In Spring, a Panda’s Thoughts Turn To ….

The Smithsonian National Zoo reports that panda daddy Tian Tian is “in full rut,” scent-marking, rolling around, and bleating at panda momma Mei Xiang, who is restlessness but not really into it: “She often responds to Tian Tian’s calls with a moan vocalization that indicates she is not interested in him just yet.”

The female panda only goes into heat for at most 3 days a year, leaving 362 when she’s JUST NOT IN THE MOOD thankyouverymuch. Pass the bamboo, please.

More:

“Giant Panda Tian Tian Is Feeling Horny, Restless,” Rachel Kurzius, DCist

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Carlos Danger Rides Again — Into Bachelorhood

Disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner (aka Carlos Danger) was caught with his pants down again, outed by the New York Post for sending sexty photos to strange women. His wife, foreign relations pro and Hillary campaign advisor Huma Abedin, invoked the 3-strikes-you’re-out rule and announced the couple’s separation.

Since quitting Congress and losing a local election in New York City, Anthony Weiner has been a commentator for Time-Warner cable news outlet NY 1 and a columnist for the New York Daily News. The TV outfit has put him on “indefinite leave,” and the Daily News cut him loose.

Serial adulterer and Anthony Weiner campaign contributor Donald Trump expressed sympathy for Ms. Abedin and smeared her boss Hillary Clinton in a single tweet. Anthony Weiner should remind his pal Mr. Trump how dangerous Twitter can be.

More:

“Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin says she’s separating with Anthony Weiner amid third sexting scandal,” Jeff Stein, Vox

“Trump sees personal tragedy and embarrassment as just political fodder,” Ruth Marcus, Washington Post

“Don’t Expect Donald Trump to Stop Lying About Huma Abedin,” Robert Mackey, The Intercept

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Dr Cosby’s Prescription

Bill Cosby’s 1960s stand-up comedy act had a family-friendly reputation, but that overlooks a routine where he described a teenage fantasy about slipping Spanish Fly, a legendary aphrodisiac, into women’s drinks.

In sworn court testimony from 2005 recently obtained by AP, the comedian admitted obtaining seven Quaalude prescriptions in the 1970s:

”When you got the Quaaludes, was it in your mind that you were going to use these Quaaludes for young women that you wanted to have sex with?’ lawyer Dolores M. Troiani asked. ‘Yes,’ Cosby answered ….'”

— “APNewsBreak: Cosby said he got drugs to give women for sex,” Maryclaire Dale, Associated Press.

William Henry Cosby received a Doctorate in Education, but seems to have confused it with Cliff Huxtable’s medical degree.

Quaaludes, the “date-rape drug” of the Disco Era, were made a controlled Schedule 1 drug in 1985. Bill Cosby made a public service announcement for the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids in 1990.

Petraeus Pillow Talk Plea

David Petraeus, who resigned as CIA director after 2012 revelations that he’d shared classified information with Paula Broadwell, his mistress and biographer, will plead guilty to a single count of unauthorized use of classified material, and faces up to a year in jail. Perhaps General P. can continue to advise the White House on Middle East policy from prison, since that’s a pretty secure location.

Banned in Billings? Montana Republican Wants to Outlaw Yoga Pants

“A Montana state lawmaker is pushing legislation that would ban yoga pants and Speedos in public because they ‘give the realistic appearance’ of certain parts of a person’s anatomy that should count as indecent exposure.

No, seriously.

Republican David Moore proposed the bill, according to the Billings Gazette, after he witnessed naked bicyclists last year and decided to crack down on indecent exposure laws. But beyond just people exposing certain body parts they shouldn’t, Moore also wants to crack down on clothing that conforms to certain areas of the body.

And that includes yoga pants, which, Moore said, ‘should be illegal in public anyway.’”

— “Montana Pol Pushes Bill That Would Make It Illegal to Wear Yoga Pants in Public,” Josh Feldman, Mediaite

The Montana House Judiciary Committee has tabled the bill, and the proposal has permanently assumed the Sleeping Vishnu Asana.

Eliot Spitzer and Girlfriend Shock Jamaica

According to the New York Post, the Big Apple’s tabloid rag of record, amorous antics in a hot tub by former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and gal pal Lis Smith shocked fellow guests at a hotel in Jamaica’s Montego Bay.  At another hostelry, the Mayflower Hotel here in DC, Mr. Spitzer is better known as “Client Number 9.”

Lis Smith, former spokesperson for NYC’s new Mayor Bill DeBlasio, has recently been the constant companion of Mr. Spitzer who, for now, is wed to another. Ms. Smith worked on Mr. Spitzer’s failed campaign for New York City Comptroller.

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Silvio Berlusconi Returns to Private Life

The Italian Senate expelled billionaire septuagenarian, football team owner, Bunga-Bunga Party host, one-time cruise ship crooner and disgraced 3-time former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi from membership last week so he could spend more time with his attorneys and under-aged females. The proximate cause: Mr. Berlusconi’s recent tax fraud conviction. For the first time in two decades, the Italian Government is Berlusconi-free.

Private Citizen Berlusconi has problems. There are new charges that he and his lawyers paid off trial witnesses to his notorious “bunga bunga” sex parties. The 77-year- old’s 28-year-old showgirl girlfriend has appealed to that great champion of morally challenged billionaires, Pope Francis, to clear Silvio’s name.

Update:

“Berlusconi, The Perils of Not Knowing When to Say Goodbye,” Marcello Sorgi, La Stampa via Worldcrunch

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Sex & Cell Phones

A new study indicates that 62% of women have checked their cell phones during sex. As one wag puts it, that gives a whole new meaning to the term “phone sex.”

More:

“New study finds that 62% of women ‘check phones during sex,'” Michael Blaustein, New York Post

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Berlusconi: Guilty

On Monday a Milan court found Silvio Berlusconi — billionaire septuagenarian, football team owner, former Italian Prime Minister, Bunga-Bunga Party host, and one-time cruise ship crooner —  guilty of having sex with an underage prostitute and abusing his public office in an attempt to cover it up. Mr. Berlusconi was sentenced to seven years in prison and banned from public office for life. He recently lost an appeal of an earlier tax fraud conviction.

Mr. Berlusconi, owner of a vast media empire, insisted that he is innocent — on his Facebook page.

More:

“Berlusconi Is Sentenced to Seven Years in Sex Case, but Can Still Appeal Verdict,” Rachel Donadio and Elisabetta Poveledo, New York Times

“Berlusconi: ‘Sentenza violenta, io resisto alla persecuzione,'” ANSA

“Processo Ruby, condannato Silvio Berlusconi. 7 anni e interdizione perpetua dai pubblici uffici,” La Repubblica 

Update:

“Berlusconi, The End Is Near,” Marcello Sorgi, La Stampa via Worldcrunch

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Lab-Testing Tattoos

“A study by Swami and Furnham (2007) showed that tattooed women were rated as less physically attractive but more sexually promiscuous. Given that men interpret women’s sexual intent according to their physical appearance, we predicted that women with tattoos would be more favorably approached by men. A temporary tattoo was placed on confederates’ lower back, or not, and all confederates were instructed to read a book while lying flat on their stomach on a well-known beach. Two experiments were conducted. The first experiment showed that more men (N = 220) approached the tattooed confederates and that the mean latency of their approach was quicker. A second experiment showed that men (N = 440) estimated to have more chances to have a date and to have sex on the first date with tattooed confederates. However, the level of physical attractiveness attributed to the confederate was not influenced by the tattoo condition. “

— “Effects of a Tattoo on Men’s Behavior and Attitudes Towards Women: An Experimental Field Study,” Nicolas Guéguen, PubMed

Related: 

Nicolas Guéguen, Université de Bretagne-Sud website

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