Rogue Blimp Attacks Pennsylvania!

A 243-foot-long helium-filled blimp broke its tether and escaped from Aberdeen Proving Grounds in Maryland last Wednesday and, chased by F-16 fighters, snapped some power lines before it went to ground 160 miles away in a ravine in Montour County, Pennsylvania. The $175 million surveillance “aerostat” was finally subdued by Pennsylvania state troopers with shotguns, and it’s being dismantled with chainsaws.

The pricey gasbag was part of the $2.7 billion Joint Land Attack Cruise Missile Defense Elevated Netted Sensor System or JLENS, produced by Ratheon for the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD). Two of these tethered aerostat platforms floated 10,000 in the air, protecting the airspace over Washington, DC from hostile aircraft, but they missed that Florida gyrocopter that landed on the Capitol lawn in April.

Curse You, Red Baron! Romney Blimp Crashes

Despite defensive maneuvers by the Tea Party Cavalry and artillery barrages from Koch Brothers battleships, Mitt Romney’s gas-filled airship tumbled from the skies over Boca Raton on Monday. Republican strategists blamed Soviet-inspired Sopwith Camels.

Ron Paul Trial Balloon Shot Down Over I-85

Ron Paul has yet to deploy the mighty airships of the Paulista Air Force, but a Ron Paul hot air balloon flew a sortie over I-85 in South Carolina on Thursday.  It hovered outside Greenville during morning rush hour, and may have been tethered in the frontage road, since the Highway Patrol issued a citation. As Dr. Paul might say, there’s entirely too much law.

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Gas Up the Blimp!

A humor-starved nation welcomes Congressman Ron Paul (R, TX-14) into the 2012 presidential race. His strong constituency of unmedicated mental patients, climate change deniers, potheads, gun nuts, gold bugs, teenie boppers, survivalists and anarchists makes him a Tea Party shoo-in. We can’t wait for the new blimp.

More:

“Ron Paul: Why his silly campaign launch today really matters for 2012,”Andrew Malcolm,  Los Angeles Times

“Does the Tea Party Make Ron Paul Mainstream?” Michael D. Shear, New York Times blog

 “Ron Paul stirs the pot for America’s annoyed,” Konrad Takabusi, Globe and Mail

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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