Vatican Defrocks Football

The sixth and last Clericus Cup  is underway, the annual  football contest between seminarians in the colleges of Vatican City. This will be the final year of the competition. Just as the championship series began, the Church and Sport Section of the Pontifical Council for the Laity gave the contest last rites, citing a decline in sportsmanship, a loss of mission, and the rise of naughty Latin chanting from the sidelines.

Berlusconi Celebrates Mussolini; Gal Pal Cashes In

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi commemorated the work of his predecessor, Prime Minister Benito Mussolini, in a ceremony at the Vatican yesterday. Mr. Berlusconi met with Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone to mark the anniversary of the 1929 Lateran Treaty establishing 109-acre Vatican City within Rome. That’s the same Cardinal Bertone who urged “everyone, especially those who hold a position of public responsibility […] to commit themselves to a more robust morality, a sense of justice and legality.” The two officials may have shaken hands, and it is unclear whether the Cardinal wiped his off afterwards.