Herman Cain has suspended his quest for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination in order to spend more quality time with his marriage counselor. He will probably spend the balance of his campaign chest buying copies of his own horrible book, since he’s done that before.
An Atlanta woman told Fox News that she had a 13-year extramarital affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain. In keeping with his “nein-nein-nein!” policy, Mr. Cain has denied the allegations. Besides, his lawyer added, it’s nobody’s business if he did it.
More:
“Georgia Woman Finally Accuses Herman Cain Of The Affair He’s Denying,” Margaret Hartmann, Jezebel
“Lady Claims Whirlwind 13-Year Romance Affair With Herman Cain,” Wonkette
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Herman Cain’s hired gun, Chief of Staff Mark Block, a former employee of the Koch brothers’ AFP fined in 1997 for violating state campaign laws, smokes. That’s what he does in a strange campaign video that has gone viral.
Some see this as confirmation that the Cain campaign is just blowing smoke, but Mr. Cain has a long friendship with Big Tobacco. In his years as a high-powered Washington lobbyist, a career curiously ignored by his supporters, he made the National Restaurant Association a national powerhouse with money from R.J. Reynolds Tobacco and big alcohol companies. The price: Mr. Cain fought smoking bans in bars and laws lowering alcohol blood levels for drunk driving.
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Critics, especially those who can do math, think Herman Cain’s “9-9-9” tax plan is just a catchy slogan. Jon Huntsman thinks it’s the price of pizza. Nonsense. The 9-9-9 plan is just a game. A computer game. Sim City 4, to be precise.
As reporter Amanda Terkel first realized, when players participating in the city simulation begin planning taxes for their mock municipality, the game setup starts commercial, industrial, and residential taxes at 9% rates, remarkably similar to Mr. Cain’s. Gamers use the 9% defaults to figure out rates that will actually work because, even in cyberspace, “9-9-9” doesn’t cut it.
Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain has been getting lots of attention for his bumper-sticker-sized economic policy, the All Meat Combo Original Jumbo “9-9-9” tax plan. Easy to remember; easy to misunderstand the burden it would place on working people and the poor if the government was wacky enough to implement it.
Here’s where those “9s” in the slogan come from. Throw out the unwieldy U.S. tax code, then replace it with a 9% tax on corporate profits, 9% on personal income, and a 9% tax on consumption.
What’s a “consumption tax?” A 9% federal sales tax or VAT on top of your local sales tax. If you live hand-to-mouth, you would pay 9% on 100% of your income as you earn it, then another 9% on what’s left of those dollars as you spend them to cover your family’s expenses. Result: Americans who earn the least would pay the most in taxes.
Former pizza exec, energy investor, and DC lobbyist Herman Cain won the Florida Straw Poll . Headlines trumpet how he trounced the other Republican presidential candidates, and so does Mr. Cain’s campaign. The media and the Pizza King have been talking percentages, which look pretty impressive:
Herman Cain, Georgia Senate primary loser and former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, officially announced his candidacy for President of the United States. A Tea Party favorite, he will vie for the Republican slot, though his platform suggests the Know-Nothing Party. Mr. Cain said he doesn’t have a plan for the War on Terror and won’t talk about security issues until after he’s elected.
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