Trump Enthusiasts Respectfully Await Final Election Returns

In an historic display of good citizenship and patriotism, armed supporters of defeated candidate Donald Trump gathered at vote processing centers to dispute arithmetic and threaten election workers. God Save the Republic.

More:

“Faced with defeat, armed protesters in Arizona insist election stolen,” Mimi Dwyer, David Shepardson, Reuters

“Election officials worried by threats and protesters,” Nomaan Merchant and Tim Sullivan, Associated Press

“Philadelphia police arrest armed men allegedly heading to vote-counting center,” Cameron Jenkins, The Hill

“Increasingly normal: Guns seen outside vote-counting centers,” Tim Sullivan and Adam Geller, Associated Press

“‘It’s not over’: Trump supporters flock to state capitols after Biden victory is announced,” Susan Miller and Jordan Culver, USA Today

“The Next 2020 Election Fight? Convincing Trump’s Supporters That He Lost,” Miles Parks, NPR News

Updates:

“Philly Vote-Counters Getting Death Threats Because of Trump’s ‘Deranged’ Theories: Republican Commissioner,” Jamie Ross, Daily Beast

“Arkansas police chief resigns after calling for violence against Democrats,” Blake Ellis and Melanie Hicken, CNN

“Republican Philadelphia official responsible for vote counting says office getting death threats,”Dominick Mastrangelo, The Hill

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Image (“Trump Enthusiasts, after James Whale“) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Trump Triumphant in Nevada

Reality TV star, Las Vegas restaurateur, and sham “university” founder Donald J. Trump romped through the Nevada Republican Caucus yesterday. “We won with young,” he said, “We won with old. We won with highly educated. We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.”

Nevada Caucus

Iowa Democrats flipped a coin to break their caucus deadlocks, but today’s caucus is in Nevada:

“‘In these very limited circumstances where two or more presidential preference groups are tied for the loss or gain of a delegate, groups must each draw a single card from a deck of cards to break the tie. The high card determines the winner, and aces are high.’

The party will furnish each precinct location with an ‘unopened deck’ to be shuffled ‘at least seven times’ after extra cards, like jokers, are removed. If the two sides pull cards of the same rank, the winner will be determined by suit: spades are the highest, with hearts, diamonds and clubs — in that order — to follow.”

–“Nevada Democrats will break caucus ties with high-card draw,” Gregory Krieg, CNN

–“Here’s how the Nevada caucuses work,” Michelle Rindels, AP via PBS Newshour

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Image (“Nevada Caucus, after Cassius Marcellus Coolidge”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Gingrich Craps Out

Newton Leroy Gingrich, disgraced former Speaker of the House, lost the Nevada Republican Presidential Caucus on Saturday, a crap shoot won by Mitt Romney. The campaign of High Roller Gingrich is now $600,000 in debt.

Nevada draws 50 million tourists a year with its two famed industries, whores and gambling. Sadly for Mr. Gingrich, he’s losing the backing of Nevada casino owner Sheldon Adelson, and Nevada’s prostitutes voted for Ron Paul.

Related:

“Gingrich Backer Sheldon Adelson Faces Questions About Chinese Business Affairs,” Steve Huff, New York Observer

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John Ensign Ethics Report: Hot Off the Press

Adulterous Nevada Republican John Ensign resigned his U.S. Senate seat before the Senate Ethics Committee issued a report that would have led to his expulsion. The last time the U.S. Senate expelled a member: 1862.

The Ensign ethics report is out, so add it to your summer reading list. Some may think it’s not a romance novel, but Mr. Ensign’s web of deceit involved a long-term affair with His Neighbor’s Wife (an employee and spouse of an employee), which he covered up with hush money drawn from campaign funds.

John Ensign Breaks His Promise

 

John Ensign, U.S. Senator from Nevada (“The Whores & Gambling State”) has announced his resignation from Congress, despite earlier promises to see out the remainder of his term. The Evangelical Christian Republican, a confessed adulterer who slept with His Neighbor’s Wife,  resigned to avoid an ethics investigation into the $96,000 payment of hush money he made to said Neighbor’s Wife, an employee and the wife of an employee.

Sharon Angle: Want Answers? Elect Me First.

Once again, Nevada Republican Sharron Angle has demonstrated her unique grasp of the issues and the electoral process. When Las Vegas reporter Nathan Baca asked her about national security policy and a Nevada military base, she replied: “I’ll answer those questions when I’m the Senator.”

Mrs. Angle also added this bit of foreign policy wisdom: “You know, the two wars that we’re in right now is exactly what we’re in.”

Sharron Angle Defends USA From Muslim Invasion!

“… we’re talking about a militant terrorist situation, which I believe it isn’t a widespread thing, but it is enough that we need to address, and we have been addressing it.”

“My thoughts are these, first of all, Dearborn, Michigan, and Frankford, Texas are on American soil, and under constitutional law. Not Sharia law. And I don’t know how that happened in the United States. It seems to me there is something fundamentally wrong with allowing a foreign system of law to even take hold in any municipality or government situation in our United States.”
— Sharron Angle, Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate.

Sharron Shills on Fox News

 

Sharron Angle at a recent party:

“… here’s the deal: when I get a friendly press outlet — not so much the guy that’s interviewing me — it’s their audience that I’m trying to reach. So, if I can get on Rush Limbaugh, and I can say, “Harry Reid needs $25 million. I need a million people to send twenty five dollars to SharronAngle.com.” The day I was able to say that [even], he made $236,000 dollars. That’s why it’s so important. Somebody … I’m going on Bill O’Reilly the 16th. They say, “Bill O’Reilly, you better watch out for that guy, he’s not necessarily a friendly” … Doesn’t matter, his audience is friendly, and if I can get an opportunity to say that at least once on his show — when I said it on Sean Hannity’s television show we made $40,000 before we even got out of the studio in New York.”

Alex Pareene:

“So, again, Fox News is the communications arm of the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party. The fun part is that even when Bill O’Reilly does his “I’m just an independent” thing and actually questions a Republican, all his viewers hear and see is ‘send this woman money.'”

 

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Sharron Angle: Privatize Social Security

Nevada Republican senatorial candidate Sharron Angle wants to privatize Social Security and trust Wall Street with seniors’ retirement funds. After all, says the Tea Party favorite, Chile’s right-wing dictator Augusto Pinochet did it.

We are not sure if General Pinochet shared Ms. Angle’s views on abolishing the Department of Veterans Affairs and Medicare, but both approve of juntas. 

 

Hat Tip: Alex Pareene.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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