Rudy Lost His Law License

“Rudy Giuliani, former New York City mayor, has been suspended from practicing law in New York state for spreading lies about the election as a lawyer for former president Donald Trump.

In an order suspending Giuliani on Thursday, the appellate division of the New York Supreme Court that covers Manhattan wrote that it found ‘uncontroverted evidence’ that Giuliani ‘communicated demonstrably false and misleading statements to courts, lawmakers and the public at large’ to suggest that ‘victory in the 2020 United States presidential election was stolen from his client.’”

— “Rudy Giuliani Has Been Suspended From Practicing Law In New York”, Sarah Mimms, BuzzFeed News

More:

“Rudy Giuliani barred from practicing law in New York over election lies,” Sarah Betancourt, The Guardian

“Rudy Giuliani suspended from practicing law in New York,” Zachary Basu, Axios

“Americans Shocked to Learn That Giuliani Had Law License,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

Updates:

“Rudy Giuliani Is Still a Member of the DC Bar,” Marisa M. Kashino, Washingtonian

“The Ruling Suspending Giuliani’s Law License Is Kind of Hilarious,” Jeremy Stahl, Slate

“Rudy Giuliani suspended from practicing law in D.C. court,” Rachel Weiner, Washington Post

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Lindsay Graham’s Continuing Legal Education

Senator and Doctor of Jurisprudence Lindsay Graham, defending President Donald Trump against credible reports of abuse of power, addressed this arguement to the Great Court of Twitter:

In America you can’t even get a parking ticket based on hearsay testimony.

But you can impeach a president?

I certainly hope not.

— Lindsey Graham (@LindseyGrahamSC) September 28, 2019

Annotation was provided by a thoughful attorney with a frightful spouse, George Conway III:

It has been a while since you’ve practiced law, so let me help:

* @realDonaldTrump’s incriminating statements are binding admissions against him and are not hearsay under Federal Rule of Evidence 801(d)(2);

* Even if that were not so, the statements would be admissible … https://t.co/8eWOOjZUYy

— George Conway (@gtconway3d) September 28, 2019

Otisville Vacation

Business Notice:

Michael Cohen, Esq., former Executive Vice President of the Trump Organization, is relocating to the federal enclave at Otisville NY, in leafy Orange County, for a 3-year residency. Please refer all future Donald Trump obstruction of justice proposals to William P. Barr, 950 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20530-0001.

More:

“Michael Cohen, by Turns Lawyer and Witness, Becomes an Inmate,” Maggie Haberman, Ben Protess and William K. Rashbaum, New York Times

“As Cohen heads to prison, Trump is ensnared in more questions about possible illegal behavior,” Phillip Bump, Washington Post

“Hundreds of former prosecutors say Trump would’ve been charged with obstruction if he weren’t president,” Jacqueline Thomsen, The Hill

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How Much Do You Charge to Review Michael Cohen’s Documents?

In the case against Trump fixer and attorney Michael Cohen, federal judge Kimba Wood appointed Barbara Jones as special master to review the 12,543 pages of papers and 291,000 electronic files (from two phones and an iPad) the FBI seized from Mr. Cohen’s office, hotel room, and home. Ms. Jones reviewed all of them in 6 long days, identified 162 privileged items, invoiced for $47,390, and didn’t even bill for rubber gloves or barf bags.

That’s $700 an hour, because Big Law.

Michael Cohen’s attorneys will finish reviewing the documents on Friday, after which they will quit.

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Pantsless Pearson Spanked By the DC Bar

You may remember DC Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson Jr., who persistently but unsuccessfully sued a neighborhood dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants, which were later found. What was lost was Mr. Pearson’s lawsuit, as well as his position as a judge. Now the DC Bar’s Board on Professional Responsibility is finally considering disciplinary action over the 4-year-long, meritless claims crusade. The Board had rejected a 2016 hearing committee’s recommended 30-day stayed suspension, and now, 2 years later, proposes a 90 day suspension.

So, this is about a suit initially filed in 2005, decided in 2007, denied on appeal in 2008 and 2010, reviewed by the DC Bar disciplinary committee in 2016, and reconsidered by the Board in 2018. Bear in mind that Mr. Pearson claimed he was wronged in part because he didn’t receive the dry cleaner’s advertised “Same-Day Service.”

Oh, the dry cleaning store closed in 2007 due to the financial and emotional toll of the lawsuit.

More:

“Judge Who Sued Dry Cleaner For $54 Million Over Missing Pants About To Get Wedgie From Disciplinary Committee,” Joe Patrice, Above the Law

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Trump Wants Better ‘TV Lawyers’

Celebrity Apprentice star and U.S. President Donald Trump wants to mount a more powerful legal defense, according to the Washington Post:

“The president vents to associates about the FBI raids on his personal attorney Michael Cohen — as often as ’20 times a day,’ in the estimation of one confidant — and they frequently listen in silence, knowing little they say will soothe him. Trump gripes that he needs better ‘TV lawyers’ to defend him on cable news and is impatient to halt the ‘witch hunt’ that he says undermines his legitimacy as president.”

So, ‘TV Lawyers.’ But who? Rudy Giuliani is no Perry Mason, and Ben Matlock won’t leave Atlanta for DC.

More:

“Trump expresses need for better ‘TV lawyers’ to combat Mueller probe: report,” Joe Concha, The Hill

“It’s Probably Killing Trump That Stormy Daniels’ Attorney Is Attractive And Great On TV,” Michelangelo Signorile, Huffington Post

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The White House Lawyers Up

President Trump hired a lawyer to help him with Trump-Russia investigations. In fact, he hired a whole bunch of lawyers. His vice president and son-in-law are hiring lawyers. Even the president’s lawyer has hired a lawyer.

Though four top law firms turned down the chance to represent Team Trump, this administration is creating lots of high paying jobs for DC lawyers.

Job Creation. Another campaign promise met.

More:

“White-collar lawyers see opportunity in Trump scandals,” Darren Samuelsohn and Andrew Restuccia, Politico

Update:

“Sessions Hires Attorney as Russia Probe Expands,” Daily Beast

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Bye-Bye ‘Billable Hours’?

The District of Columbia has a higher concentration of lawyers than any other place in the known litigating universe, but the foundation of DC’s legal world may be crumbling:

“It has been criticized as inefficient, needlessly punitive, and susceptible to abuse. Law students are warned about it. Attorneys have called for its death and likened living under its regime to a ‘living hell.’ Still, the billable hour reigns.

But that may not always be the case, as shifts in the legal industry are forcing traditional law firms to reconsider their structures.

Firms that use billable hours make money by paying their associates flat salaries that come out to less than the combined hourly fees at which they’re billed out to clients. Then firms pocket the difference. This structure incentivizes them to hire many associates and work them extremely hard (which might account for why for “associate attorney” has been labeled the ‘unhappiest job‘). The billable-hour model only works, however, when firms are flush with business. During the recession, idle associates became dead weight, law firms orchestrated massive layoffs, and the model’s risks were exposed.”

— “Is the Billable Hour Obsolete?” Leigh McMullan Abramson, The Atlantic

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Texas Legislator: ‘Get That Fetus a Lawyer!’

Texas State Representative Matt Krause (R-District 93, Tarrant County) wants legal representation for fetuses, and has introduced a bill to that effect in the Texas House of Representatives. Rep. Krause was one of the first graduates of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University School of Law, and ran the Texas branch of Liberty Counsel, a “legal ministry” which, by a remarkable coincidence, is headed by a professor from the Liberty University School of Law.

More:

“New Texas Plan Would Assign Lawyers To Fetuses,” Tara Culp-Ressler, Think Progress

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There Are Only 8 Gazillion Billable Hours In A Year ….

“The billable-hour system is the way most lawyers in big firms charge clients, but it serves no one. Well, almost no one. It brings most equity partners in those firms great wealth. Law firm leaders call it a leveraged pyramid. Most associates call it a living hell.”