Posts Tagged ‘birds’

Turkey Terror Stalks the Suburbs

November 23, 2017

Turkey Terror Stalks the Suburbs

This afternoon, turkey will be a welcome guest in most American homes, but don’t be fooled. Alive and free-range, Meleagris gallopavo is a danger to life, limb, and giblets. The wild birds have cracked roof tiles in California, dangerously disrupted traffic in western New York, colonized Connecticut, battled Bridgewater, Massachusetts residents, loused up lawns in the Bay Area, and terrorized Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

Wild turkeys are native to the U.S.A., so the Trump Administration won’t stop their suburban gang violence unless those great big Mexican wild turkeys take over. Note to Trump: los guajolotes grandes will just flutter over your wall.

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The Thieving Magpie

May 27, 2017

“The Thieving Magpie,” a short film by Fabrice Mathieu. Music from the opera “La Gazza Ladra” by Rossini.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-plr

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Turkey Terror Stalks America’s Cities!

May 12, 2017

Turkey Terror Stalks America's Cities!
There’s a new gang terrorising the streets of Boston: Meleagris gallopavo. That’s right, wild turkeys are attacking people and vehicles, and the police do nothing. Thanks, Obama Trump!

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Feathered Heroes of D-Day

June 9, 2014

Feathered Heroes of D-Day

On D-Day, June 6, 1944, the Allied forces invading Nazi-occupied Normandy made use of the latest electronic technology. So how did the Allies learn of the invasion’s progress? Carrier pigeon.

Gustav (pigeon ­NPS.42.31066) flew 230 miles across the English Channel from a ship off Normandy to carry home the first D-Day news. Paddy (pigeon number NPS.43.9451), an Irish-born RAF messenger pigeon, flew 230 miles across the Channel in four hours and fifty minutes with updates. Both birds were later awarded the Dinkin Medal for bravery, the animal equivalent of the Victoria Cross. 32 birds received the Dinkin, an indication of the importance of these sturdy birds to the war effort. Try and remember that the next time their civilian cousins decorate your car.

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Killer Kittycats

February 4, 2013

Killer Kittycats

Domestic cats kill as many as 3.7 billion birds a year, according to a study led by a Smithsonian biologist. That’s about 15 percent of the bird population. They kill about half as many mice, voles and other small mammals annually. Not everyone is confident about these numbers, however, and it’s unclear how many of these killer cats are actually feral and aren’t anyone’s pets.

Clearly, our sweet house kitties are natural-born hunters, “snakes with fur.”  No need to kill them off, but letting pet pussycats roam outdoors is another matter. There are health reasons to keep cats indoors; now there are ecological ones, too.

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Short link: http://wp.me/p6sb6-fNC

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Cars Birds Love

June 24, 2012

Cars Birds Love
A study commissioned by the British car service firm Halford’s has determined that birds prefer to poop on red cars. Want the cleanest car? Buy a green one or use this:

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Government Grounds Migratory Mercenaries

January 6, 2012

Government Grounds Migratory Mercenaries

American skies are safe once more after the U.S. Government stopped sorties of soaring mercenaries. Paid pilots, cross-dressing interspecies impersonators all, have been barred from the airways by the Federal Aviation Administration.

The pilots from the so-called Occupy Birdland Operation Migration Air Force have been grounded and forced to stop transporting helpless Grus Americana youngsters across state lines for breeding purposes. Nine of the sexual captives are being held incommunicado at Alabama’s Chassahowitzka Federal Detention Facility.

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Turkeys of Doom!

November 17, 2011

Turkeys of Doom!

Next Thursday, a turkey will be a welcome guest in most American homes, but don’t be fooled. Alive and free-range, Meleagris gallopavo is a danger to life, limb, and giblets. Wild turkeys are flying into windshields and killing motorcyclists on roads across the country. In Canada, too. A bird even tried to take out a sixteen-wheeler on I-75 in Kentucky.

And the big birds have politics. Turkeys hate the media as much as any Tea Party loon:

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Pigeons: Smarter Than You Think

July 13, 2011

Pigeons: Smarter Than You Think

Pigeons are smarter than you think. Feral urban pigeons. Rock Doves, Columbia livia, aka “rats with feathers.”

French pigeons, anyway, les pigeons sauvages française de Paris.

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