Sports: The Big Game

Sunday’s big game. The passion. The rivalry. The tail-wagging.

That’s right, it was the 2022 Puppy Bowl. If you didn’t hear, Team Fluff won. Coaches and commentators were Martha Stewart and (of course) Snoop Dogg.

It’s 2022 in America, so some very, very bad boys tried to offer online betting on the Puppy Bowl. No treats for them.

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Generic DC NFL Team Renamed

DC’s NFL team shed its long-held racist name and adopted a place-holder generic name, Washington Football Team, in July 2020. It announced a new permanent name today, February 2nd, suggesting the team would be called the Washington Groundhogs. Alas, the new name is the Washington Commanders.

It’s not “Commandos,” since NFL players really should wear undies. It could have been Salamanders, since the mediocre team is owned by lizardman Dan Snyder, but no. The new logo seems to be a sort of stenciled W, since the Nats already have the cool curly one. There’s also some sort of goofy crest.

Anyway, football fans in the DC area have seven months, until the start of the 2022 season, to practice saying “How ’bout them ‘Mandos?” Probably while shaking their heads.

More:

“Washington Football Team announces Commanders as new NFL nickname,” Steve Gardner, USA Today

“Like It Or Not, the Washington Commanders Are Officially Here,” Kelyn Soong, Washington City Paper

“Washington Has A New NFL Team Name: The Commanders,” Elliot C. Williams, DCist

“Washington Commanders Is an Appropriately Boring Name,” Benjamin Hart, New York Magazine

“The Commanders name lands ‘with a thud’ for some Washington fans,” Andrew Golden, Washington Post

Updates:

“Experts Aren’t Wowed by New Commanders Branding,” Andrew Beaujon, Washingtonian

“On Capitol Hill, ex-Washington NFL employees levy new harassment claims against Daniel Snyder,” Liz Clarke, Washington Post

“The Best (and Worst) Reactions to the Washington Football Team’s New Name,” Lauren Mccaffrey and Anna Spiegel, Washingtonian

“The Rebrand Is the Least Bad Thing About the Washington Commanders,” Matt Terl, Washington City Paper

Related:

“Washington Commanders investigating sexual harassment allegation against owner,” Chloe Folmar, The Hill

“NFL says it will control investigation into Commanders owner Dan Snyder, not the team,” Jonathan Franklin, NPR News

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Renaming the Generic DC NFL Team

DC’s NFL team, having shed its long-held racist name and become the generic Washington Football Team, will announce its new name on February 2nd, which suggests the team will be know as the Washington Groundhogs.

Other name candidates include the Commanders, Admirals, Armada, Brigade, Sentinels, Defenders, Red Hogs, Presidents and “Washington Football Team.” If only they could replace Dan Snyder with a generic “Washington Football Team Owner.”

Related:

“Washington Football Team Awaits a New Name, But the Mediocrity Remains,” Matt Terl, Washington City Paper

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Supreme Court May Dunk on NCAA

The Supreme Court will begin hearing cases again on October 4th, the first Monday in October, while 2021 NCAA fall sports seasons are well under way. A spring SCOTUS opinion by Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh suggests the court and the “amateur sports” monopoly may have a showdown before June.

“Nowhere else in America can businesses get away with agreeing not to pay their workers a fair market rate on the theory that their product is defined by not paying their workers a fair market rate,” Kavanaugh wrote. “And under ordinary principles of antitrust law, it is not evident why college sports should be any different. The NCAA is not above the law.”

More:

How US college sport became an $8bn inequity racket. And why it may fall,” Bryan Armen Graham, The Guardian

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Move Over Babe, Here Comes Henry

“Move Over Babe (Here Comes Henry),” written by Bill Slayback and Ernie Harwell, recorded by Bill Slayback, 1973. The song commemorates Atlanta baseball player Hank Aaron, who broke Babe Ruth’s 714 home run career record. With Hank Aaron’s death, the title sounds like a seating change in baseball heaven.

More:

“Babe Ruth’s record was a mythical monument of white superiority. Hank Aaron tore it down.” Kevin B. Blackistone, Washington Post

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Golf Loser: PGA Scratches Trump Course for 2022 Championship

The PGA announced Sunday that it would not hold its 2022 Championship at Trump National Golf Club Bedminster, in New Jersey. The move will certainly be seen as politically motivated by some, but it’s simple economics: it’s about sponsorship. What corporation would want its name and reputation linked with Trump after a violent mob acting in his name attacked the U.S. Capitol and killed a police officer?

The famously litigious Trump will no doubt sue, but the PGA’s lawyers are certainly more capable than, say, Trump golf buddy and attorney Rudy Giuliani.

This hits notorious golf cheat Trump where he lives. Golf is a central part of his self-identity, not just his portfolio. To make matters worse, Trump got shafted by a Florida neighbor. PGA HQ is in Palm Beach Gardens, a 17-mile drive from Mar-a-Lago.

In other sports news, the UK’s Royal and Ancient Golf Club (R&A) said on Monday that it will not hold the British Open or any other major tournaments at Trump Turnberry in Scotland as long as that orange-faced American owns the property.

More:

“PGA Championship leaving Trump National in ’22 tournament,” Doug Ferguson, Associated Press

“PGA of America votes to move 2022 PGA Championship from Trump Bedminster golf club,” Kyle Porter, CBS Sports

“R&A has no plans for British Open at Trump Turnberry in Scotland,” Jason Lusk, Golfweek

“PGA strips Trump-owned golf course of 2022 championship,” Rebecca Falconer, Axios

“The Trump Reckoning Spreads to the Golf World,” Matt Stieb, New York Magazine

“Trump is reportedly more upset about his club not hosting a golf tournament than he is about likely being impeached for a 2nd time,” Oma Seddiq, Business Insider

“An Urgent Reckoning for the Trump Brand After US Capitol Attack,” Eric Lipton, Ben Protess and Steve Eder, New York Times

Related:

“Trump kicks his golf ball back on the course so much that caddies have nicknamed him ‘Pelé,'” Jeva Lange, The Week

“The Serial Golf Cheat in the White House,” John Cassidy, The New Yorker

“Business grows skittish about Trump and GOP after riots,” Josh Boak, Brian Slodysko, and Tom Krisher, Associated Press

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Sports Genius Trump Sends Military Cadets to the NFL

Donald Trump is a football expert. He once owned a signed Tim Tebow helmet he bought with $12,000 of his charity’s money, so that should prove it. Not only that, he’s the former owner of the failed New Jersey Generals of the US Football League. In just a few years, Mr. Trump managed to tank the entire USFL.

Not content with those pro sports triumphs, now that he’s president, Mr. Trump has ordered that sports star graduates of our country’s military academies, educated at taxpayer expense, can defer their military service until after the end of their pro sports careers, so America can be defended by worn out and injured ex-jocks. Make the NFL Great Again!

More:

“President Trump orders new policy for service academy graduates pursuing professional sports,” Ava Wallace, Washington Post

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Surf’s Up — Inland

Surf’s up at the Surf Ranch, a hundred miles from the nearest ocean. Bryant Gumbel explains.

More:

“Surfing goes inland: Kelly Slater’s artificial waves push pro tour into uncharted waters,” Alex Dick-Read, The Guardian

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Skateboarders Conquer the World

“After decades of commandeering streets, sidewalks, parking lots and public sculptures, skaters entered the mainstream. Now New York City, the United States, and the world at large have all seen a surge of skate park development. With skateboarding entering the Olympic Games in 2020, the international growth of skate parks is likely only beginning.”

“Skateboarders Won,” Jeff Ihaza, New York Times

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The Ball

Meet the 2018 World Cup football.

“This year’s World Cup ball is called the Telstar 18, a nod to the original design. While the panels have changed to just six propeller-shaped pieces to make the ball even more spherical, the black-and-white checkered design is back.”

A Vox video.

More:

“Satellites and microchips: the surprising tech behind the World Cup ball,” Marc Chacksfield, TechRadar

“From Russia With Lough: Adidas Telstar 18 Is Specifically Designed to Stop Dip & Swerve,” Sports Illustrated

“World Cup 2018: Adidas boffins produce ball specially designed to stop Cristiano Ronaldo’s free-kicks,” Duncan Wright, The Sun

“Fifa World Cup 2018 ball: Adidas Telstar 18 football ‘a problem for goalkeepers,'” Jamie Teather, Evening Standard

“Telstar 18: From satellites to microchips – The tech behind FIFA World Cup 2018 ball,” Manas Tiwari, Financial Express

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