Next House Speaker: Dick Cheney?

House Speaker John Boehner is leaving, and neither Kevin McCarthy nor Paul Ryan wants the job.

Tea Party loon and freshman Senator Tom Cotton (R-AR) has a Speaker candidate: Former congressman, Secretary of Defense, Vice President, and unindicted war criminal Dick Cheney. There’s nothing in the rules that specifically says that the Speaker has to be a House member. Or a human being, for that matter.

More:

“Tom Cotton wants Dick Cheney’s ‘steady hand’ as House speaker,” Chad Merda, Chicago Sun-Times

“GOP Senator Wants Dick Cheney To Be Speaker Of The House,” Tierney Sneed, TPM Livewire

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Cheney: Okay, Iran Nukes ARE My Fault

Chris Wallace interviewed former Vice President and unindicted war criminal Dick Cheney on “Fox News Sunday.”

Chris Wallace: “You and President Bush, the Bush-Cheney administration, dealt with Iran for eight years. Iran went from zero known [nuclear] centrifuges in operation to more than 5,000. So in fairness, didn’t you leave — the Bush-Cheney administration — leave President Obama with a mess?”

Dick Cheney: “Well, I don’t think of it that way ….

Chris Wallace: “But the centrifuges went from zero to 5,000.”

Dick Cheney: “Well, they may well have gone but that happened on Obama’s watch, not on our watch.”

Chris Wallace: “No, no, no. By 2009, they were at 5,000.”

Dick Cheney: “Right, But I think we did a lot to deal with the arms control problem in the Middle East.”

More:

“Dick Cheney faces surprise accusation on his own foreign policy,” Tony Dokoupil, MSNBC

Dick Cheney: All Heart

Was it just last year that Papa Dick Cheney blessed the same-sex marriage of younger daughter Mary? It was a touching moment, love overcoming Republican dogma.

Then ambitious older daughter Liz Cheney decided to base her carpetbagger Wyoming senate campaign on opposition to same-sex marriage. “I do believe in the traditional definition of marriage,” she told Fox News. Sister Mary noted that Liz is “on the wrong side of History” in denying equality to all families.

And Papa Dick Chaney, a man who bucked the 2000 GOP platform and endorsed marriage equality? A man whose grandchildren have two mommies? Certainly he stayed out of a fight between his daughters, since he loves them both equally, right?

Wrong. He’s backing Liz. Expect an uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner at the Chaney house.

Wait a minute. Didn’t Dick Cheney mellow after he left office as Vice President and got a heart transplant? Nope. He’s flogging a book about that heart but won’t think about the donor: “It’s my new heart, not someone else’s old heart.”

Cheney Says Leaking His Secret Spy Legacy is Treason

Former Vice President, millionaire government contractor,  Satan spawn, and G.W. Bush puppet master Dick Cheney is the father of  U.S. telecom data-mining and warrantless wiretapping. He defended his secret surveillance legacy on Fox New Sunday:

“Well, I understand people’s concern about it, but an intelligence program that does reveal sources and methods, which in fact is what you’re talking about, is significantly less effective because you’re not just revealing it to the American people, you’re revealing it to your targets, to your adversaries, to the enemy.”

Dick Cheney Gets a Heart

Former U.S. Vice President and war criminal Dick Cheney had a cadaver’s heart put in his chest at Inova Fairfax Hospital last weekend. Think how many thousands would be alive today if he had had a heart while in office. We do not know if Mr. Cheney’s Medicare paid for the procedure but, unlike you, he was an oil industry robber baron and can probably pay cash.

Related:

“Vice President Dick Cheney Still Undead,” Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette

“Classical Music Boosts Heart Transplant Survival in Mice,” Tom Jacobs, Miller-McCune

 Heart Gelatin Mold, Archie McPhee

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Short Link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-cS2

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Cheney’s Secret Spy Program

The Central Intelligence Agency withheld information about a secret counterterrorism program from Congress for eight years on direct orders from former Vice President Dick Cheney, the agency’s director, Leon E. Panetta, has told the Senate and House intelligence committees, two people with direct knowledge of the matter said Saturday.

— “Cheney Is Linked to Concealment of C.I.A. Project,” Scott Shane, New York Times (more here)

Details of the CIA program remain secret; what has leaked is information about the former Vice President’s role in concealing the activities from Congressional intelligence oversight committees. This comes a day after inspector generals of five intelligence agencies reported that Mr. Cheney’s office restricted knowledge about a warrantless eavesdropping program of questionable legality, and the excessive restrictions diminished any usefulness the data might have had.