There is Law on ‘An Island In the Pacific’: Jeff Sessions is Amazed

Speaking on Mark Levin’s radio show, Attorney General Jeff Sessions addressed Hawaiian Federal Judge Derrick Watson’s order blocking President Trump’s latest ‘Muslim ban”:

“I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power.”

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III is clearly suggesting that Hawaii is not a real state.

As Martin Longman observes:

“… Hawaii is not only a series of islands in the Pacific, but it is the least white and most ethnically and racially diverse state in the country. That probably has at least a little to do with why a white conservative man from Alabama named after the former president of the Confederacy and the man who fired on Ft. Sumter doesn’t think it’s a legitimate part of America.”

— “Sessions Suggests That Hawaiians Aren’t Real Americans,” Martin Longman, Washington Monthly

Let’s Hear it for Good Old Nebraska

Judge Joseph F. Bataillon of the United States District Court for the District of Nebraska has issued an injunction ruling that Nebraska’s same-sex marriage ban is unconstitutional, and that as of March 9th, “all relevant state officials are ordered to treat same-sex couples the same as different sex couples in the context of processing a marriage license or determining the rights, protections, obligations or benefits of marriage.”

Nebraska Attorney General Doug Peterson has filed an appeal with the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals.

South Dakota Marriage Equality

U.S. District Court Judge Karen Schreier has ruled than South Dakota’s ban on same-sex marriage is in violation of the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the U.S. Constitution. “Plaintiffs have a fundamental right to marry,” wrote Judge Schreier.  “South Dakota law deprives them of that right solely because they are same-sex couples and without sufficient justification.” The judge stayed her ruling pending appeals, which SD Attorney General Marty Jackley has promised. The attorney for the successful plaintiffs intends to appeal the stay.

More:

“Judge strikes down South Dakota gay marriage ban,” Reid Wilson, Washington Post

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No Standing

On Monday United States District Judge Janet C. Hall ruled that the National Shooting Sports Foundation lacked legal standing to challenge Connecticut’s recently enacted firearms laws and dismissed its lawsuit. NSSF is the trade association representing the arms and ammunition manufacturers and dealers who profit from the sale of the high-capacity magazines and military-style weapons forbidden by the new gun laws, passed after the killing of 20 young children and  6 educators in Newtown, Connecticut. Newtown is also home to the National Shooting Sports Foundation.

On Wednesday, Newtown authorities released recordings of the 911 emergency calls from inside Sandy Hook Elementary School during the mass shooting of first-graders. The neighbors at the NSSF didn’t comment on that.

Dog vs. Dog

In 2009, Oscar Mayer ran an ad campaign claiming its Jumbo Beef Franks beat out Ball Park Franks in a national taste test. Ball Park Franks manufacturer Sara Lee countered by claiming that Oscar Mayer did not cook Ball Park wieners correctly during the tests and falsely stated that its Oscar Mayer tube steaks are “100 percent pure beef” when they are not.

Sara Lee is suing Kraft, accusing the rival firm of “willful, false, misleading, deceptive, defamatory, and unfair commercial advertising.” The suit has reached U.S. District Court in Chicago, and newspapers have been serving up hot, juicy puns:

Fish Rustlers Go to the Hoosegow

A Washington, DC fish wholesaler has been found guilty of buying rockfish from a gang of rustlers. A co-owner and a fish buyer will go to the pokey, and the company has been fined $875,000. The DC bass bandits were collared last December. The rockfish (Morone saxatilis or Roccus saxatilis), also known as the striped bass, is the state fish of Maryland. It was overfished for decades, and harvesting is tightly controlled.

A posse has been roundin’ up rockfish rustlers for some time. Convictions were based on investigations by a special task force of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Maryland Natural Resources Police, and the Virginia Marine Police between 2003 through 2007.

Court Strikes Down California Gay Marriage Ban

A federal judge has ruled that a California ban on same-sex marriage violates the due process and equal protection clauses of the U.S. Constitution. “Proposition 8,” the “California Marriage Protection Act,” had restricted marriages in the state to opposite-sex couples.

Excerpts from Judge Vaughn Walker‘s  136-page ruling: