Archive for the ‘lawyers’ Category

Snyder Suit SLAPP-Down

July 20, 2011

Snyder Suit SLAPP-Down

The ACLU wants to slap Dan Snyder with a penalty. That’s Dan Snyder, millionaire owner of DC’s NFL team, and SLAPP, as in Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation. A SLAPP is a rich man’s bludgeon, used to suppress criticism or other actions by pesky peons who lack the financial resources to fight back. In this case, a critical sportswriter in DC’s weekly alternative newspaper. Mr. Snyder first filed his SLAPP in New York, then re-filed in the District of Columbia.

But DC has an anti-SLAPP law, as the ACLU just reminded him. Some other folks noted that, too, and signed on to the ACLU’s amicus brief: D.C. Councilmember Mary M. Cheh (a law professor), National Public Radio, Public Citizen, the American Society of News Editors, the Society of Professional Journalists, the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies, WJLA-TV 7, and WUSA-TV (Channel 9).


This Oil Spill Brought To You By …

May 7, 2010

This Oil Spill Brought to You By ...

Hyundai Heavy Industries Co, Ltd — Builder of the Deepwater Horizon.
HHI Offshore and Engineering Division brochure here.

Cameron — Manufacturer of oil drilling valves. 
“Cameron CEO: ‘Too Early’ To Know Blowout Preventer Role In Rig Blast,”  Brian Baskin, Dow Jones Newswires via MorningStar.

Transocean Owner and contract operator of the Deepwater Horizon.
“Transocean Ltd. Provides Deepwater Horizon Update” (press release).

BP Global — Transnational energy corporation.
“Update on Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill Response” (Press Release).

Halliburton — Oil platform services contractor.


“Gulf Coast attorneys general call on BP, Transocean and other Deepwater firms to guarantee long-term impact of oil spill,” Matthew Boyle – The Daily Caller

“BP, Halliburton, Transocean Told to Keep Rig Evidence,” Justin Blum and Jim Polson, Bloomberg News.

“Cameron International Corp. (formerly Cooper Cameron),” Arnold & Itkin, LLP.

 “Oil Blowout Device Maker Has $500M For Liability,” AP via WKRG-TV.

“BP’s blame-game tightrope,” Rowena Mason, Daily Telegraph.

“GoM blowout: assigning blame and liability,” Oil & Gas Financial Journal.

NEW:  “Clarifying Questions of Liability, Cleanup and Consequences,” Matthew L. Wald, New York Times.


Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not boring or obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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Constitution, Cheney-Style

March 11, 2010

Constitution, Cheney-Style

Like her Constitution-redacting Dad, Liz Cheney would deny counsel to Gitmo defendants and tar and feather any lawyers who try to represent them. The Cheneys would brobably throw John Adams in jail for defending Boston’s Redcoats if that lousy, traitorous Founding Father hadn’t conveniently died (the socialist coward!).

Sixth Amendment? What “Sixth Amendment?”

Having trouble reading the Cheney version of the Constitution (above)? Here’s Liz’s handy cheat sheet:


Pantsless Pearson Presses His Suit

August 29, 2009

Pantsless Pearson Presses His Suit

DC Judge Roy L. Pearson, Jr. sued a local dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants. The grounds for his claim: the family-run business had a sign that read “Satisfaction Guaranteed;” he said that was false advertising. His claim was denied. So was his appeal of the decision.

The lawsuits may have cost Mr. Pearson re-appointment as a District of Columbia Administrative Law Judge.  A lack of judicial temperament was cited in the decision not to re-appoint him to a second ten-year term.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Pearson sued over this decision in U.S. District Court, a wrongful termination suit. He lost.

Now Mr. Pearson is taking his wrongful termination case to the U.S. Court of Appeals.


Food Court

May 29, 2009

Food Court

U.S. Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor is a woman of proven courage. Here’s a speech she served up to an audience in the macrobiotic enclave of Berkeley, California:

For me, a very special part of my being Latina is the mucho platos de arroz, gandules y pernir — rice, beans and pork — that I have eaten at countless family holidays and special events. My Latina identity also includes, because of my particularly adventurous taste buds, morcilla — pig intestines, patitas de cerdo con garbanzo — pigs’ feet with beans, and la lengua y orejas de cuchifrito, pigs’ tongue and ears.  

— Judge Sonia Sotomayor, 2001 Olmos Memorial Lecture, UC Berkeley School of Law

Judge Sotomayor is expected to get a thorough grilling in the Senate next month, so do some legal research with these recipes from blogger Stacey Rose. For more recipe rulings and oven opinions, mute your speakers and see: El Boricua, Recipehound,and Cocina Criolla

To get a better … gut feeling about the nominee, see Puerto Rican Cuisine in America: Nuyorican and Bodega Recipes by Oswald Rivera;  for supreme Sotomayor stocktaking, consult Carmen Valldejuli’s Spanish-language Cocina Criolla.


Hat tip: Ben Smith, Politico.

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

Giuliani Golf Joke Tour

May 21, 2009

Giuliani Golf Joke Tour

Former Duke “Blue Devil” Golf Team member Andrew Giuliani is making headlines this week — not as a pro golfer, but for helping Federal Judge Wallace W. Dixon launch a second career in standup comedy. Mr. Giuliani is the son of former New York mayor and failed Republican presidential candidate Rudolph “9-11” Giuliani and one of his former wives, newscaster-actress Donna Hanover.

Andrew Giuliani was thrown off the Duke University golf team for being a bad sport and a bad golfer. Naturally he sued the university and golf coach for breach of contract; what spoiled brat wouldn’t? Duke just awarded young Mr. Giuliani his degree; he filed Civil Action No. 1:08—cv—00502 in Federal District Court and turned pro (after a fashion).

The result of the legal action: a star is born. Not Mr. Giuliani but Judge Dixon, whose opinion on the case delighted duffers and editors alike, making hilarious headlines:


Oath ‘Oopsy’

January 22, 2009

  Oath 'Oopsy'

Both the New York Times and New York Post are calling U.S. Chief Justice John G. Roberts., Jr. the “Oaf of Office” merely because he muffed a little act the entire world happened to be watching, the historic swearing-in of Barack H. Obama as 44th President of the United States of America. Picky, picky, picky.

So many people were so upset by this gaffe that President Obama and Chief Justice Roberts reprised the routine to soothe the world with word magic. The oath was repeated (flawlessly this time) yesterday.

Does this mean we can get “do-overs” of all the other interpretations Justice Roberts has botched since he was sworn-in back in 2005?


Oopsy (noun) from “oops” (exlamation; var. “whoops” or “woops”) a minor error (houp! ops! esprime rincrescimento per un piccolo contrattempo).

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

How Ill is Illinois?

December 11, 2008

How Ill is Illinois?

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Hamlet, Act I, scene IV, line 99.

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has been arrested on federal corruption charges.

Q:  Just how corrupt is the Prairie State?
A: Compared to what?

USA Today‘s John Fritze reports that over a dozen states are even more corrupt, based on U.S. Department of Justice statistics for federal public corruption convictions. This measure omits state- and local-level corruption convictions, indictments not resulting in convictions, arrests not resulting in indictments, and situations with corruption so endemic that no one bothers (or dares) to bring it to official attention.


Blagojevich Legal Defense

December 11, 2008

Blagojevich Legal Defense

Accused of trying to sell the Senate seat vacated by President-elect Obama and attempted extortion of a major newspaper and the Chicago Cubs, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has few strategic legal options open to him.

The most promising legal theory is the Flip Wilson Ploy.

Time Magazine proposes another variation.


Image by Mike Licht (the only one on his block in DC who isn’t a lawyer).  Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht,

NFL Highlights — Giants Receiver Catches Bullet

December 2, 2008

NFL Highlights -- Giants Receiver Catches Bullet

Week 12 NFL Highlights: Big Play by Plaxico Burress.

NotionsCapital explains the intricacies of American professional football.

NY Giants star Plaxico Burress wore sweatpants to the Latin Quarter nightclub.

— Granted, the LQ isn’t what it used to be, but still, sweats in a Big Apple nightclub?  No wonder  the guards wouldn’t let him in at first.

— No pockets in sweatpants; that’s why he had to carry the illegal handgun in his waistband, and why it slipped out – weak elastic, even with designer labels.

— If you wear sweatpants to a fancy nightclub, you have to wear lots of gold jewelry so people know you are not poor, just someone with no taste who doesn’t give a sh*t, someone rich and important enough to get away with wearing sweatpants to a fancy nightclub. Rules are for poor people.

— Lots of gold jewelry makes you a target for other people who don’t give a sh*t, robbers and muggers. That is why you have to bring along an unregistered gun when you go drinking in fancy nightclubs. That will be an interesting legal theory for the defense, even if the judge wears sweats under his robes (many do).