Boehner Called Cruz ‘Lucifer’ and Satanists Are Mad as Hell

Former House Speaker John Boehner called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh” Wednesday night. Senator Cruz took it pretty well, but not Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves:

“It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.”

More:

“Satanists are furious that Boehner compared Ted Cruz to the Dark Lord,” Bethania Palma Markus, Raw Story

“Satanists balk at Cruz comparison,” Mark Hensch, The Hill

“An exorcist told us how to rid Ted Cruz of Lucifer, just in case John Boehner is right,” Philip Bump, Washington Post

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John Boehner: The Long Goodbye

House Speaker John Boehner (R, OH-8) is on his way out the door with nothing to lose, so he negotiated a budget deal with the Democratic leadership and sent it to the House floor, where it was approved by 187 Democrats and 79 Republicans. It seems likely to pass the Senate and get inked by the president, giving Paul Ryan (R, WI-1), the likely incoming Speaker, two years of budget breathing room. Mr. Ryan publicly grumbled about the deal, to appease the bomb-throwers of the GOP Freedom Caucus, but he voted for it, since his staff helped write it. In any case, John Boehner has given Mr. Ryan a wonderful parting gift.

More:

“Boehner’s Swan Song: An End to the Fiscal Cliffs,” Jay Newton-Small, TIME

“Fresh starts as GOP taps new speaker, approves budget deal,” Erica Werner, AP via Washington Post

“John Boehner reshaped House, speakership with earmarks ban, new rules,” Stephen Dinan, Washington Times

“Boehner Reflects on Leaving ‘Lonely’ Job as US House Speaker,” Reuters via VOA News

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Boehner: ‘Bye-Bye. Sniff.’

After speaking with Pope Francis this week, House Speaker John Boehner (R, OH – 8) resigned. His Holiness only needs one more miracle to become a saint.

Seriously, Mr. Boehner gets major props for the pontiff’s visit to Congress, and he’ll go out on that high note. And there’s an understanding that his resignation means Congress won’t shut down the Federal Government on October 1st over … something-or-other.

John Boehner leaves the Speakership  — and Congress — at the end of October. House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R, CA-23) seems a shoo-in to replace him; expect a Republican roughhouse brawl to replace McCarthy as Majority Leader. Ohio Governor John Kasich will decide on the date of a special election to fill Mr. Boehner’s 8th District congressional seat.

John Boehner Finally Grows a Pair

House Speaker John Boehner (R , OH-8) finally spoke out about the right-wing groups pushing Republicans beyond the lunatic fringe, specifically the Club For Growth, Heritage Action, FreedomWorks and Americans For Prosperity. “These groups aren’t acting out of principle, and they’re not trying to enact conservative policies. They’re using you to raise money and expand their own organization,” he is said to have told his caucus.

“How John Boehner learned to stop worrying and hate the Tea Party,” Jon Terbush, The Week

“Boehner Attacks Again: Tea Party Groups Have ‘Lost All Credibility,'” Ian Schwartz, Real Clear Politics

“Don’t celebrate yet!: Why Boehner won’t really ditch the right-wing nutjobs,” Brian Beutler, Salon

“Boehner’s blasts: One more volley in the long GOP battle,” Dan Balz, Washington Post

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Congress: How We Spent Our Summer Vacation

The National Journal‘s Michael Catalini spent his summer vacation cataloging what legislative leaders did on theirs.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV): “Put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame!”

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY): Watched his aide Jesse Benton holding his nose.

Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-IL): Compiled an “Enemies List.”

Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX): Got put on the Enemies List of FreedomWorks.

House Speaker John Boehner (R, OH-8): Played golf with Donald Trump.

Whose Sequester Is It, Anyway?

It must be tough for Speaker of the House John Boehner (R, OH-8) to blame the Sequestration meat ax on President Obama when he voted for it. Moreover, the stupid budget deal is the unruly pet idea of that great GOP intellectual Paul Ryan (R, WI-1), Chairman of the House Budget Committee and failed Republican Vice Presidential candidate:

Pay Congress What It’s Worth. Nothing.

House Speaker John Boehner (R, OH-8) has put the 113th United States Congress on notice: No work no pay. Pass the budget or you won’t get a paycheck.

This is the same John Boehner who was House Speaker last year, during the 112th Congress, the least productive Congress in 60 years. So does this mean we can get our money back from that Do-Nothing Congress?

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All Asshat and No Cattle?

Republican Congressman John Boehner got heavy use out of a Republican gag recently:

“Remember when Ronald Reagan was president? We had Bob Hope. We had Johnny Cash. Think about where we are today. We’ ve got President Obama, but we have no hope and we have no cash.”

It’s almost funny the first time, but not to the daughter of Johnny Cash, singer-songwriter Rosanne Cash. She shared her outrage with a few hundred thousand close friends via Twitter:

 “John Boehner: Stop using my dad’s name as a punchline, you asshat.”

 Ms. Cash later expressed regret. Not for writing that, but for posting it on Twitter.

 

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Obama Wants to Kill your Grandma

Democrat health “reform” Nazis want to kill old people! It’s right there in their bill, Section 1233 of H.R. 3200. You want federal health care? Just sign off on your own compulsory euthanasia.

Who says? House Republican Leader John Boehner (R-OH) and Republican Policy Committee Chairman Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI) in a joint statement. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) said on the House floor that the bill would “force Seniors to be put to death by their government.”

Reality check: Section 1233 of HR 3200 allows doctors reimbursement for patient counseling once every five years on Advance Care Planning. It isn’t mandatory.