GOP Debate: 3-Way Race to the Bottom

Remaining Republican Party presidential candidates will mouth off face off this evening in Texas at the Houston Fat Stock Show University of Houston at 7:30 PM Central (8:30 PM ET). Senators Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz will get down in the mud with TV reality star, wrestling promoter, and frontrunner Donald J. Trump and grapple for the heavyweight GOP champeen belt. Comic relief will be provided by Governor John Kasich and hibernating retired surgeon Ben Carson. Sit down with some popcorn and watch on CNN, Telemundo, or CNN.com.

Marco Rubio has to score in tonight’s debate to get more voter attention. Conventional wisdom says a big loss in next week’s “Super Tuesday” primaries may be the swan song for Senator Rubio. Fittingly, tonight’s debate will be held in the UH Moore Opera House.

Quitter: Trump Debate No-Show

“Trump’s Misogynistic Meltdown,” Emily Arrowood, U.S. News & World Report

“Donald Trump Is Skipping the GOP Debate Because He Hates Women,” Jesse Berney, Rolling Stone

“CNN’s Carol Costello: If Trump ‘Cherishes Women,’ Why Does He Call Them Bimbos?” Alex Griswold, Mediaite

“Donald Trump has a problem with strong women,” Edward Luce, Financial Times

“Rand Paul: Donald Trump ‘Doesn’t Like A Strong, Assertive Woman,’” Andrew Kaczynski, BuzzFeed

“The sexism in Donald Trump’s latest swipe at Fox News’s Megyn Kelly,” Eric Wemple, Washington Post

“Fear of Women Is Key to Donald Trump’s Misogyny — and America’s,” Adele M. Stan, American Prospect

Related:

“Millions Resent Being Put in Horrible Position of Siding with Megyn Kelly,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

“How Donald Trump uses .political correctness. to make sexist bullying seem like heroism,” Amanda Taub, Vox

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Republican Debate: Race to the Bottom

At the 6th Republican Presidential Debate in Charleston, South Carolina, it was difficult to identify the real Donald Trump. All seven participants seemed to be angry and irrational, apparently the chief requirements for the GOP candidacy this year.

More:

“Fact Checker of Republican Debate Hospitalized for Exhaustion,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

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GOP Clown Car Careens Towards the Center Ring

Fox News has selected the contestants for Thursday’s Republican Presidential Primary ‘Debate’ event, aka “Beat the Trump.” The Donald will be joined by Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Chris Christie, and John Kasich at 9:00 PM EDT. You can also watch it on Facebook somehow.

Warm-up entertainment — provided by “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Bobby Jindal, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki, and Jim Gilmore — will commence at 5:00 PM EDT.

Fun for the whole family.

More:

“Clowns on the Campaign Trail,” Ian Burma, Project Syndicate

“Is game theory the key to success in the Republican presidential debate?” Alan Yuhas, The Guardian

“How to Win a 10-Person Debate,” Seth Masket, Pacific Standard

“The Undercard,” Ed Kilgore, Political Animal

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Curse You, Red Baron! Romney Blimp Crashes

Despite defensive maneuvers by the Tea Party Cavalry and artillery barrages from Koch Brothers battleships, Mitt Romney’s gas-filled airship tumbled from the skies over Boca Raton on Monday. Republican strategists blamed Soviet-inspired Sopwith Camels.

Donald Trump Cancels GOP Reality Show

Donald Trump, celebrity casino owner, beauty pagent producer, reality TV star, and part-time wanna-be politician, canceled his upcoming Las Vegas extravaganza, a GOP presidential debate starring not one but two candidates (not counting himself). Of all the dubious contenders for the Republican nomination, only Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum signed on.

Rather than staging a two-contestant reality show, The Donald (all together now) fired himself, cancelling the production. He says he did it so he can run for president himself. We think he did it so the television audience wouldn’t learn the answer to that age-old question,”What if Donald Trump threw a party and nobody came?”

On second thought, The Donald could have augmented the debate panel with his other celebrity chums. Certainly Charlie Sheen, Paula Abdul, or Paris Hilton can match the political wisdom of Mr. Trump and the moral integrity of Mr. Gingrich.

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Christine O’Donnell — As Seen on TV!

Last night GOP Senate hopeful Christine O’Donnell debated Delaware Democrat Chris Coons. The television audience gasped at Ms. O’Donnell’s grasp of Supreme Court issues: