Turkey Terror Stalks America’s Cities!

There’s a new gang terrorising the streets of Boston: Meleagris gallopavo. That’s right, wild turkeys are attacking people and vehicles, and the police do nothing. Thanks, Obama Trump!

Turkeys of Doom!

Next Thursday, a turkey will be a welcome guest in most American homes, but don’t be fooled. Alive and free-range, Meleagris gallopavo is a danger to life, limb, and giblets. Wild turkeys are flying into windshields and killing motorcyclists on roads across the country. In Canada, too. A bird even tried to take out a sixteen-wheeler on I-75 in Kentucky.

And the big birds have politics. Turkeys hate the media as much as any Tea Party loon: