (reserve your room now!), on July 4th. Or Memorial Day. Or maybe Veteran’s Day. It would honor our troops, our president, U.S. military might, our president, America’s proud military tradition, and our brilliant commander-in chief.

A Big League parade. Bigger than Macron’s. Bigger than Eisenhower’s. Bigger than Kim Jong-Un’s. Bigger than Putin’s, or Erdogan’s, or Mao’s, or Mussolini’s or that other guy’s. Oh sure, it would take U.S. troops out of training and take equipment off-line and cost tens of millions of dollars, and the tank treads would chew up DC pavement, but what a grand spectacle!

Inaugural Parade

Today’s 58th Inaugural Parade perfectly represents Donald J. Trump’s America — people from fewer than half of the 50 states will be participating. Mr. Trump, you may recall, was elected with only 46 percent of the vote.

Many of the marchers will be from police and military units, following compulsory orders. God help them, now that DJT is Commander in Chief. Appropriately, Virginia will be represented by Arlington’s Tragedy Assistance Marching Unit.

At least Mr. Trump didn’t get the tanks and missile launchers he wanted in his inaugural parade.

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Image (“Trump Triumphant, after an 1885 Varanasi painting”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Mardi Gras 2.0

New Orleans has all the urban problems of any American city — crime, poor education, no parking spaces, economic inequality —  and it’s still suffering the aftereffects of devastating Hurricane Katrina. But as the Crescent City celebrates Fat Tuesday, technology has solved one age-old problem:

You’re sipping Dixie Beer and watching the Mardi Gras parades but there’s nowhere to pee? Now there’s an app for that.

The Airpnp smartphone app directs you to nearby locations where, for a small fee, the business or homeowner will let you use the toilet facilities. Ninety percent of arrests along the French Quarter’s parade routes are for public urination, so it’s not a piddling matter.

More:

“AirPnP, an app helps find Mardi Gras rental restrooms: BBC report,” By Doug MacCash, Times-Picayune

“Inventive startups are changing the way New Orleans celebrates Mardi Gras,” Shannon Sims, Quartz

Top video: “Ain’t No Place to Pee on Mardi Gras Day” by Benny Antin, from the 1997 album Wild Linoleum. Lyrics here.

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Mardi Gras Saved by High Tech

New Orleans has all the urban problems of any American city — crime, poor education, no parking spaces, economic inequality —  and it’s still suffering the aftereffects of devastating Hurricane Katrina. But as the Crescent City celebrates Fat Tuesday, technology has solved one age-old problem:

You’re sipping Dixie Beer and watching the Mardi Gras parades but there’s nowhere to pee? Now there’s an app for that.

4th of July Parade, Capitol Hill

Cellphone shots of this morning’s Capitol Hill neighborhood parade on Barracks Row (8th Street SE).

God’s Trombones — UHOP Parade in DC

 

Experience an annual DC tradition from noon to 3PM on Saturday, May 29th: the 2010 United House of Prayer for All People Parade. UHOP church bands from several cities will march between “God’s White House” (6th & M Streets NW) and Logan Circle (Church founder Bishop C.M. “Daddy” Grace once lived at 11 Logan Circle). If you aren’t in the church-going habit, this a good chance to hear “God’s Trombones.”

If you live in Washington, you may have heard this lively “shout band” music without realizing it. Some young exponents of this musical tradition often play at Dupont Circle and other locations around town.

Parade route: From the House of Prayer (601 M Street NW), North on 6th Street, NW to S Street; West on S Street to 13th Street, NW; South on 13th Street, NW to Logan Circle; East on P Street to 7th Street, NW; South on 7th Street to M Street, NW; East on M Street to end at the House of Prayer.

More:

“Saturday at Logan Circle: UHOP Annual Parade,” Borderstan.com.

Matt Dunn’s slideshow from last year.

Church website (scroll to bottom and click on “History”). 

Couldn’t make the parade? Get the Smithsonian Folkways CD.

 Updates:

Tony Sciascia took some great photos of the 2010 parade, including this one.

 “Photos: Saturday’s UHOP Parade at Logan Circle,” Borderstan.com (slide show here).

 “Photos: Parade,” Matt Dunn, City Desk, Washington City Paper.

Top image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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