Geese and Airplanes

Why do geese and airplanes collide?

“The biggest problem … has to do with the land surrounding airports. As a buffer to urban centers, most airports include a lot of undeveloped land around them. Hearty birds find this and use it as a refuge, depending on what plant, water and other natural resources are available.”

–“Why Do Geese and Airplanes Collide?” Jennifer Viegas, Discovery News

And you thought it was because they’re both big things that fly around in the sky at the same time.

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Bird-Killer ‘Sully’ Sullenberger Forced to Retire by Audubon Society

Pilot Chesley Burnett “Sully” Sullenberger III, infamous for an airborne goose slaughtering episode, retired Wednesday. Bird watchers claim the powerful Audubon Society pressured him to stop flying.

Captain Sullenberger has more leisure time now, and is expected to spend much of it hunting and roasting waterfowl. 

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Avian Aliens Down Jet

Invaders  from the North brought down US Airways Flight 1549, say investigators. The Airbus A320 aircraft, safely landed in the Huson River by Captain Chesney Sullenberger, was attacked by migratory elements of a Branta canadensis contingent that crossed the border from Canada.

Scientists analyzed samples of feathers and  pâté snarge the divebombers left in the aircraft engines, and DNA evidence indicates that the terrorist cell originated in Labrador or Newfoundland. Many theorists had posited a conspiracy of alien squatters, as millions of Canada geese have illegally settled permanently in the United States. When the attackers were identified as migratory foreigners, a great honk of relief emanated from America’s golf courses and cemeteries.

The news also recieved much attention in the Canadian media: