Posts Tagged ‘embryos’

Unborn Caucus Scores Big on GOP Platform

August 22, 2012

Unborn Caucus Scores on GOP Platform

Acting on the medical advice of Todd Akin’s gynecologist, the Republican National Committee platform panel added a plank outlawing abortion, even in cases of incest, medical necessity, or “legitimate rape.”

You’d think Republicans would be busy crafting meaningful measures to fix the economy they broke instead of reviving the delusional policies they used to destroy it during the Bush administration. Yet here they are, a week before the GOP Convention, getting between women and their doctors instead. Why? The subversive influence of the Zygote Liberation Front, a Tea Party splinter group, which penetrated the GOP platform committee like an intrustive Virginia ultrasound probe.

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Okie Embryos Denied Personhood

April 21, 2012

Okie Emryos Denied Personhood

A bill to grant personhood to unborn Oklahomans tragically miscarried in the state’s House of Representatives this past Thursday. The legislation seemed perfectly viable in the State Senate two months ago, when it was passed 34 to 8, but the bill failed in caucus before it could become implanted on the House floor for a vote, and has been resorbed back into the body politic. Come to think of it, that’s just like the development of the vast majority of fertilized human eggs, which don’t lead to live birth.

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Unborn Virginians, Rejoice!

February 16, 2012

Unborn Virginians, Rejoice!

On Tuesday, the Virginia House of Delegates sent a Valentine to the Commonwealth’s fertilized human ova by granting them “Personhood.” If the bill passes the Upper House, perhaps impregnated women will be allowed to drive solo in the HOV+2 lanes.

The bill also neglects to state if the 80 percent of Virginia zygotes that do not result in human births will still remain “Persons.” Virginia is for Lovers, but apparently not for physicians, women, or rational human beings.

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Mississippi Votes ‘No’ on Unborn Personhood

November 9, 2011

Mississippi Votes 'No' on Unborn Personhood

In a stunning blow to the new-born Zygote Civil Rights movement, voters in Mississippi prevented conception of a new state law granting “personhood” and the rights and responsibilities thereof to fertilized human eggs, without regard to the citizenship status or age of the host mother’s ovaries and uterus. This sudden outbreak of good sense is surprising after the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision granting “personhood” to corporations, allowing them the free speech to purchase all the votes they can buy.

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