Banned in Billings? Montana Republican Wants to Outlaw Yoga Pants

“A Montana state lawmaker is pushing legislation that would ban yoga pants and Speedos in public because they ‘give the realistic appearance’ of certain parts of a person’s anatomy that should count as indecent exposure.

No, seriously.

Republican David Moore proposed the bill, according to the Billings Gazette, after he witnessed naked bicyclists last year and decided to crack down on indecent exposure laws. But beyond just people exposing certain body parts they shouldn’t, Moore also wants to crack down on clothing that conforms to certain areas of the body.

And that includes yoga pants, which, Moore said, ‘should be illegal in public anyway.’”

– “Montana Pol Pushes Bill That Would Make It Illegal to Wear Yoga Pants in Public,” Josh Feldman, Mediaite

The Montana House Judiciary Committee has tabled the bill, and the proposal has permanently assumed the Sleeping Vishnu Asana.

Eliot Spitzer and Girlfriend Shock Jamaica

According to the New York Post, the Big Apple’s tabloid rag of record, amorous antics in a hot tub by former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and gal pal Lis Smith shocked fellow guests at a hotel in Jamaica’s Montego Bay.  At another hostelry, the Mayflower Hotel here in DC, Mr. Spitzer is better known as “Client Number 9.”

Lis Smith, former spokesperson for NYC’s new Mayor Bill DeBlasio, has recently been the constant companion of Mr. Spitzer who, for now, is wed to another. Ms. Smith worked on Mr. Spitzer’s failed campaign for New York City Comptroller.

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Silvio Berlusconi Returns to Private Life

The Italian Senate expelled billionaire septuagenarian, football team owner, Bunga-Bunga Party host, one-time cruise ship crooner and disgraced 3-time former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi from membership last week so he could spend more time with his attorneys and under-aged females. The proximate cause: Mr. Berlusconi’s recent tax fraud conviction. For the first time in two decades, the Italian Government is Berlusconi-free.

Private Citizen Berlusconi has problems. There are new charges that he and his lawyers paid off trial witnesses to his notorious “bunga bunga” sex parties. The 77-year- old’s 28-year-old showgirl girlfriend has appealed to that great champion of morally challenged billionaires, Pope Francis, to clear Silvio’s name.

Update:

“Berlusconi, The Perils of Not Knowing When to Say Goodbye,” Marcello Sorgi, La Stampa via Worldcrunch

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Sex & Cell Phones

A new study indicates that 62% of women have checked their cell phones during sex. As one wag puts it, that gives a whole new meaning to the term “phone sex.”

More:

“New study finds that 62% of women ‘check phones during sex,'” Michael Blaustein, New York Post

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Image (“Woman with iPhone 5, after Jean-François Portaels”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Berlusconi: Guilty

On Monday a Milan court found Silvio Berlusconi — billionaire septuagenarian, football team owner, former Italian Prime Minister, Bunga-Bunga Party host, and one-time cruise ship crooner —  guilty of having sex with an underage prostitute and abusing his public office in an attempt to cover it up. Mr. Berlusconi was sentenced to seven years in prison and banned from public office for life. He recently lost an appeal of an earlier tax fraud conviction.

Mr. Berlusconi, owner of a vast media empire, insisted that he is innocent — on his Facebook page.

More:

“Berlusconi Is Sentenced to Seven Years in Sex Case, but Can Still Appeal Verdict,” Rachel Donadio and Elisabetta Poveledo, New York Times

“Berlusconi: ‘Sentenza violenta, io resisto alla persecuzione,'” ANSA

“Processo Ruby, condannato Silvio Berlusconi. 7 anni e interdizione perpetua dai pubblici uffici,” La Repubblica 

Update:

“Berlusconi, The End Is Near,” Marcello Sorgi, La Stampa via Worldcrunch

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Lab-Testing Tattoos

“A study by Swami and Furnham (2007) showed that tattooed women were rated as less physically attractive but more sexually promiscuous. Given that men interpret women’s sexual intent according to their physical appearance, we predicted that women with tattoos would be more favorably approached by men. A temporary tattoo was placed on confederates’ lower back, or not, and all confederates were instructed to read a book while lying flat on their stomach on a well-known beach. Two experiments were conducted. The first experiment showed that more men (N = 220) approached the tattooed confederates and that the mean latency of their approach was quicker. A second experiment showed that men (N = 440) estimated to have more chances to have a date and to have sex on the first date with tattooed confederates. However, the level of physical attractiveness attributed to the confederate was not influenced by the tattoo condition. “

– “Effects of a Tattoo on Men’s Behavior and Attitudes Towards Women: An Experimental Field Study,” Nicolas Guéguen, PubMed

Related: 

Nicolas Guéguen, Université de Bretagne-Sud website

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Spring Break

“Like Western democracy, Socratic philosophy, written histories, epic poetry, and every other foundational pillar of high culture, spring break began in ancient Greece.

Called ‘Anthestreria’ by the local teens, and their parents, it was a festival dedicated to Dionysus, the god of wine and whoopee and just about every excuse to party. For three days, people would dance, singers would perform, women would deck themselves with flowers, and Greek men would compete to see who could be the fastest to drain a cup of red wine.”

– “2,000 Years of Partying: The Brief History and Economics of Spring Break,” Derek Thompson, The Atlantic

No wonder Greek letter societies are so keen on Spring Break.

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Free Elmo!

“The man who accused Kevin Clash, the voice and puppeteer of the Sesame Street character Elmo, of an under-age sexual relationship has recanted that claim, his lawyer said on Tuesday.

The reversal came a day after the claim was published by the gossip Web site TMZ, threatening Mr. Clash’s reputation and alarming parents and other fans of the beloved children’s television franchise.”

General Petraeus: ‘I’ve Got a Secret’

David Petraeus, retired four-star general and married man of 37 years, stepped down as CIA Director on Friday, admitting to an unwise extramarital affair. President Obama accepted his resignation.

Upon learning that a government official committed adultery, the American people had two questions. The first: “So what?” Expect plenty of questions from Republican congressmen, though, particularly those who’ve been caught in bed with women not their wives.

 Everyone has a second question ….

Dinesh D’Souza Teaches Adultery 101

In 2010, conspiracy loon and propaganda producer Dinesh D’Souza was appointed President of The King’s College, a Christian institution of higher yearning located near a holy Republican shrine, the New York Stock Exchange, and funded by the Campus Crusade for Christ.  Mr. D’Sousa got a million dollars a year to run the evangelical college in between churning out books and movies and making well-paid speaking engagements and media appearances where he spoke about ethics, faith, and morality. Somehow he found time in his busy schedule to leave his wife for someone else’s wife, a young woman whom he’s been introducing as his “fiancée.” Now, that’s family values. Praise the Lord!

This situation was revealed by the evangelical Christian World Magazine. Naturally Mr. D’Sousa claimed it was all a conspiracy, but he was forced to resign anyway.