Trump’s Celebrity Celemency Show

Reality TV host, failed casino owner, litigious shady businessman, and impeachment-stained U.S. President Donald Trump has wielded his executive clemency powers to free rich celebrity felons from federal prison. While the power to grant pardons, commutations, and reprieves to federal prisoners is meant to address injustice or unfair sentences, Mr. Trump has used it to benefit people he knows — in real life, from Fox News, or through political donors, cronies, and celebrity pals.

All these former prisoners are rich white collar criminals except for a few folks championed by rich white people like realty TV star, social influencer, celebrity spouse, law student, and prisoner advocate Kim Kardashian West. In some cases a hefty contribution to the Trump campaign was a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card. If you thought America’s rich, famous, and connected were beyond the reach of the law, you’re right – until next January, anyway.

Which convicts got sprung by Trump, and what were their crimes?

Blagojevich Jailbreak!

President Donald Trump has commuted the prison sentence of one-time Celebrity Apprentice contestant and disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, the Chicago Democrat who tried to sell Barack Obama’s vacant senate seat after the 2004 election. Mr. Blagojevich was also convicted of shaking down a childrens’ hospital to try to get a $50,000 contribution from the hospital CEO, and extorting a $100,000 bribe from a racetrack owner. He was convicted of the schemes on the evidence of his phone calls, so the president can surely relate.

“Blago,” a devoted Elvis fan, had been scheduled to do the Jailhouse Rock until May 2024.

More:

“Who Is Rod Blagojevich? And Why Did President Trump Commute His Sentence?” Monica Davey and Mitch Smith, New York Times

“The Rod Blagojevich scandal and Trump’s commutation of his sentence, explained,” Andrew Prokop, Vox

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Trump May Pardon Rod Blagojevich

President Donald Trump is again considering  commuting the prison sentence of one-time Celebrity Apprentice contestant and former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, the incarcerated Chicago Democrat who tried to sell Barack Obama’s vacant senate seat after the 2004 election. “Blago,” a devoted Elvis fan, is probably all shook up. He’s serving a 14-year sentence and is scheduled to do the Jailhouse Rock until May 2024.

More:

“After Strongly Suggesting He May Commute Blagojevich’s Sentence, Trump Says Matter Is Under Review,” Maggie Haberman, New York Times

“Trump, getting facts wrong, says he may free Blagojevich,” Michael Tarm, Associated Press

“Jared Kushner urged Trump to pardon disgraced Illinois governor to appeal to Democrats: report,” Travis Gettys, Salon

 

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Supreme Court to Rod Blagojevich: Stay In the Slammer

The U.S. Supreme Court has rejected an appeal from former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, the incarcerated Chicago Democrat who tried to sell Barack Obama’s vacant senate seat after the 2004 election. “Blago,” a devoted Elvis fan, is probably all shook up. He’s serving a 14-year sentence, and won’t be sprung until May 2024.

More:

“U.S. Supreme Court again rejects hearing Rod Blagojevich’s appeal,” Jason Meisner, Chicago Tribune

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Blago’s Barber Blabs

Shocking revelations today regarding disgraced ex-Governor Rod Blagojevich. Mr. Blagojevich was removed from office in Illinois, convicted of corruption, and is serving a 16 year sentence in Federal prison, but this news is really cutting. It’s about his hair.

The news does not come from Wikileaks; it comes from his barber who, breaking his solemn tonsorial oath, revealed that Mr. Blagojevich dyes his hair.

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Blago Behind Bars

Disgraced former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich bade farewell to the Chicago media before leaving for a 14-year Colorado vacation in Federal prison. The Democrat is the second Illinois governor in a row to serve time for corruption. His predecessor, Republican George Ryan, is serving a 6 1/2 year sentence in Terre Haute.

The Federal Bureau of Prisons gave Mr. Blagojevich a bon voyage gift, a new name. He’s now known as 40892-424. Here’s another number: 69. That’s how old Mr. B. will be when he finishes serving his time.

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Blago: Big House Bound

At his sentencing hearing,convicted former Ilinois governor Rod Blagojevich told the judge he was “unbelievably sorry” for his crimes. Judge James Zagel must have found this remorse “unbelievable,” too. He sentenced Mr. Blagojevich to 14 years in prison.

Rod Blagojevich, a Democrat, was convicted of corruption, a nonpartisan attribute of Illinois governors. His predecessor, Republican George Ryan, is also in the pokey for racketeering.

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Blago Loses Law License

The Illinois Supreme Court asked former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich why his license to practice law should not be revoked. Uncharacteristically, Mr. Blagojevich was at a loss for words. The court pulled his ticket. The ex-Gov, convicted on federal corruption charges, is currently awaiting sentencing, and faces up to a zillion years in prison.

Mrs. Patti Blagojevich has a new business, selling employee benefit insurance policies. In an outbreak of Illinois irony, her husband may lose his pension.

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Blago — Celebrity Apprentice Felon

Ousted Illinois Governor and failed Celebrity Apprentice Rod Blagojevich was convicted of lying to federal agents, a felony with a penalty of up to five years imprisonment. The jury deadlocked on 23 other counts, which prosecutors intend to retry. Blago will appeal his conviction.

Hairy News

Hairy news from the Windy City. Delta Laboratories in the Chicago suburbs is marketing Blago Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner (“for really big hair!”), named in honor of disgraced former Governor Rod Blagojevich (“Blago” is his nickname). Mr. Blagojevich is known for his trademark coiffure, love of Elvis, salty vocabulary, impeachment and removal from office, and pending Federal corruption charges. “”He does have a nice head of hair,” said product creator Dennis Fath.