Alaskans Reject Sarah Palin — Again

Fresh on the heels of August’s loss in Alaska’s special congressional election, MAGA proto-Trump Sarah Palin — former Miss Wasilla, ex-sportscaster, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate, cancelled reality TV star, Arizona homeowner, Masked Singer, and failed Fox News commentator — also lost November’s election to pro-fish Democrat Mary Peltola. Previously, Ms. Peltola was an Orutsararmuit Native Council Tribal Court Judge and 5-term Alaska state legislator before serving the remainder of deceased US Congressman Don Young’s term, then winning re-election to a full two-year term.  A Yup’ik woman from the Yukon-Kuskokwim delta, she is the first Native Alaskan to serve in the U.S. Congress. Ms. Palin, on the other hand, had been endorsed by Donald Trump.

These days, Sarah Palin seems a quaint relic of the Republican party she helped destroy.

More:

“Next act for Palin unclear after Alaska House losses,” Becky Bohrer, Associated Press

“Sarah Palin Loses as the Party She Helped Transform Moves Past Her,” Jeremy W. Peters, New York Times

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Alaskans Reject Sarah Palin

In a special election to fill Alaska’s congressional seat for the remainder of this term, MAGA proto-Trump Sarah Palin — former Miss Wasilla, ex-sportscaster, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate, cancelled reality TV star, Arizona homeowner, Masked Singer, and failed Fox News commentator — lost to pro-fish Democrat Mary Peltola. Ms. Peltola, a former Orutsararmuit Native Council Tribal Court Judge, served 5 terms in Alaska’s state legislature.  A Yup’ik woman from the Yukon-Kuskokwim delta, she will be the first Native Alaskan to serve in the U.S. Congress.

Sarah Palin has an opportunity to lose to Mary Peltola again in November, in the election for a full U.S. congressional term.

More:

“Peltola wins Alaska special election to fill Young’s House seat,” Jackie Wang and Kate Ackley, Roll Call

“Sarah Palin loses Alaska special election to Democrat Mary Peltola,” Deepa Shivaram, NPR News

“Democrat Mary Peltola tops Sarah Palin to win U.S. House special election in Alaska,” AP via The Guardian

“Wind in Democrats’ sails as Sarah Palin humbled in Alaska special election,” Ed Pilkington, The Guardian

“Republicans Have Only Themselves to Blame for Their Alaskan Defeat,” Adam Serwer, The Atlantic

“Why Sarah Palin’s loss is a warning for the GOP,” David Siders, Politico

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Image (“Mad As Hell!”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Alaska

“Alaska,” written and performed by Maggie Rogers.

Maggie Rogers website

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Northern Lights

Time-lapse video of Alaska’s Northern Lights by Alexis Coram, with music by James Everingham. Selected for the National Geographic Short Film Showcase.

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Winner: Murkowski. Certifed Sore Loser: Miller.

Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK) has been certified as the winner of November’s U.S. Senate election in Alaska. It took this long because her Tea Party challenger, Joe Miller, won the Republican primary and, after Murkowski beat him in a write-in campaign, he took to the courts to protest the people’s choice. Among other spurious grounds, the challenger sought to discount write-in ballots with slight variations of the name “Murkowski,” an easy claim if your name is M-I-L-L-E-R. The U.S. district court ruled otherwise. The name of the judge who issued the ruling:  Ralph Best Biest Beistline.

 

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Sarah Palin Tries Work, Doesn’t Like It

Former Alaska Temp-Governor Sarah Palin was a temp-waitress on her unreality TV show last week. Mrs. Palin waited tables at Peggy’s Airport Cafe in Anchorage (1675 E. Fifth Avenue, try the pies). She staged the event to show 9 year old daughter Piper “what it was like to be on your feet all day, work extremely hard and wait on people.” The presence of the professional video crew was purely coincidental.

Service was even slower than usual at Peggy’s that day, as Sarah the hard workin’ waitress spent all her time getting her picture taken with customers. Then again, Mrs. Palin’s whole career has been one long photo op. 

“Mom is doing horrible as a waitress,” said Piper. “I wouldn’t tip her because she spends too much time at the tables talking.” 

More:

“Sarah Palin: Candidate, patriot, waitress,” Francis Lam, Salon.

 

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Sarah Palin’s Hamburger on the Hoof

Here’s a wild game recipe from former Temp-Governor Sarah Palin: Caribou Hamburger. You know it’s fresh because you start grinding it while the animal is still alive. Here’s how:

Take one free-range, fresh and local Alaska caribou. Instead of downing it with one or two well-placed high-powered rifle shots, shred it with about five rounds. Burger meat the “Caribou Barbie” way. 

Oh, wait. She missed four out of five shots. The feat of arms is featured on her cable TV  show on the Learning Channel. The show really was educational. We learned the truth about Sarah Palin The Mighty Hunter, anyway.

 

Bonus feature: Do You Have What it Takes? Caribou Tracking. Take the quiz!

 Update:  “Sarah Palin succeeded in doing the impossible this week … when she faced her biggest wildlife challenge to date — Kate Gosselin.” More from Kirkland Hamill here.

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The Winner: M-u-r-k-o-w-s-k-i

 

Incumbent Lisa Murkowski has been declared the winner of Alaska’s senatorial election after a week of ballot counting. She is the first U.S. Senate candidate in over 50 years to win a write-in campaign.

The senator’s opponent, Tea Party idol Joe Miller, tried to turn the election into a spelling bee. He asked the federal court to throw out write-in ballots with slight variations of the senator’s name. The court declined to do so.

The name of the U.S. district court judge who ruled on the spelling issue: Ralph Best Biest Beistline.

 

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Sarah Palin Abdicates, Hands Over Regalia

In a moving ceremony in St. Paul’s Cathedral Atlantic City Fairbanks, Sarah Heath Palin surrendered her title as Governor of Alaska. Tears and smudged mascara marked the occasion as Lieutenant Governor Sean Parnell was sworn in as governor by Alaska Supreme Court Justice Daniel E. Winfree and donned the ceremonial sash and tiara.

Alaska Lieutenant General Craig Campbell was named Mr. Congeniality. Mr. Campbell will take over the governorship should the new governor follow Mrs. Palin into show business.