Archive for the ‘Laura Bush’ Category

Condolences to the Bush Family

January 6, 2009

Condolences to the Bush Family

NotionsCapital has not been very approving of George W. Bush, like the rest of the world, the nation and History.

Nevertheless, our thoughts are with the President and his family upon the death of the most beloved member of their household, Willie (formerly “Indio.”) We extend our deepest sympathy.

 

(Okay, not everyone is sad at this transition.)

 

Image by Mike Licht. Download a copy here. Creative Commons license; credit Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com

Comments are welcome if they are on-topic, substantive, concise, and not obscene. Comments may be edited for clarity and length.

A Gift for W

December 24, 2008

A gift for W

During the past year, NotionsCapital has not always been kind to President George W. Bush. We admit to having shown him in an unflattering light, resorting to extreme measures like comparing his statements to observed reality in the known universe (though not as dramatically as Al-Baghdadia TV’s Muntazer al-Zaidi). 

In this season of goodwill, on the eve of his departure from the power and prestige of the White House, as he prepares to leave Washington luxury for the simple pleasures of his Texas ranch and trade limousines for pickup trucks, we offer Mr. Bush a simple gift to mark this momentous life transition:

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Book Festival for a Nation of Non-Readers

September 26, 2008

Book Festival for a Nation of Non-Readers
Featured book of the Book Festival. Really.

Instead of distributing millions of free books to America’s children or restoring the NEA and NEH budgets, U.S. Library-Lady-in-Chief Laura Bush is hosting what we fervently hope is the last National Book Shill Festival on Washington, DC’s National Mall tomorrow, Saturday, September 27, 2008.

The festival presents our greatest living American authors: Dionne Warwick and her psychic friends, Laura Bush & Jenna Bush (what a coincidence!), Chris Duhon ( NBA Chicago Bulls) and Ivory Latta (WNBA Atlanta Dream; “good friend” of LeBron James and Chris “Ludacris” Bridges).

This year there is a Featured Book: Our White House: Looking In, Looking Out ( Candlewick Press, 2008) about the public housing facility currently occupied by, um, Laura Bush.

P.S.: Tomorrow is the start of Banned Books Week, celebrating the Freedom to Read since 1982.

Our sympathies to the beleaguered employees of the Library of Congress whose valuable time and resources have been wasted on this absurd Book Fest. It will probably rain tomorrow, too. Stay home and read banned books.

Wild Waco Weekend

May 7, 2008

Wild Waco Weekend

The Jenna Bush – Henry Hager wedding has paralyzed tiny Crawford Texas and stunned nearby Waco, which already has a full calendar of events this weekend. While everyone is moved that President Bush built a limestone altar for the nuptials (it will barbeque three whole briskets too), some Texans who are not selling souvenirs are annoyed with the additional traffic, fuss and bother.

This is a royal wedding, American-style. It is not every day that the daughter of a sitting president weds a former aide of Grand Vizier Karl Rove. Henry Hager is also son of a former Virginia Lieutenant Governor who heads the Republican Party in Virginia, and is rich.

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Art of the Fence

April 5, 2008

Art of the Fence

In a stunning move to circumvent environmental regulations and funding challenges, the Bush Administration has commissioned artist Christo Javacheff to complete construction of the controversial 470-mile fence along the Mexican border. Funds for the gargantuan project will be administered through the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA).

NEA Chairman Dana Gioia announced the $50 billion grant, largest in the Endowment’s history, as part of the new “Art in Alien Places” program on April 1. The grant will be matched by a similar amount to be raised through cocktail parties co-hosted by the artist’s wife Jeanne-Claude and First Lady Laura Bush. Earlier plans to use completed fence segments for the Donald Rumsfeld Celebrity Squash Tournament were vetoed by the artist.

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Pixelating America Revisited

March 4, 2008

Pixelating America Revisited
In today’s Washington Examiner, local columnist and Oakton High School teacher Erica Jacobs describes attending the “Picturing America” preview and succumbing to the charm of First Lady and former Texas school librarian Laura Bush.

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Pixelating America

March 3, 2008

Pixelating America

Noted retired School Librarian Laura Bush and her spouse recently announced free distribution of the “Picturing America” trading cards series, “40 iconic images” that kids will love to collect and use for gambling. The National Endowment for the Humanities produces free matching wallpaper and PowerPoint images to cheer up our failing schools and growing juvenile prisons.

I regret to say the series includes the boring “Landsdowne Subdivision” portrait of George Washington rather than the “Rockin’ With George” version preferred by artist Gilbert Stuart (above). Nutrition police have banned bubblegum from the card packs. I ask you, what could be more “iconically American” than bubblegum?

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G.W. Bush Presidential Library

February 23, 2008

G.W. Bush Presidential Library

After years of negotiations, controversy, and protest, it has finally been decided that the George W. Bush Presidential Library will be constructed at Southern Methodist University (SMU) in Dallas.

The President has no connection whatsoever to SMU, but his wife went there to become a school librarian, so it all fits together. [Insert your favorite My Pet Goat joke here]. Actually, unless President Bush rescinds his Executive Order 13233, which makes most of his papers secret, his presidential library could be a shoebox.

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Winter in Acapulco for DC Citizens – Free!

October 19, 2007

Acapulco Go Go, Y’All! Northeast Inna House!

Free Acapulco vacations this winter for everyone in Washington, DC!

Here’s my plan:

Citizens of the District of Columbia pay taxes but, due to a little Constitutional faux pas, a tiny 200-year-old gaffe, they aren’t represented in Congress.

Let’s intensify our constant pestering about this teeny little oversight and quote the Declaration of Independence, Constitution, Federalist Papers and other tiresome anachronisms until we finally annoy enough really powerful people so much they finally make Congress “retrocede” Washington to another state to give DC citizens Congressmen and Senators with votes and get us to shut up.

Unlike recent proposals imposing DC on Maryland, though, let’s force Congress to follow strict historical precedent and stick Washington onto the Old Dominion, the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Horrified, the Virginia General Assembly will immediately declare all DC citizens Official Aliens.

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Ballou and Burma

October 12, 2007

“. . . a real dialogue that leads to a peaceful transition to democracy.”

Last Week, First Lady Laura Bush addressed a Senate Foreign Relations subcommittee about her deep concern for the peaceful democracy activists in Burma and the “shameful” crackdown on protests by young monks.

Yesterday she threw a reporter out of the White House for asking if the Washington, DC high school students she was honoring should aspire to be in the U.S. House of Representatives.

If Mrs. Bush can make official statements about democracy for the young people of Burma, she can answer a perfectly reasonable question about democracy for the youngsters of her nation’s capital.

The young members of the Ballou Band watched the First Lady, a professional educator, eject a reporter for exercising a constitutionally protected right, for asking a question about their own rights and future.

Mrs. Laura Bush taught the members of the Ballou High School Band a Civics lesson they will never forget.