“Boys,” written by Luther Dixon and Wes Farrell, recorded by The Shirelles in 1960. The Beatles and other Brits didn’t get it until a year later. This was the flip side of the Shirelles hit “Will You [Still] Love Me Tomorrow.”
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The French don’t hate Americans because of boorish Yank tourists. They don’t hate us because we’re sexual prudes or because we forced them into NATO. They hate us because we let Mattel Toys corrupt their petits garçons and make them slaves to la malbouffe (junk food).
In the beginning was the pea shooter. Boy-men of the late Neolithic placed dried peas in hollow reeds and propelled them by breath at wild beasts — each other. Curious kids may have tried large-bore chickpea models, but the weapon remained virtually unchanged until the Twentieth Century, when bored schoolboys constructed long-range, accurate, non-pneumatic peashooters from mechanical pencils or Bic pens and elastic bands. The Alimentary Arms Race had begun.
