Another Temp Job for Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate and failed Fox News commentator, told CNN’s Jake Tapper she’d like to be Secretary of Energy in President Trump’s cabinet so she could dismantle the agency. Mrs. Palin is pretty good at demolishing things — look at what she did to John McCain’s presidential campaign.

Despite lack of evidence, Senator McCain thought Mrs. Palin knew lots about energy. The “Energy Secretary Palin” idea was first mentioned by Newt Gingrich during his 2011 quest for the GOP presidential nomination, probably to quash talk of putting her in the VP slot. And while Mrs. Palin has occasionally opined about abolishing the agency, John McCain suggested it as far back as 1994.

Sarah Palin is, quite literally, in bed with Big Oil — her husband Todd worked for BP in the North Slope oil fields of Alaska for 18 years and only resigned after his wife left the governorship. And back in the days of high-priced oil, royalty payments from Alaska oil and gas producers kept her state’s government running despite Governor Palin’s budget disasters.

But perhaps Mrs. Palin wants to abolish an agency she heads simply due to her proclivity for short-term jobs. She was appointed to her first state job on the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission in 2003 and quit after 11 months; elected Governor of Alaska, she assumed office in December 2006 and resigned in July 2009 after serving 20 months, much of that time spent on her failed vice presidential campaign. Sarah Palin was hired as a Fox News Commentator in 2010, dropped in 2012, re-hired, and dropped again in 2015, and had reality TV shows on TLC  and the Sportsman Channel, both cancelled after one season.

What Mrs. Palin really knows about energy policy would fit on a “Drill-Baby-Drill” bumper sticker. She has no idea what the job involves and confuses it with the Bureau of Land Management (BLM). But Sarah Palin does have one prerequisite to be Secretary of Energy: Good Hair.

Must-Wince TV: Palin + Trump

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate and failed Fox News commentator, interviewed GOP front-runner Donald J. Trump on the mighty One America News Network on Friday. Outtakes:

Palin: “This is a movement of Trumpeters or Trumpservatives or whatever these folks are called. He’s avant garde, and crushing it in the polls. … he wants to connect with you, to those who are going to show up at the polls and elect the next leader of the free world.”

Trump: “If you look at what’s happening with this country, it’s so sad. You’ve pointed it out for years.” “I have to tell you, you’re a terrific person.”

On another occasion The Donald said that, even though she’s no longer a 10, he would welcome Mrs. Palin into a Trump Administration, something Hockey Mom hasn’t ruled out.

Sarah Palin Launches TV Network

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, losing GOP Vice Presidential candidate and failed Fox News commentator, is launching her own on-line TV network, the Sarah Palin Channel. Run on free-market principles, it’ll cost you $9.95 a month or $99.95 a year. A comment on Gawker suggests you go monthly, since Palin will probably quit after 6 months, like she did as Governor of Alaska.

More:

“Sarah Palin Launches Her Own Channel Online,” Todd Spangler, Variety

“Sarah Palin begins her own online channel,” Catalina Camia, USA Today

“Sarah Palin Launches Subscription-Based Online Video Channel,” Andrew Kirell, Mediaite

“Millions Pay for Rare Opportunity to Hear Sarah Palin Speak,” Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

Palin Baptism

Former Alaska Temp-Governor and amateur theologian Sarah Palin spoke to firearms enthusiasts on Saturday. “… if I were in charge,” she told them, “they would know that waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”

More:

“Sarah Palin talks waterboarding, guns at NRA convention,” Jake Miller, CBS News

“Conservative Christians Disgusted With Palin’s Religious Talk,” Sarah Posner, Religion Dispatches

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Ex-Reality Star Returns to TV

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla, failed sportscaster, ex-part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska and star of “reality” shows on TLC and Fox News, is back on the small screen in “Amazing America.” It’s on the Sportsman Channel, even though Mrs. Palin is a poor outdoorswoman.

More: 

“Former Reality Star Sarah Palin Returns To Television,” Ben Jacobs, Daily Beast

Sarah Palin: Fox News Rerun

Sarah Palin, former Miss Wasilla and once part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, will return to Fox News, where she previously impersonated a political commentator with the same authority she brought to the losing 2008 GOP presidential campaign. Six months ago Fox News ended their three-year relationship with Mrs. Palin. That’s a year longer than she lasted as Alaska’s governor. She was brought back by Fox News Chaiman Roger Ailes (who has called her stupid) as a stunt to counter competition from CNN, and probably for less money than before. She’ll contribute to morning gabfest Fox & Friends.

Palin Kicked Off Fox News

Sarah Palin, former part-time Temp-Governor of Alaska, has ended her relationship with Fox News. Mrs. Palin impersonated a political commentator on the cable news outlet with the same authority she brought to the 2008 GOP presidential campaign, and Fox was tired of looking like John McCain.

Sarah Palin was on Fox for three years, a year longer than she was Alaska’s governor, but may draw on her other past experience in future endeavors. The former Miss Wasilla would be a great spokesmodel for products like Naughty Monkey high-heeled shoes or Bushmaster assault rifles. And Mrs. P, who now has a home studio, was once was a sportscaster on an Anchorage TV station. Here’s an aircheck we’re submitting to ESPN:

Palin Canceled by Fox News?

When Sarah Palin, the former Temp-Governor of Alaska, was signed by Fox News as a political commentator, it looked like God’s Own Plan. The word now is that Mrs. Palin may be fired by Fox or, more precisely, her contract will not be renewed. We should have known after the conservative cable outlet scratched her spots at the GOP Convention and she responded with a Facebook snit.

The Discovery Network canceled Sarah Palin’s Alaska after a single season, a half-season longer than she lasted as Alaska’s Governor. An attempt to sell another “reality” show (America’s Got Moose or something) failed.

There is no truth to the rumor that Fox is replacing Sarah Palin with Tina Fey, since we just made that up. You read it here first.

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Image (“Mad As Hell!”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Sarah Palin Can’t Sell Her TV Show

Last year former celebrity Temp-Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin had a simulated-reality TV show that featured her slaughtering animals and pretending to work as a waitress. Exciting stuff, but the cable network passed on a second season. Now she’s pitching a show featuring First Thug Todd Palin riding a snowmobile, but nobody’s catching.

“Nobody Wants To Buy Sarah Palin’s Dumb New Reality Teevee Show,” Kirsten Boyd Johnson, Wonkette

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Sarah Palin Leaves 2012 Race; Now a Full-Time Fictional Character

Former Alaska Temp-Governor Sarah Palin disappointed Tea Party stalwarts by declining to enter the race for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination. She made the announcement on CNN Fox News Twitter  mighty Cumulus Media Radio. After talking it over with God, Mrs. Palin explained to host Mark Levin, she’s decided to remain on the $100,000-a-pop personal appearance circuit, hawking her book-like objects.

Sarah Palin has always been more of a celebrity than an actual public figure, a creation of marketing image-makers. Now that she’s out of the presidential race, she’s become a full-time fictional character in the novel It’s Classified, written by former Palin media advisor Nicolle Wallace.