Archive for the ‘news’ Category

Jobs Report: Unemployment Down, Conspiracy Theories Up

October 7, 2012

Jobs Report: Unemployment Down, Conspiracy Theories Up

The US unemployment rate dropped to 7.8 percent in September, its lowest level in 44 months. Employers added 114,000 workers to payrolls last month, and 86,000 more jobs were created in July and August than previously thought. There’s a great chart here for you visual learners. As economic news, this is only mildly encouraging; as political news it’s better for the Obama campaign than for Mr. Romney.

The Republicans responded to these facts the way they usually do, with conspiracy theories. This time the lunatic accuser wasn’t Herman Cain Michele Bachmann, or Donald Trump. This time it was former General Electric CEO Jack Welch, who claimed that the Bureau of Labor Statistics manipulated the figures, the kind of thing Mr. Welch did at GE. The BLS isn’t GE, though.

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Palin Canceled by Fox News?

September 2, 2012

Palin Canceled by Fox News?

When Sarah Palin, the former Temp-Governor of Alaska, was signed by Fox News as a political commentator, it looked like God’s Own Plan. The word now is that Mrs. Palin may be fired by Fox or, more precisely, her contract will not be renewed. We should have known after the conservative cable outlet scratched her spots at the GOP Convention and she responded with a Facebook snit.

The Discovery Network canceled Sarah Palin’s Alaska after a single season, a half-season longer than she lasted as Alaska’s Governor. An attempt to sell another “reality” show (America’s Got Moose or something) failed.

There is no truth to the rumor that Fox is replacing Sarah Palin with Tina Fey, since we just made that up. You read it here first.

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Impending American Apocalypse: Save Our Twinkies!

January 12, 2012

Impending American Disaster: Save Our Twinkies!

The Hostess Snack Cake company has declared bankrupcy. No Twinkies? America is doomed. The Mayans were right about 2012.

The true impact of this catastrophe will be blunted by the legendary long shelf life of Hostess cakes and the Pentagon”s massive Strategic Twinkie Reserves, but the USA will run out of Ho-Hos sometime after mid-century. Freight sidings across the country are crammed with abandoned tank cars full of vanilla creme that will never see the inside of a cupcake. Someone call the EPA.

More:

“Costly ingredients, healthier eating habits put Hostess in bankruptcy,” Mae Anderson And Michelle Chapman, AP via Detroit Free Press

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Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Respected World Leader Dead

December 19, 2011

Respected World Leader Dead

The world lost a beloved statesman this weekend.

That’s right, Václav Havel.

In other news, oddly deranged dictator Kim Jong Il dropped dead on a train.

More:

“The Psychology of Dictatorship: Kim Jong-Il,” Jason G. Goldman, Scientific American

“Dear Leaders and a Volcano,” David Bressan, History of Geology

“Kim Jong Il: Top 10 weird facts about N Korea’s late leader,”Amanda Morrow, GlobalPost

“On the Spot with Kim Jong-il,” Boston Globe photo archive.

“The Way to Understand Kim Jong-il Was Through His Stomach,” Barbara Demick, Daily Beast

“Kim Jong-il’s regime is even weirder and more despicable than you thought,” Christopher Hitchens, Slate

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Image (“Kim Jong Il Has Left the Building”) by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

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Ai Weiwei, Nude, and the Conceptual Art of Taxes

November 27, 2011

Ai Weiwei and the Conceptual Art of Taxes
Dissident artist Ai Weiwei is in trouble with Chinese authorities who say he owes millions in taxes on donations he received from around the globe. So how did he pay the $1.3 million tax case appeal bond? With donations.

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Mississippi Votes ‘No’ on Unborn Personhood

November 9, 2011

Mississippi Votes 'No' on Unborn Personhood

In a stunning blow to the new-born Zygote Civil Rights movement, voters in Mississippi prevented conception of a new state law granting “personhood” and the rights and responsibilities thereof to fertilized human eggs, without regard to the citizenship status or age of the host mother’s ovaries and uterus. This sudden outbreak of good sense is surprising after the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision granting “personhood” to corporations, allowing them the free speech to purchase all the votes they can buy.

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Big Sunday Savings. On Sunlight.

November 6, 2011

Big Sunday Savings. On Sunlight.
This Sunday morning, most Americans enjoyed big savings — an extra hour of sleep. By 2:00AM, people in most of the United States set their clocks ahead one hour. Many households also changed the batteries in their smoke detectors. In Arizona, where they don’t believe in Daylight Saving Time, people mark the day by putting fresh ammunition in their handguns.

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Citibank CEO to Protesters: ‘Call Me, Dudes!’

October 17, 2011

Citibank CEO to Protesters: 'Call, Me, Dudes!'

Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit said he would be happy to talk with Occupy Wall Street protesters, calling their motives “completely understandable.” “Trust has been broken between financial institutions and the citizens of the U.S., and that is Wall Street’s job, to reach out to Main Street and rebuild that trust,” said the chief of the third largest U.S. bank. He made the remarks as he mingled with plain working folks at a breakfast organized by Fortune magazine. If you can’t make it to Mr. Pandit’s executive suite, Gawker obligingly provides his mobile phone number (646-512-4269) and suggests a few questions. Can’t get through? Try Mr. Pandit’s office phone (212-793-1201) or email him (vikram.pandit@citi.com).

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Plumbing Boom in DC

September 30, 2011

Plumbing Boom in DC

The U.S. General Services Administration tested a prototype nuclear composting toilet in the GSA regional headquarters lady’s room on Monday. Unfortunately, the maiden voyage did not go as planned, and two brave test pilots were injured.

Details:

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