Posts Tagged ‘humor’

The Santa Claus Boogie

December 19, 2015

“The Santa Claus Boogie,” written by Steve Ripley, and performed by him with his group, The Tractors. The video was directed by Michael McNamara.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mFx

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To Heck With Ole Santa Claus

December 19, 2015

“To Heck With Ole Santa Claus,” written and sung by Loretta Lynn, the hit from her 1966 Country Christmas album.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mJa

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Santa Got Busted By the Border Patrol

December 18, 2015

“Santa Got Busted By the Border Patrol,” by Kevin Fowler. That second voice belongs to Ray Benson of Asleep at the Wheel.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mI1

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Santa Baby

December 17, 2015

“Santa Baby!” written by Joan Javits and Philip Springer. The original 1953 recording by Eartha Kitt, with Henri René and his orchestra.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mBe

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I’m Gettin Nuttin’ for Christmas

December 16, 2015

“I’m Gettin Nuttin’ for Christmas,” a novelty song written by Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett, recorded by Spike Jones and his City Slickers. The team of Tepper and Bennett wrote nearly 300 songs between 1945 and 1970, and they were recorded by artists from Guy Lombardo to Elvis.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mCc

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I Want Eddie Fisher for Christmas

December 15, 2015

“I Want Eddie Fisher for Christmas,” written by Joan Javits and Phil Springer, the pair who wrote “Santa Baby.” Recorded by Betty Johnson in 1954.

Eddie Fisher was a dreamy pop idol of the 1950s, Carrie Fisher‘s dad.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mC9

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I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

December 15, 2015

10-year-old Gayla Peevey of Ponca City, Oklahoma sings her big hit “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas,” written by John J. Rox (John Herring). Ms. Peevey’s 1953 recording of the song reached number 24 on Billboard. The clip above is from “The Ed Sullivan Show.”

Gayla Peevey official website.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-mBi

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

November 24, 2015

Turkey Carving Tips for Real Guys

Oh no! Despite reading Turkey Torching Tips for Real Guys you have a great big, fully cooked, deep-fried Thanksgiving turkey on your hands. You examine it minutely and discover there’s no little red zip tab to open so you can take out slices. What now?

That’s some big old avian cadaver you got there, buddy. There’s only one manly way to divvy it up. That’s right: chainsaw.

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Turkey Torching Tips for Real Guys

November 23, 2015

Turkey Torching Tips for Real Guys
The National Fire Protection Association claims “turkey fryers that use oil, as currently designed, are not suitable for acceptably safe use by even a well-informed and careful consumer.” Wimps! Thursday is Thanksgiving, when we give thanks for college football and a four-day weekend. That’s when Real American Men generate Code Orange air quality by incinerating poultry on the patio. Yeah, buddy!

Any pantywaist can cook on those SUV-sized natural gas, propane, electric, or gelignite-powered barbecue grills with all those fancy features (good subwoofers can help spread sauce evenly, though). Nah, let’s get ready to deep-fry us some turkey. Here’s how:

1. Put Fire Department on Speed-Dial. Keep your cell phone in your welding apron pocket. It is unwise to enter a flaming residence to use the telephone.

2. Purchase more equipment. You can never have enough Real Guy outdoor cooking gear. Buy some new stuff at Home Depot first. Forget about those electronic gizmos from Leading Edge, you can never read their LCD screens outdoors anyway. Williams-Sonoma? Isn’t that the California wine the wife likes?

3. Don’t forget the turkey. It should be big enough to bother messing with. Double-check to make sure you are not buying a goat or lamb.

4. Check interior compartment of poultry (note: light does not go on automatically; use your Maglite). Any paper-wrapped parcels inside will not contain Surprise Creme Filling. Remove; give to wife or cat. If the bird is frozen, use your Benz-0-Matic torch judiciously or the meat will be dry. At this point you may marinate the turkey in any fluid mixture as long as it contains beer.

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Geriatric Brits to Invade North America

April 2, 2015

Geriatric Brits to Invade North America

The British pensioners known as the Rolling Stones will visit sports arenas in the United States and Canada this summer. The elderly musicians are reissuing their classic 20th century gramophone recording, Arthritic Sticky Fingers. It’s the one with the cover by Andy Warhol (see the model here).

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