Posts Tagged ‘House Speaker’

Paul Ryan Wants Job Security, Weekends Off

October 22, 2015

Paul Ryan Wants Job Security, Weekends Off

Congressman Paul Ryan (R, WI-1), Chairman of the House Ways & Means Committee and former Oscar Myer salesman, has deigned to replace Rep. John Boehner (R, OH-8) as Speaker of the House under the following conditions:

  1. A Change in House Rules so that he can’t be removed as Speaker
  2. House Republicans need to vote the way he tells them to
  3. Weekends off so he can spend time with his family
  4. Reduction of the Speaker’s Republican Party fund-raising duties
  5. All GOP House Members must immediately read Atlas Shrugged and start P90X workouts

Okay, we lied about that last demand but Mr. Ryan’s GOP colleagues are choking on the rest of them, especially Items #1 and #2.  That goes double for the mysterious but powerful anarchists of the Freedom Caucus. No matter what you’ve heard, the Freedom Caucus didn’t quite endorse Paul Ryan as Speaker in a vote Wednesday night, and the real vote isn’t for another week, anyway. Plenty of time for FC members to reconsider and throw their typical fits of rage.