‘Back Up, You Creep!’

Hillary Clinton’s book about the 2016 election, What Happened, will be released on September 12th, but excerpts from the audio book have emerged, none more interesting than her reflection on the October 9th debate in St. Louis when Donald Trump followed her around around the stage, looming over her:

“It was incredibly uncomfortable. He was literally breathing down my neck. My skin crawled.”

“What would you do? Do you stay calm, keep smiling and carry on as if he weren’t repeatedly invading your space? Or do you turn, look him in the eye and say loudly and clearly ‘Back up, you creep. Get away from me. I know you love to intimidate women, but you can’t intimidate me, so back up.’ “

FBI: ‘Oops!’

After throwing a political hand grenade into the last 10 days of the 2016 presidential election campaign, FBI Director James Comey says it was just a dud. This “oops!” came two days before the election.

On Friday, October 28th, Mr. Comey sent a letter to congressional committee chairmen — i.e., Republican politicians — vaguely associating Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton with emails found on a laptop belonging to well-known creep and  disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner. Mr. Weiner’s estranged wife is a long-time Clinton aide. On Sunday afternoon November 6th, FBI Director Comey revealed that the emails were inconsequential, like the ones the agency had already cleared.

Donald Trump spent the last week before the election capitalizing on innuendo the Comey letter allowed. Ever hear law enforcement officials say they can’t comment on an ongoing investigation? This is the kind of screw-up that policy is meant to avoid, tainting the reputations of people who are ultimately not charged.

Of course, 40 million Americans have already voted. We’ll never know many voted in the week after James Comey’s ill-advised letter. The damage is done.

More:

“FBI clears Clinton after round-the-clock review of new emails, Comey says,” David Lauter and Del Quentin Wilber, Los Angeles Times

“FBI Director Again Clears Clinton After Review of New Email Trove,” Chas Danner, New York Magazine

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2016 Election Becomes a Weiner Roast

The fate of the nation now depends on the undoubtedly unsanitary laptop of disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner (aka Carlos Danger). His estranged wife, foreign relations pro and Hillary Clinton advisor Huma Abedin, may have exchanged email with Secretary Clinton on that device. FBI Director James Comey decided to end his law enforcement career in absolute disgrace by revealing this vague detail of an ongoing investigation 11 days before the the 2016 presidential election.

The FBI doesn’t know if any emails on the computer are classified, or are duplicates of emails they’ve already cleared, but someone does: Donald Trump. The GOP candidate knows more about ISIS than the generals, so he knows more about what’s on that computer than the FBI does. In fact, Mr. Trump is so prescient and such a great judge of character that he donated to Anthony Wiener’s 1997 city council campaign and 2007 and 2010 congressional campaigns.

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Nasty Woman Is Winning Bigly

“Nasty woman.” — Donald J. Trump, October 19, 2016, Las Vegas

That was the most coherent statement made by the Republican presidential candidate at Wednesday’s pseudo-debate, the last such spectacle before Election Day ( vote on November 8th for Clinton, November 28th for Trump).

Within an hour of Mr. Trump’s comment, a quarter of a million tweets mentioned it, as women everywhere embraced “nasty woman” as a rallying cry for Clinton. Bigly.

More:

“‘Nasty woman is probably the coolest thing Hillary has ever been called,'” Fred Barbash, Washington Post

“’Nasty woman’ becomes the feminist rallying cry Hillary Clinton was waiting for,” Liz Plank, Vox

“‘Nasty woman’: Trump’s insult unites women across social media,” Martha Ross, Mercury News

“For Trump, the Election Is Rigged If a ‘Nasty Woman’ Can Win,” Amy Davidson, The New Yorker

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Hillary: Hot!

When Beyoncé  sang “got hot sauce in my bag, swag” white people asked black folks “is this a thing?” It is. When Hillary Clinton revealed the bottle of hot sauce in her own handbag, she was accused of pandering for the black vote. She wasn’t. She’s carried hot sauce around for years, and had 100 different brands in the White House when she was First Lady.  What brand is she packin’ these days? Ninja Squirrel Hot Sauce, from Whole Foods.

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President Hillary Will Release the Files — the X-Files

“When Jimmy Kimmel asked Hillary Clinton in a late-night TV interview about U.F.O.s, she quickly corrected his terminology.

‘You know, there’s a new name,’ Mrs. Clinton said in the March appearance. ‘It’s unexplained aerial phenomenon,’ she said. ‘U.A.P. That’s the latest nomenclature.’

Known for her grasp of policy, Mrs. Clinton has spoken at length in her presidential campaign on topics as diverse as Alzheimer’s research and military tensions in the South China Sea. But it is her unusual knowledge about extraterrestrials that has struck a small but committed cohort of voters.

Mrs. Clinton has vowed that barring any threats to national security, she would open up government files on the subject, a shift from President Obama, who typically dismisses the topic as a joke. Her position has elated U.F.O. enthusiasts, who have declared Mrs. Clinton the first ‘E.T. candidate.’”

–“Hillary Clinton Gives U.F.O. Buffs Hope She Will Open the X-Files,” Amy Chozick, New York Times

“Hillary Clinton’s UFO investigation plans unlikely to achieve liftoff, experts say,” Adam Gabbatt, The Guardian

“What Hillary Clinton Says About Aliens Is Totally Misguided,” Nadia Drake, National Geographic Phenomena

Hillary will Release All Secret Files — on UFOs

Clinton 2016 Campaign Chairman John Podesta told a Las Vegas interviewer that he has urged Hillary Clinton to declassify all government UFO files if elected, and the candidate is considering it. In fact, back in January Secretary Clinton herself told a New Hampshire reporter that Mr. Podesta “has made me personally pledge we are going to get the information out. One way or another. Maybe we could have, like, a task force to go to Area 51.” Extraterrestrials: we want them accounted for.

Why do otherwise serious politicos care about UFO sightings? The most-viewed declassified FBI document is the “Hottel Memo” about flying saucers.