Cyclist Viola Brand dances her bike in a great room of Schloss Hohenheim, now the University of Hohenheim, Stuttgart, Germany. Music by Will van de Crommert.
“Due to the seemingly insurmountable evidence that Lance Armstrong participated in doping and misled Nike for more than a decade, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him. Nike does not condone the use of illegal performance enhancing drugs in any manner.
Nike plans to continue support of the Livestrong initiatives created to unite, inspire and empower people affected by cancer.”
Washington DC’s allegedly professional football team, the one with the racist name and the worst record in the NFL, has decided to stop embarrassing itself on the field and will now compete on the fashion runway. In a partnership with Portland-area couturier Nike, the oversized athletes will sport new designer ensembles as they lumber across your television screen this fall in a version of reality show America’s Next Top Model. Inexplicably loyal fans will want to compost their old replica team jerseys and buy new ones to profit billionaire team owner Dan Snyder, widely recognized as the worst owner in the NFL.
Related:
“Court Won’t Block State Vote on ‘Fighting Sioux’ Name,” Inside Higher Ed
The American Advent Season commenced on November 25th as faithful millions observed the solemn rites of Black Friday. Yesterday marked another ceremonial milestone, the annual Adoration of the Air Jordans. In the pre-dawn hours, reverent crowds assembled before great cathedralshopping mall doors for the ceremonial yelling, pushing, shoving and punching as clouds of spicy incense wafted through the air.