Ivanka Retooling for White House Exit Strategy

Presidential Advisor, sweatshop shmata merchant, book marketer, multimillionaire wife, nanny-hiring mother, retail brand and former runway model Ivanka Trump is also an hôtelièr, earning millions by renting out rooms in a publicly-owned building her Dad’s company leases in Washington. Recently, she became an administration employment coach, urging the 30 million Americans who lost jobs during the pandemic to “Find Something New,” implying that their rich daddies can find them something.

Facing her own unemployment, Ivanka is looking for “Something New” herself, possibly a reality TV show. Good choice. she’s been a cast member of the White House reality show for the past four years.

More:

“What will Ivanka Trump do next? Probably try hard to stay in the public eye,” Arwa Mahdawi, The Guardian

“Goodbye, Ivanka,” Dahlia Lithwick, Slate

Related:

“Ivanka Trump obsessed with status, says former friend in tell-all essay,” Rory Carroll, The Guardian

“Six Things We Learned About Ivanka Trump From Her Ex-BFF’s Vanity Fair Essay,” Mimi Montgomery, Washingtonian

“Ivanka Boldly Highlights Trump Administration’s Big Pandemic Success,” Brian Kahn, Gizmodo Earther

“Ivanka Trump Applies for Job as Biden’s Daughter,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

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Top image (Ivanka’s book-like object) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Son-In-Law-In-Chief Kushner Reassures Us About COVID-19

Back in April, the Secretary of Slim Suits, Trump son-in-law, and Senior Advisor to the President Jared Kushner, fresh from bringing peace to the Middle East, was running a shadow task force on COVID-19. He called the Trump Administration’s coronavirus response “a great success story” on MAGA-friendly Fox & Friends.

It turns out he also told Bob Woodward the reason for this great success:

“There were three phases. There’s the panic phase, the pain phase and then the comeback phase. That doesn’t mean there’s not still a lot of pain and there won’t be pain for a while, but that basically was, we’ve now put out rules to get back to work. Trump’s now back in charge. It’s not the doctors. They’ve kind of — we have, like, a negotiated settlement.”

Taxpayers Paid $77,000 So Trump Jr. Could Murder Mongolian Sheep

“Donald Trump Jr.’s eight-day trip to Mongolia last August was controversial, not least because he was awarded a permit to hunt an endangered argali sheep after he had already killed one. He also had a private meeting with Mongolian President Khaltmaagiin Battulga, a month after Battulga met with President Trump in the White House, and he was traveling with a major Republican donor, ProPublica reported. Also, taxpayers spent nearly $77,000 on Secret Service protection during the trophy hunting expedition, the watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington reports, citing updated Freedom of Information Act requests.

— “Taxpayers spent $77,000 on Donald Trump Jr. Mongolia sheep hunting trip, Secret Service receipts show,” Peter Weber, The Week [emphasis added]

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Jared Kushner: Trump Coronavirus Policy a ‘Great Success’

Secretary of Slim Suits, Trump son-in-law, and Senior Advisor to the President Jared Kushner, fresh from bringing peace to the Middle East, is now running a shadow task force on COVID-19. Yesterday, the day when U.S. coronavirus deaths exceeded the number of Americans killed during the entire Vietnam Conflict, he called the Trump Administration’s coronavirus response “a great success story” on MAGA-friendly Fox & Friends.

“I think that we’ve achieved all the different milestones that are needed. So the government, federal government, rose to the challenge and this is a great success story. I think that’s really what needs to be told.”

Mr. Kushner, whose shadow task force is composed of fellow coronavirus profiteers, was the genius who told President Trump that COVID-19 was nothing to worry about, resulting in federal government inaction during January and February, when intervention would have saved thousands of lives.

More:

“Kushner calls the coronavirus response in US ‘a great success story,'” Savannah Behrmann, USA Today

“Trump and Kushner Engage in Revisionist History in Boasting of Success Over Virus,” Peter Baker, New York Times

“Insiders describe Kushner as ‘de facto president’ who played key role in delaying coronavirus closures: report,” Morgan Gstalter, The Hill

Related:

“White House Shop Sells the Gift No One Asked for: $100 COVID-19 Commemorative Coins,” Rachel Olding, Daily Beast

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Trump Jr. Murders Mongolian Sheep, Gets Pardoned

Donald J. Trump Jr. bought an exotic hunting expedition to Mongolia at an NRA charity auction and traveled there last summer with five of his closest friends Secret Service agents. Trump Junior, ever the sportsman, went hunting at night with a laser-sight-equipped rifle and shot an argali sheep.

The argali sheep is a rare endangered species. Mongolia allows a few argali to be shot every year, but hunters need special permits. When he murdered that Mongolian mutton, Donald Trump Jr. did not have a permit. If Hunter Biden had done that, he’d be in Gants Khudag Police Detention Center in Ulaanbaatar. For some reason, Junior got a permit retroactively after he met with Mongolia’s president, His Excellency Khaltmaagiin Battulga.

More:

“Donald Trump Jr. Went to Mongolia, Got Special Treatment From the Government and Killed an Endangered Sheep,” Jake Pearson and Anand Tumurtogoo, Pro Publica

“Donald Trump Jr. Benefits From Nepotism in Foreign Country by Shooting Endangered Animal,” Matt Stieb, New York Magazine

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Ivanka Trump Earns Millions From a Rented Government Building

Presidential Advisor, sweatshop shmata merchant, and former runway model Ivanka Trump is also an hôtelièr, renting out rooms in a publicly-owned building her Dad’s company leases in Washington. Last year Ms. Trump earned $4 million from her hotel side-hustle.

More:

“Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner made as much as $135m last year,” Bernard Condon, AP, via The Guardian

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Top image (Ivanka’s book-like object) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Jared Kushner Is In Mexico for Spring Break

Jared Kushner, Senior White House Advisor, is in Mexico today to meet with President Enrique Peña Nieto and Foreign Minister Luis Videgaray about security, immigration and trade. Mr. Kushner knows all about security, having just had his Top Secret security clearance revoked, and knows about immigration from selling U.S. EB-5 visas to wealthy foreign investors. Jared Kushner learned about foreign trade by marrying Chinese shmata importer Ivanka Trump.

Presidents Trump and Peña Nieto were scheduled to meet in Washington, but Mr. Peña Nieto canceled his DC trip after a phone call with Mr. Trump, who continues to demand Mexican money for a border wall and menace the NAFTA agreement. The U.S. Ambassador to Mexico, career diplomat Roberta S. Jacobson, who has announced her May 1 resignation, was not invited to Kushner’s Mexican meetings.

More:

“Kushner to visit Mexico after Trump tirades, testy phone call,” Ana Isabel Martinez, Reuters

“Jared Kushner to Meet Mexico President Despite Losing Top-Secret Security Clearance,” Jessica Kwong, Newsweek

Updates:

“Kushner Meets With Mexican President, Underscoring Shift in U.S. Diplomacy,” Azam Ahmed and Nicholas Casey, New York Times

“Kushner meets with top officials in Mexico amid strained relations,” By Joshua Partlow, Washington Post

Related:

“Uneasy US-Mexico relationship will survive ambassador’s resignation — but just barely,” Pamela K. Starr, The Conversation

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Summer Intern Speaks Outside White House

New Jersey youngster Jared Kushner spoke to White House reporters Monday, claiming credit towards his Citizenship Merit Badge. He’s a good boy, say his counselors.

Every summer well-connected, rich white American youths who can afford to work without pay descend upon the Nation’s Capital. They serve a vital function, staffing federal government offices while our elected officials are playing golf at their private clubs. Inevitably, the inexperienced and unsupervised young folks get into trouble. Everybody just shrugs.

More:

“Kushner’s damning account: At the very least, he’s in over his head,” Jennifer Rubin, Washington Post

“Jared Kushner’s explanations on Russia reveal a man wholly unsuited to his job,” Ed Pilkington, The Guardian

“CNN analyst rips Kushner’s statement to shreds: He’s going to solve the Middle East but can’t fill out forms,” Eric W, Dolan, Raw Story

“Jared Kushner Blames Basically Everyone — Donny, His Assistant, His Tough Job — For the Russia Headache,” Emily Jane Fox, Vanity Fair

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